#36 - The Price

Short, sorry... bridge update =P

These Magnet Hearts - Kina Grannis Starts at 27 seconds or something...


Alex was gone, and it was impossible not to miss him. I had gotten so use to always being around him; so use to spending all my time with him.
I sat on the floor in my apartment beside Keisha, random books and pieces of paper surrounding us as we quizzed each other for our upcoming finals.

I cursed myself for getting so far behind in my work; it was because of this that I was left at home while the guys were on a week long trip in Canada.
I tried to remind myself that he’d be back Friday night; and really, it wasn’t that far away.

Of course, to save my sanity - or his - he called me and text’d me lots. ‘Miss you’, “Can’t wait to get back to you’, ‘I’ll play for you tonight’.
It was funny that we’d already fallen into a pattern and yet, every time I saw a message from him, I got giddy all over again.

As if on cue, my phone started vibrating again; and I jumped, reaching out quickly to flip it open. “Hey Jes!”

“Hey! How’s your trip going?” I asked, overly-excited, as Keisha made a gagging noise in my direction.

“Good, good… missing you. Greener’s taking the opportunity to hit on me, since you’re not here to stop him but… we’ve won all the games so far…” I could only laugh as Greener vehemently denied Alex’s words from somewhere in the background.

“Well, I miss you too… couple more days until you’re back though…”

“Mmm… back and then into playoffs. I still won’t get to see you too much, how do you survive without me?” He chuckled and I could hear the grin in his voice as I sighed.
I could hear a commotion sound around him and I couldn’t help but laugh again.

“I guess I should let you go… sounds like the whole teams in there now.”

“Just about… I’ll be back late Friday, wanna meet me at my place?”

“Sounds good… I’ll see you soon.”

“Ne magu zhit' bes tebya… have a good night babe.” I said goodbye and wished him luck before I hung up the phone.

“Oh, you guys an official couple now?” She asked grinning as she chucked a biology book aside.
I nodded, causing her to grin even more. “I’m very happy for you… honestly… I still don’t understand what took you so long.”

Suddenly, I glanced up at Keisha, and without giving it a second thought; I started to speak quickly. “Mario Lemieux is my dad. That’s kind of what kept us apart, I guess I just thought about it too much.”

“Like… the Penguin?” Keisha asked, looking slightly confused as she shuffled through the papers in her hands.

“Yes. The Penguin.”

“Oh… I guess that makes sense then. Hey… where’d you put the muscle diagram?” She asked, as she dropped the papers onto the ground, glancing around.

I laughed quietly as I handed her the diagram in question, shaking my head. I felt stupid keeping that secret from Keisha for all this time; I should have known that it wouldn’t effect her either way. She was fairly steady when it came to friendship; she’d been unwaveringly loyal to me since we met, and I felt slightly awful that I hadn’t told her until right now.
Of course she didn’t even notice that anything was off, but even so, I made a mental note to be open with her in the future.


I laid in bed after Keisha had left to go home, staring at the clock. Technically since it was after 1AM, it was no longer Wednesday.
That meant all I had to do was get through today and then all day tomorrow; I could do that.
I sighed as I rolled over onto my back and pulled the covers up tighter; I was turning into a very pitiful person.

The bed began to vibrate and I jumped up, grabbing for my phone; which was stashed underneath my pillow. “Alex?

“Hey babe, did I wake you?” He said quietly as I let out a squeal of surprise.

“No… I’m just lying in bed trying to fall asleep… what are you doing?” I grinned, ridiculously excited to hear from him.

“Nothing much, just sitting on the bus… thinking about you…”

“I miss you.” I blurted out, unable to stop myself. I couldn’t believe that I was having a conversation like this; me, of all people.
I was not a dependent, flirty, lovey-dovey person; or at least, I hadn’t been.

I could hear him chuckle quietly from the other line before he spoke again. “I miss you too. I should let you sleep though, I just wanted to hear your voice.”

The last thing I wanted was to get off the phone - sleep be damned. “Alright… I’ll talk to you tomorrow then, have a good night.”

“Night Jes.”

I rolled over and sighed contentedly as I stowed my phone back under my pillow. I didn’t think it would be possible to fall asleep at all; not with how excited I was, but soon enough I felt my eyes get heavy.
I curled up into a tiny ball and wrapped my arms around my body pillow; just a couple more days…

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


Turn Right - Jonas Brothers(Cover) Starts about a minute in.

We got back to Washington earlier than expected. The guys were excited, they wanted to go out and party; one last giant bash before playoffs hit.
I had absolutely no interest in going out; not when my beautiful girlfriend was curled up in my bed, waiting for me.

I raced home, ignoring speed limits as I steered the ‘stang through the dark streets.
I made it home in record time; pulling the car into the garage and jumping out. I tried to calm myself down enough that I could remain somewhat silent as I pushed open the squeaky kitchen door.

All the lights were off except the small bulb above the stove, causing me to grin. Most men wouldn’t notice it at all, the others, that did notice it would probably not give it a second thought.
For me though, that tiny little light meant that someone else was here, and, that that someone cared enough to leave it on. That light was more than just a source of illumination; it was a welcome home sign.

I dropped my bag in the middle of the kitchen and jogged up the stairs; shedding my clothing like a horny teenager, as I made my way to my room.

The door was wide open and I walked through it, to find Jespin sleeping soundly; curled up underneath a thick layer of blankets.
I smiled to myself as I gently crawled onto the bed, sliding down underneath the covers. I pushed myself up against her and pulled her into my arms; careful to not wake her.
Unconsciously, she nuzzled into me, and I held onto her tighter. I felt my entire body relax as her scent surrounded me and the feel of her skin overpowered every other thought in my mind.

In the same moment that I was ecstatic to be back with her, I was angry at myself for having to leave.
Who cared what my job was… I was an idiot for every wanting to be apart from her. I knew that there was nothing I could do about it; but the thought still bothered me.

She had changed me so completely, alerted my life until it was unrecognisable, and I didn’t want to loose her. Not ever.
I was in love with her; wholly and irrevocably in love with her. There was nothing I could do to stop it, even if I wanted to. Jespin was as big a part of me now, as anything else that was in my life.

I didn’t deserve her love, and I didn’t deserve to feel this way about anyone; especially not someone as incredible as her.
I was terrified of her leaving, and I tightened my hold on her; as if that could stop her from ever going.

I didn’t like when people had power over me; the only thing that meant was that they could hurt you, and I didn’t want to hurt again.
That’s why I had always picked the most superficial girls I could find. They were people that I would never fall for, people that would never actually love me back; they were safe. They were safe because, if they left, I could just find someone else to replace them.

Jespin was irreplaceable. If she changed her mind, I wasn’t sure what it would do to me; but I had a good idea.
And then, as hard as I tried to fight it; I was ten years old again.

I rolled away from Jes, afraid to wake her; as the tears began to fall down my face. I shook my head slightly, trying to fight off the overwhelming feeling of hopelessness and abandonment that washed over me.
Why was I doing this to myself? Everyone I loved left me, for one reason or another. That was a life lesson I knew, all to well, but I was still here.

I was pushing my luck by letting her in, by letting her get this close to me. We were at the edge, if she got any closer; she was going to see the monster that I really was.
I didn’t want that. I didn’t want her to look into my eyes and see the type of person I was, the type of brother I had been. Yet that was always my way.
I was selfish, controlling, neurotic; I got people killed.

My brother had paid the price for my egocentricity; was I really willing to make Jespin pay for it too?