Try - Kina Grannis (It doesn‘t start till about 40 seconds in to the video)
November. It was November and Jespin was still avoiding me like the plague. I should have been ready for the snap-back into reality; should have been. I hadn’t been though, and it had stung like a bitch the next day at the arena when she walked past me like she didn‘t know me. No, not like she didn’t know me… like she despised me.
Everyone of the guys had seen what happened; they’d seen Jespin all over me, me all over her - then this. My mood was not being helped by the snide remarks either. Questions about my performance and just how badly I’d let her down.
Yes, I had taken Jespin home from the bar, back to my place; no, nothing happened. I didn’t even kiss her; not because I didn’t want it to, and not because she didn’t try - but because it didn’t feel right.
I didn’t need alcohol to get a girl into bed, and regardless of what people thought about me; I wasn’t about to take advantage of someone, no matter who they were or how badly they wanted to.
I was apparently naïve enough to think that one night could change everything; or at least change everything for the better. It didn’t though, and I could help that she was being ridiculous. And what the fuck did she even want from me?
She wanted space? I gave her space. Time? I gave her time. She wanted to forget the whole thing ever happened? I let it go - or at least stopped trying to talk to her about it. Still nothing. Zip. Zilch. Zero.
Everybody had something to say. A moral, story, piece of advice that they felt was relevant to my situation; but no one had an answer. Not a single one.
It had been Mike’s idea to back off; but that was impossible. It was the only suggestion that I hadn’t tried - the only suggestion I wouldn’t try. I liked to think that I was normally the ‘bigger’ person; in this situation it was pretty clear that I was the one at least trying to make something happen. I, however, was not that big of a person; there was no way I was giving up.
I was loosing sleep over this girl; not just because it hurt to be shot down, but because one night had changed my thoughts on relationships.
As corny cliché as it sounded, it had felt right to have her in my arms; I just couldn’t accept that she didn’t realize it too.
“Jespin. Just talk to me!” I pleaded, for the hundredth time. Following her down the deserted corridor towards her office. “Jespin…”
“What?” She snapped, catching me off guard as she spun around, acknowledging me for the first time. She was on the verge of tears but it didn’t stop me.
Six weeks of rejection, annoyance, confusion and anger was boiling up inside of me, reaching a breaking point as she glared at me. At me.
Like this whole thing was my fault; like I’d forced her to act that way, instead of just being a bystander.
I had been planning on what to say since the morning that she left my house quickly; her delicate, oval, face blushing crimson with embarrassment once she realized where she was. I had a game plan, a list of things to verbalize once she finally spoke to me; a list that got longer everyday.
Now that I was here, standing face to face with her for the first time since that night, I couldn’t remember a single god-damn thing.
“What the fuck?” Was all I could manage to sputter, throwing my arms out to the side and staring at her in complete amazement. “Well…?” I said after a few awkward moments of silence. “Do you not have anything to say?”
“Excuse me? Do I have anything to say? You’re the one that won’t just leave me alone!” She turned away from me so fast that her hair fanned out, almost hitting me as she moved to leave. “It was a mistake!” She shouted, turning back around; angry, pleading. “A mistake…” She repeated, softer this time.
The fire was still burning in her eyes as she stared up at me, but there was something else too. She truly wanted to forget that anything had happened, and she was begging me to understand that.
I couldn’t.
A mistake? It would have hurt less if she just ran me over with a bus. I dropped my head and took a step back; trying to figure out whether or not it was really a mistake. I wanted Jespin, in the physical sense, at the very least. I knew this, but maybe she really, honestly didn’t want me.
I tried to replay that night before in my mind; she had pressed against me, wrapping her body around mine, wanting me… if I had of gone along with her once we got back to my place, I was positive she would have let me get away with anything I wanted. “No it wasn’t?” I tried to state it, like I was telling her the way it was; but it came out more like a question than anything.
She nodded, closing her eyes and looking away; stubborn and difficult like always.
Without thinking I reached out; grabbing her arms and pulling her towards me. Her eyes opened in surprise as I gripped her tightly. She didn’t try to move away but I held her firmly, just in case.
I stared at her hard, watching her plump lips open slightly; as if she was going to say something - but no words came out. I had the strongest desire to kiss her, but I shook the thought away, trying focus on finding the right thing to say.
Jespin spoke up first. “Where’s your girlfriend?” She asked quietly but crossly.
“What? I don’t know… what does that have to do with anything?” She stared at me with disbelief, rolling her eyes when I didn’t say anything else.
This time she tried to pull away, but I stopped her. “If it was just a mistake, then why do you care where she is?” I said smugly, pressing my face into the strawberry scented, black waves of her hair; inhaling.
“I didn’t say it did…” she answered softly. “It was just a question.”
I pulled my face back to meet her eyes. We stared at each other, both of us searching for something in the other one.
I couldn’t tell what she wanted; then again, I wasn’t even sure what I wanted anymore.
It was turning out that I really wasn’t ready for this conversation; I needed an out.
I let go of her arms and took a step away from her. “Just don’t ignore me anymore, it‘s screwing up my game…” I said, unable to think of anything else to say. I turned around and headed away, covering my face with my hand.
“Ovie, I hate to say this man… but you’re kind of lame now.” Brooksy said as he rooted through my fridge. “Jesus, why is there so much chicken in here? Butcher run out of woolly mammoth?” He quipped, peering up over the steel door to grin at me.
“Funny.” I grunted, laying back down on the couch. It wasn’t the first time I’d heard it this past month; apparently I was moping, sulking, being a loser, lame, ’no fun’.
I sighed as I flicked through the channels, not really able to see anything. I listened to Brooksy as he continued to rummage through my kitchen. Normally I would tell him to get out, or at least stop eating all my shit; but I truly didn’t care, not now.
I felt my phone vibrate beside me and I picked it up. Masha, again. I shook my head, moving to chuck it, when I got a flash of inspiration.
Flipping the phone open I held it up to my ear. “Yah?”
“Oh, so now he answers! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?! Do you have any idea-”
“It’s over.” I said nonchalantly, interrupting her before she could get into a grove with her rant.
“… what?”
“Over…” I said slowly, trying not to let the smile come through in my voice.
“Sasha! Baby… think about this… I think you just need time.” She started to croon, her demeanour completely changing. “You don’t really want that…”
“No, I’ve been thinking about this Masha. It’s done.”
“There has to be something that I can-”
I exhaled, starting to get annoyed. “Masha you don’t even like me… just get over it. Besides, I like someone else.” I added smugly; not bothering to mention that ’someone else’ was being a complete baffling bitch at the moment.
I heard Masha inhale and knew that she was about to explode. I glanced over the couch to see Brooksy staring at me; the last thing I need is to get bitch out in front of one of the guys. “Ah… gotta go.” I said quickly, hanging up the phone and turning it off in an act of complete cowardice.
“You do realize that she’s probably going to kill you now.” He said matter-o-factly.
“Yep.”
“You might have to join the witness protection program.”
“Yep.”
“Wanna get drunk?”
“Yep.” I said again, shutting off the TV and jumping over the back of the couch.
Eight Vodka’s later and I was finally starting to make sense of my situation. “I’m just gonna tell her!” I said with finality. “I mean, what’s the worse she can do? She likes me.”
“She totally likes you.”
“You saw her!”
“I did! Jespin was all about the Ovechkin lovin’.” I grinned with confidence before clinking my empty glass against Brooksy’s beer bottle. He was right, she wanted me.
“I should make some big deal about it, right?”
“Yah man! Chicks eat that shit up.” I flagged the waitress for another round of drinks before putting my head together with Brooks. We needed to come up with someone good, and big. Very big.
I heaped the boxes into the back of Greener’s car. “Do not take no for an answer Mike, you understand me?”
He nodded, giving me a smile. “It’s gonna be ok Alex, chill out.” He slammed the car door and hopped in. “We’ll see you soon, alright?”
I sighed and shook my head. It was unlike me, to be this nervous; especially where women were concerned.
Now that my intoxication had worn off; this was seeming more and more like a bad idea.
The concept of a woman actually saying no to me, had always been foreign; not possible. Nevertheless, as I watched Mike drive away from me, I couldn’t help but feel afraid. Funny that the one girl I want to say yes, is the first one I ever thought would say no…
Monday, November 30, 2009
Sunday, November 29, 2009
#13 - Only
Fallen Through - Skye Sweetnam
“Come in...” I called out in response to the knocking at my office door; trying to make my voice as pleasant as possible. I lifted my head out of my hands and glanced up as the it opened. Mike stepped through giving me a big grin before he flopped down on the chair across from me, kicking his feet up onto my desk. I raised my eye brows as I watched him, waiting.
“Ugh! You‘re in a bad mood too?” He whined, pulling his feet off the polished surface and leaning over the desk towards me.
“What are you talking about?” I sighed, leaning away from him. I wasn’t in a good mood and the last thing I needed was stinky hockey boy in my face.
He tilted his head, rolling his eyes as he watched me. “Ovie’s tearing up the dressing room, and you’re moping. Who am I suppose to party with tonight?”
“I’m not moping…” I said quietly, folding my arms over my chest and avoiding his question and comment. I didn’t want to admit I was in a bad mood; and Alex had no reason to be angry so - destruction had to be an overstatement. He chuckled softly, pushing himself off the chair and standing up.
“Well, we’re going out tonight!” He said happily, extending his hand towards me. “It’ll be fun Jes, I promise… come on!” He added when I wouldn’t accept his gesture. He walked towards me, grabbing my arm and pulling me up. “We’ll get ya so drunk that you don’t even remember his name!”
“Who’s name?”
“That’s the spirit!” Mike laughed, causing me to groan as I allowed him to drag me out the door.
I felt uncomfortable in the crowded bar. It was packed with scantly clad people and the line up was still wrapped around the building outside; not that that effected us - god forbid a Capital had to wait in a line.
I squeezed in between Semi and Mike, not wanting to associate with the more rowdy crowd of guys off to the side; I shook my head as I watched them carrying on.
I wasn’t a stranger to the secret lives of hockey players; having grown up around them, but this was still weird. I was use to my boys.
I was used to Geno and his insatiable taste for vodka and women. I was used to Max and his loud shirts and louder voice. I was used to Gogo and Jordan and their disorderly, uncontrollable lifestyles… those things felt like second nature to me, but this mirror image didn’t fit right.
I couldn’t help comparing them. Who was the ladies man, who was the shy, quiet one, who was the party animal… who was the leader…?
It made me sad, thinking about them like that; like I was trying to replace my family with a bunch of people I hardly knew. The sadness spreading through me, on top of the anger I was still feel towards a certain Russian, were making me pound back the drinks; a lot more than I should have.
Good on his word Mike kept them coming; unfortunately, I couldn’t drink enough to drown out his comments and questions. “So you’ve fallen for the old Ovie charm?” He grinned at one point, resting his arm around my shoulders and pulling me towards him.
He didn’t do it in a seductive manner; more like the action of a trusted friend, trying to keep something from being overhead.
“No!” I said in a loud whisper, feeling my face heat up. It was an effect of the alcohol, for the most part. I chalked the rest off to being embarrassed that Mike could think I would ever fall for Alex; ignoring the part of me that was suggesting maybe in a weird way, he was right.
“You sure about that? I think he’s falling for you…” He added, wagging his eyebrows at me as I stared at him incredulity.
Rolling my eyes I glanced away towards the bar. Alex was there, of course he was there. I sighed, taking another sip of the martini in my hand. “Alex Ovechkin has the emotional range of rock, and the mental capacity to match.” I spat at Mike, causing him to break out in hearty laughter and mumble something about ’avoiding questions and selective hearing’.
The next time conversation occurred to me; the table a foot away was covered in empty glasses and I couldn’t stop laughing even though nothing was happening. “Ohno… I don’t-’member what I was gonna’do…” I slurred, staring hard at Mike, searching for a coherent thought.
“You were about to go get Alex… he wants to dance with you!” Mike grinned at me.
“Yes!” I shouted enthusiastically, I love dancing! How did I forget that? I thought happily, rocking back and forth until I had enough force to propel myself off the couch.
I hit the table first; cracking my shin off the side of it. “Are my boobs’out?” I shouted at Mike, leaning over in front of him as I tried to adjust myself and rub my sore leg at the same time. Ugh… I hate bras! A man, a man invented these… damnit! I should burn it like they use to… I need a match…
Where was I going? Shit, I need a drink.
I stumbled away from Mike and the other guys, all of whom were watching me go. I was halfway towards the bar when I tripped.
One second I was falling towards the ground; the next I was covered in vodka and being hoisted up by a pair of strong arms. Alex! Wait, what did he want again? “What?” I shouted at him.
“What?” He shrugged back, his warm breath blowing across my exposed skin; leaving goosebumps in it’s wake. I looked up into his face, staring. Haha, he looks like the Geico commercials. I bet he has a nice body though… six pack probably… god I want beer…
He was still watching me. “What?” I asked, unsure of what he wanted. He sighed, tucking my under his arm and spinning me around, back towards Mike. Oh yah! “Mike said’you-wanna to-dansh…” I word vomited, grabbing onto him for support and pushing him towards the dance floor.
I could feel his taut form underneath the thin layer of fabric that was separating our bodies.
Suddenly my face began to flush from something other than embarrassment and alcohol. He grabbed back onto me, dragging me behind him down the small set of stairs.
He spun me around until my body was squished against his. I looked downward at my breasts; the were popping out of the low-cut caps shirt I was still wearing from work, hanging out like a smorgasbord, begging to me fondled. I bit my lip, looking back at Alex.
Somehow, in a matter of seconds the entire world had disappeared, leaving me alone in the arms of this man; the only man I could see.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Rhianna Vs. Ludacris - Stand Up/Umbrella
Jespin was completely smashed; anyone with eyes could see that. She was nestled on one of the couches in between Greener and Semi; giggling at nothing in particular, martini clutched tightly in one hand.
Greener had figured something out; every time he saw my looking in their direction he got a righteous smile on his face. It was pissing me off. That, on top of his arm draped around Jespin was throwing me over the edge - jealousy was not a good look for me, nor was it something I was accustomed to.
And I couldn’t deny that that’s exactly what I was experiencing. If she had a thing for Greener than there was nothing I could do about it; short of crushing his face in - a definite possibility given my current state.
I shook my head, tearing my attention away from her, I didn’t want to start fighting team-mates, I had to get out of here. And fuck her for this! Who is she to chase me out of the team’s bar? This was supposed to be my hunting grounds; a place I could come where people respected me, just as much as they did in the arena.
I headed towards the bar; I was Alex Ovechkin, I wasn’t going to let her chase me out. But if I was staying, a few more drinks were in order.
I grabbed the bartender’s attention, getting a glass of straight Vodka and downing half of it before I turned back around.
The first thing I noticed was that Jespin was no longer on the couch. I searched the crowd around Mike, unable to find her. I should have felt nothing, but I felt furry; if she left with someone else, it was a direct slap in my face. I exhaled loudly, catching Mike’s eye as I made my way towards him; at least I can relax with the guys now…
I was halfway back when I caught Jespin in my arms, sloshing some Vodka down her side as she stumbled into me. I glanced over at Mike as I pulled her up; he was pointedly looking away from me, a shit-eating grin plastered on his face. “What?” She yelled at me, grinning like a drunk chick from Girls Gone Wild.
“What?” I asked, shrugging my shoulders.
“What?” She yelled again, this time confusion clouded her face. I sighed, rolling my eyes as I secured her under my arm, moving back towards the couches. “Mike said’you-wanna to-dansh…” She hiccupped, wrapping an arm around my waist and pushing me backwards into the crowd of people.
A tiny piece of my brain was thinking that this was probably not a good idea; not after the conversation I had with her earlier. It was hard to forget her words, but harder to ignore the warmth of her body as her arms snaked around me.
I pounded back the rest of my drink, tossing the cup on a nearby table as I grabbed onto Jespin forcefully, pulling her down the stairs after me.
I found a semi-clear space and spun her around until her chest was pressed up against my ribcage. The beat pounding out of the speakers was fast, but I held her tightly, keeping her movement slow as she began to grind her hips into me.
I tilted my head back, grunting softly as her hands grabbed onto the back of my neck; twisting into my hair. I pulled my head back up and glanced down at her. Her eyes were closed and her teeth were tugging at her soft, pouty, bottom lip. Her crow black hair was sticking to her neck with perspiration; my eyes following a single drop of sweat as it rolled down the inviting crevice of her breast. I licked my lips, squeezing onto her hips powerfully, allowing my fingers to dig into her soft flesh - through a single layer of denim.
Her teeth released the glossed surface of her lip as her eyes grew wide in surprise. I released the pressure, sliding my hands back to her round ass. I pushed a foot in between her legs, pulling her towards my crotch.
I brought my face down, nuzzling it against the top of her head as the heat from her pussy started to spread up my leg, egging on my already growing erection.
This was out of the normal for me. I didn’t dance with girls, not like this. By the time I was even slightly aroused we were already on the way back to their place. I knew it wasn’t going to happen with Jespin, not tonight anyway, and as far as what was happening was concerned; I was ok with it, as long as I could keep her body against mine.
She dropped her hold on my neck, leaning away from me with her upper body. I held her firmly in place with my hands as she began to arch backwards; her hands raking through her damp hair.
It was my turn to bite my lip as she swayed her hips harder into me; a small smile playing on the corner of her luscious lips she dropped a hand down, running the length of her lean body.
I wanted her. As sure as I was fantastic, I wanted every inch of her confusing, bipolar body. As badly as I wanted her, I knew too, it was all the alcohol. How much would she have to drink in order to want me? I wasn’t sure, but it was obvious she’d reached that point.
I shook that thought away, it wasn’t hard to forget about self-pity when I was too busy undressing her with my eyes.
I could picture, oh too clearly, the soft flesh of her pale skin; the way it would feel underneath me, react to my touch. The sight of her bubble gum lips as they screamed my name, begging for me to fill her harder, faster. The way her nipples would stand up, hardening as I worked my tongue, lips and teeth over them. I could almost feel the pleasure of heat and wetness that would slide over me as I fucked her; whatever the position - I could picture them all.
I loved being the center of attention, people paying attention to me; right now however, I hated it. I’d give anything to be a regular guy; someone who would only have to deal with an arrest if I bent her over the railing. The thought was too tempting.
Like she was reading my mind, her eyes fluttered open, shining up at me as they reflected the flashing lights of the smoky room. At me.
This wasn’t a random drunk-dance; there was something else here. She didn’t just look at me as if I was a scratch post or a pole; she smiled at me, like she knew exactly what she was doing.
Maybe the alcohol was making her a bit more extroverted than usual; but she wasn’t acting completely out of character. That was the seductive grin of a girl that knew what she wanted; and those eyes were only for me.
“Come in...” I called out in response to the knocking at my office door; trying to make my voice as pleasant as possible. I lifted my head out of my hands and glanced up as the it opened. Mike stepped through giving me a big grin before he flopped down on the chair across from me, kicking his feet up onto my desk. I raised my eye brows as I watched him, waiting.
“Ugh! You‘re in a bad mood too?” He whined, pulling his feet off the polished surface and leaning over the desk towards me.
“What are you talking about?” I sighed, leaning away from him. I wasn’t in a good mood and the last thing I needed was stinky hockey boy in my face.
He tilted his head, rolling his eyes as he watched me. “Ovie’s tearing up the dressing room, and you’re moping. Who am I suppose to party with tonight?”
“I’m not moping…” I said quietly, folding my arms over my chest and avoiding his question and comment. I didn’t want to admit I was in a bad mood; and Alex had no reason to be angry so - destruction had to be an overstatement. He chuckled softly, pushing himself off the chair and standing up.
“Well, we’re going out tonight!” He said happily, extending his hand towards me. “It’ll be fun Jes, I promise… come on!” He added when I wouldn’t accept his gesture. He walked towards me, grabbing my arm and pulling me up. “We’ll get ya so drunk that you don’t even remember his name!”
“Who’s name?”
“That’s the spirit!” Mike laughed, causing me to groan as I allowed him to drag me out the door.
I felt uncomfortable in the crowded bar. It was packed with scantly clad people and the line up was still wrapped around the building outside; not that that effected us - god forbid a Capital had to wait in a line.
I squeezed in between Semi and Mike, not wanting to associate with the more rowdy crowd of guys off to the side; I shook my head as I watched them carrying on.
I wasn’t a stranger to the secret lives of hockey players; having grown up around them, but this was still weird. I was use to my boys.
I was used to Geno and his insatiable taste for vodka and women. I was used to Max and his loud shirts and louder voice. I was used to Gogo and Jordan and their disorderly, uncontrollable lifestyles… those things felt like second nature to me, but this mirror image didn’t fit right.
I couldn’t help comparing them. Who was the ladies man, who was the shy, quiet one, who was the party animal… who was the leader…?
It made me sad, thinking about them like that; like I was trying to replace my family with a bunch of people I hardly knew. The sadness spreading through me, on top of the anger I was still feel towards a certain Russian, were making me pound back the drinks; a lot more than I should have.
Good on his word Mike kept them coming; unfortunately, I couldn’t drink enough to drown out his comments and questions. “So you’ve fallen for the old Ovie charm?” He grinned at one point, resting his arm around my shoulders and pulling me towards him.
He didn’t do it in a seductive manner; more like the action of a trusted friend, trying to keep something from being overhead.
“No!” I said in a loud whisper, feeling my face heat up. It was an effect of the alcohol, for the most part. I chalked the rest off to being embarrassed that Mike could think I would ever fall for Alex; ignoring the part of me that was suggesting maybe in a weird way, he was right.
“You sure about that? I think he’s falling for you…” He added, wagging his eyebrows at me as I stared at him incredulity.
Rolling my eyes I glanced away towards the bar. Alex was there, of course he was there. I sighed, taking another sip of the martini in my hand. “Alex Ovechkin has the emotional range of rock, and the mental capacity to match.” I spat at Mike, causing him to break out in hearty laughter and mumble something about ’avoiding questions and selective hearing’.
The next time conversation occurred to me; the table a foot away was covered in empty glasses and I couldn’t stop laughing even though nothing was happening. “Ohno… I don’t-’member what I was gonna’do…” I slurred, staring hard at Mike, searching for a coherent thought.
“You were about to go get Alex… he wants to dance with you!” Mike grinned at me.
“Yes!” I shouted enthusiastically, I love dancing! How did I forget that? I thought happily, rocking back and forth until I had enough force to propel myself off the couch.
I hit the table first; cracking my shin off the side of it. “Are my boobs’out?” I shouted at Mike, leaning over in front of him as I tried to adjust myself and rub my sore leg at the same time. Ugh… I hate bras! A man, a man invented these… damnit! I should burn it like they use to… I need a match…
Where was I going? Shit, I need a drink.
I stumbled away from Mike and the other guys, all of whom were watching me go. I was halfway towards the bar when I tripped.
One second I was falling towards the ground; the next I was covered in vodka and being hoisted up by a pair of strong arms. Alex! Wait, what did he want again? “What?” I shouted at him.
“What?” He shrugged back, his warm breath blowing across my exposed skin; leaving goosebumps in it’s wake. I looked up into his face, staring. Haha, he looks like the Geico commercials. I bet he has a nice body though… six pack probably… god I want beer…
He was still watching me. “What?” I asked, unsure of what he wanted. He sighed, tucking my under his arm and spinning me around, back towards Mike. Oh yah! “Mike said’you-wanna to-dansh…” I word vomited, grabbing onto him for support and pushing him towards the dance floor.
I could feel his taut form underneath the thin layer of fabric that was separating our bodies.
Suddenly my face began to flush from something other than embarrassment and alcohol. He grabbed back onto me, dragging me behind him down the small set of stairs.
He spun me around until my body was squished against his. I looked downward at my breasts; the were popping out of the low-cut caps shirt I was still wearing from work, hanging out like a smorgasbord, begging to me fondled. I bit my lip, looking back at Alex.
Somehow, in a matter of seconds the entire world had disappeared, leaving me alone in the arms of this man; the only man I could see.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Rhianna Vs. Ludacris - Stand Up/Umbrella
Jespin was completely smashed; anyone with eyes could see that. She was nestled on one of the couches in between Greener and Semi; giggling at nothing in particular, martini clutched tightly in one hand.
Greener had figured something out; every time he saw my looking in their direction he got a righteous smile on his face. It was pissing me off. That, on top of his arm draped around Jespin was throwing me over the edge - jealousy was not a good look for me, nor was it something I was accustomed to.
And I couldn’t deny that that’s exactly what I was experiencing. If she had a thing for Greener than there was nothing I could do about it; short of crushing his face in - a definite possibility given my current state.
I shook my head, tearing my attention away from her, I didn’t want to start fighting team-mates, I had to get out of here. And fuck her for this! Who is she to chase me out of the team’s bar? This was supposed to be my hunting grounds; a place I could come where people respected me, just as much as they did in the arena.
I headed towards the bar; I was Alex Ovechkin, I wasn’t going to let her chase me out. But if I was staying, a few more drinks were in order.
I grabbed the bartender’s attention, getting a glass of straight Vodka and downing half of it before I turned back around.
The first thing I noticed was that Jespin was no longer on the couch. I searched the crowd around Mike, unable to find her. I should have felt nothing, but I felt furry; if she left with someone else, it was a direct slap in my face. I exhaled loudly, catching Mike’s eye as I made my way towards him; at least I can relax with the guys now…
I was halfway back when I caught Jespin in my arms, sloshing some Vodka down her side as she stumbled into me. I glanced over at Mike as I pulled her up; he was pointedly looking away from me, a shit-eating grin plastered on his face. “What?” She yelled at me, grinning like a drunk chick from Girls Gone Wild.
“What?” I asked, shrugging my shoulders.
“What?” She yelled again, this time confusion clouded her face. I sighed, rolling my eyes as I secured her under my arm, moving back towards the couches. “Mike said’you-wanna to-dansh…” She hiccupped, wrapping an arm around my waist and pushing me backwards into the crowd of people.
A tiny piece of my brain was thinking that this was probably not a good idea; not after the conversation I had with her earlier. It was hard to forget her words, but harder to ignore the warmth of her body as her arms snaked around me.
I pounded back the rest of my drink, tossing the cup on a nearby table as I grabbed onto Jespin forcefully, pulling her down the stairs after me.
I found a semi-clear space and spun her around until her chest was pressed up against my ribcage. The beat pounding out of the speakers was fast, but I held her tightly, keeping her movement slow as she began to grind her hips into me.
I tilted my head back, grunting softly as her hands grabbed onto the back of my neck; twisting into my hair. I pulled my head back up and glanced down at her. Her eyes were closed and her teeth were tugging at her soft, pouty, bottom lip. Her crow black hair was sticking to her neck with perspiration; my eyes following a single drop of sweat as it rolled down the inviting crevice of her breast. I licked my lips, squeezing onto her hips powerfully, allowing my fingers to dig into her soft flesh - through a single layer of denim.
Her teeth released the glossed surface of her lip as her eyes grew wide in surprise. I released the pressure, sliding my hands back to her round ass. I pushed a foot in between her legs, pulling her towards my crotch.
I brought my face down, nuzzling it against the top of her head as the heat from her pussy started to spread up my leg, egging on my already growing erection.
This was out of the normal for me. I didn’t dance with girls, not like this. By the time I was even slightly aroused we were already on the way back to their place. I knew it wasn’t going to happen with Jespin, not tonight anyway, and as far as what was happening was concerned; I was ok with it, as long as I could keep her body against mine.
She dropped her hold on my neck, leaning away from me with her upper body. I held her firmly in place with my hands as she began to arch backwards; her hands raking through her damp hair.
It was my turn to bite my lip as she swayed her hips harder into me; a small smile playing on the corner of her luscious lips she dropped a hand down, running the length of her lean body.
I wanted her. As sure as I was fantastic, I wanted every inch of her confusing, bipolar body. As badly as I wanted her, I knew too, it was all the alcohol. How much would she have to drink in order to want me? I wasn’t sure, but it was obvious she’d reached that point.
I shook that thought away, it wasn’t hard to forget about self-pity when I was too busy undressing her with my eyes.
I could picture, oh too clearly, the soft flesh of her pale skin; the way it would feel underneath me, react to my touch. The sight of her bubble gum lips as they screamed my name, begging for me to fill her harder, faster. The way her nipples would stand up, hardening as I worked my tongue, lips and teeth over them. I could almost feel the pleasure of heat and wetness that would slide over me as I fucked her; whatever the position - I could picture them all.
I loved being the center of attention, people paying attention to me; right now however, I hated it. I’d give anything to be a regular guy; someone who would only have to deal with an arrest if I bent her over the railing. The thought was too tempting.
Like she was reading my mind, her eyes fluttered open, shining up at me as they reflected the flashing lights of the smoky room. At me.
This wasn’t a random drunk-dance; there was something else here. She didn’t just look at me as if I was a scratch post or a pole; she smiled at me, like she knew exactly what she was doing.
Maybe the alcohol was making her a bit more extroverted than usual; but she wasn’t acting completely out of character. That was the seductive grin of a girl that knew what she wanted; and those eyes were only for me.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
#12 - Confrontations and Brooding
Untouchable Face - Ani Difranco
“Hey… you.” I looked up at the sound of a woman’s voice; heavily wrapped in accent. I assumed she was calling to me; seeing as how we were the only people in the entrance way. She was walking towards me with purpose and determination. “You’re Jespin, right?” She spat, her stone-cold gray eyes full of judgement and disgust.
This was the girl I had seen, only days before, with her arms wrapped around Alex. His girlfriend.
“Yah… can I help you with something?” I asked slowly, glancing around the empty lobby, searching for the guy I had been thinking about all morning.
She didn’t answer, reaching out and roughly grabbing hold of my right arm; pulling it upwards until my hand was in front of her face. The emerald and diamond ring sparkling under the neon light. “Oh…” I breathed out, my eyes slowing moving back and forth between the ring and her stern glare.
She gave me a sickly sweet smile as her eyes began to boil over with rage. “Now you remember?”
“Hey look…” I said, pulling my arm out of her grasp and holding my hands up in defence. “I didn’t know about you when he gave it to me, and it’s just a gift… nothing happened between us.”
“What?” She snapped, her orange cheeks taking on a red tint as her lips pulled back over her teeth in a snarl. “What do you mean nothing happened? He’s buying you diamond rings and you didn’t even fuck him?”
What the hell… “Uh… what?” I asked, honestly confused. I had told her nothing happened; one, because it was the truth, and two, because I had assumed that’s why she was so upset about.
“Chush' sobach'ya!” She screamed, the sound echoing of the high ceiling. “Ok listen to me…” She snapped, grabbing the back of my head and pulling me towards her. I could feel her manicured nails digging into my scalp as she hissed at me. “I don’t give a shit who you are or what you want. If you want to fuck him, by all means, have your fun. But he. Is. Mine. Do I make myself clear? I’ve worked my ass off for far to long to have some American bitch come in and take him.”
“Ok… maybe I’ missing something but, shouldn’t you be telling me not to fuck him?” She started to laugh, letting go of my head and giving me a pat on the cheek.
“Oh, that’s so cute.” She said in a giddy, condescending voice, shaking her head at me like I was the most hilarious thing she’s ever seen. “I don’t care about that. I will marry him though. And I will have his name and his money… I deserve it.” She explained, her voice serious again. “Sasha and I have an understanding… I turn a blind eye to his little escapades over here in America, and he gives me anything I want…”
I was staring in open mouthed amazement. There is no way she just said that… am I being Punk’d or something? I took a quick glance around the lobby; which was still very empty. Ashton Kutcher? Anywhere? “I- I-” I started to sputter, unable to think of anything to say.
“Did you think you were special? Like he really cared about you? He’s fucked every girl in here… you’re just new meat. He always comes home to me, don’t forget it.” She snorted, fully gloating as she turned on her heel and began to march off.
I felt angry tears pool around the lids of my eyes, blurring my vision as I watched her leaving. She was right, of course she was right. I knew that, it wasn’t like people didn’t talk about him like that; it wasn’t like I had really expected anything different… but it just didn’t make sense. If all he wanted was sex, then why would he go through all this trouble with me instead of just grabbing a puck bunny? Unless that’s what he thought I was… just another easy lay.
I wasn’t sure how long I stood like that for; all I knew was that she was long gone, and had been for a while. I took a few deep breaths, still willing my body to reject the tears it wanted to cry. I was convinced if none fell, than everything would be ok - somehow.
I started walking, down the hall, towards my office, trying to remember what I was suppose to be doing.
First the whole thing with Sidney, now this? At least I hadn‘t slept with him; I owed the boys a thank you for that. We were alone for thirty seconds before Jordan ran up the stairs after us, stopping us from doing anything but sleeping. I was scared of what would have happened if they didn‘t come up. I couldn‘t keep leading Sidney on; but I also didn‘t have the heart to tell him no… “Hey Jes.”
“Hey.” I replied numbly, still caught in a daze as I walked with my head down; bewildered.
“Are you ok?” Ok… what a dumb concept. I thought, looking up for the first time. Alex was watching me, concern evident on his face as he gave me a weak smile.
“Oh… like you care!” I yelled, his sudden appearance snapping me back into the reality of the situation.
His eyes grew wide at my sudden behavioural change. “I-, what?”
“You know what Alex, fuck you! I hope you and your gold digging girlfriend are happy together… cause you definitely deserve each other.”
“What are you talking about? Did she-”
“Oh yah… had a great chat with her.” I snapped, rolling my eyes.
“Jes, whatever she said-”
“It doesn’t matter what she said! I don’t care… I don’t care about you or who you wanna sleep with! Just know, it’s not gonna be me.”
“Jespin, would you just wait a second?”
“Fuck you.”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Dazed and Abused - Seether
I watched her take off, shoving past me as she stormed down the hall, her words echoing all around me. What the fuck just happened? I had no idea what that was about, but I could guess. Looks like I need to go find Masha…
I exhaled slowly, looking up and down the hall. I should go find Masha, figure out what the hell’s gotten into her; but I didn’t want to. I wanted to go chase the angry girl in the ugly red jacket.
“Would you just talk to me for a minute?” I asked again, resting my forehead against her office door. “Jespin? I know you’re in there… could you at least tell me what she said?”
“Why don’t you go ask her?” Came the bitchy reply from the other side of the door.
Women… I sighed, shaking my head slightly. The bitchy ones are never worth the trouble, and the ones that never give you shit, are sluts. “Look, I don’t understand why you’re so mad at me-” I started to say when the door swung open.
“Mad at you? I’m not mad at you! That would imply that I feel one way or another about you, and I don’t.” What the hell is going on…? I thought, trying to keep any hint of emotion off my face.
“Look, whatever she said, just forget it-”
“I already have! Now go away!” She tried to close the door again but I stuck out my hand, holding it open with ease. She groaned in frustration before giving up, allowing me to push the door open, following her into the small, square room.
She sat down in her chair, arms folded across her chest. “I just hate confrontations… especially the kind that I shouldn’t be a part of.” She said after a long while, softer and less hostile than before.
I nodded my head, taking the seat across from her. “I’m sorry about that, I’ll talk to her-”
She waved the idea away with her hand. “Don’t worry about, just forget it happened… that’s what I plan on doing.”
“Alright…” I said slowly. She grabbed some papers from a desk drawer and began to shuffle through them; I took that as my cue to leave. “Well, either way… I’m sorry she did… whatever she did…” I got up, moving towards the door.
“She’s using you, you know? She doesn’t even like you…” I turned around, shrugging my shoulders - this wasn’t something I didn’t already know. “Your money… and the celebrity, that’s all she wants… I just, thought you should know.” She finished sympathetically, staring up at me with pity in her eyes.
“I know.” I said simply, my anger growing as she stared at me; watching me like she was somehow better than I was.
The compassion on her face changed into disbelief. “You know? Then why are you still with her?”
“Why do you care?” I asked bluntly, not waiting for her answer as I headed back out the door.
I hit the volleyball high in the air, sending it sailing towards Semi. He spiked it down and I dove for it; colliding Brash as we hit the cement floor. “I called that one Ovie…” Brash complained. “Where’s your head at?”
I got off the ground and glanced around; everyone was looking back at me. I knew what they were all thinking - something was off - that’s because, something was off.
I never played like this, ever. The match of volleyball we played before each game was just for fun; something to get the blood flowing and our bodies working together. If there was anyone on the team who didn’t take it seriously enough, it was me. Not today though.
I couldn’t pay attention to what anyone was saying, and I couldn’t help but let my anger out on the small white ball.
Giving up completely after another brutal screw-up on my part, I shook my head and jogged off towards the locker room. “Ovie… Ovie man, wait up.”
I came to a complete stop, groaning as I waited for Mike to catch up. “What’s going on, are you alright?”
“Yah. Why?” I snap, grinning slightly as he started to laugh at the irony in my retort.
He moved around until he was standing in front of me, looking very much like a mother-hen; his disapproving gaze causing me to roll my eyes. “Just a bad day… nothing to worry about.” When his stare didn’t let up I exhaled loudly and continued. “Masha got up in Jespin’s face I guess… I don’t know. I tried to apologise and she told me that Masha was using me, then I left.”
“Okay first off, you apologised for something? Holy shit! And no offence man but, the only reason I didn’t tell you Masha was a money grabbing skank was cause I thought you already knew…”
“I did… I do…” I said, trying to end this conversation; it had gotten extremely close to reaching a place I didn‘t want it to go; back to Jespin.
“Well… then why are you so pissed off?” I shrugged as nonchalantly as I could, finally pushing past Mike and heading towards the locker room. “Ovie!” Mike called again from behind me, this time I ignored him; he couldn’t help me with anything so, there was no point talking to him about it. I don’t have a clue what’s going on myself, how am I suppose to explain it to someone else?
Who was she to think that I needed her pity? Her sympathy? No matter what I did someone was always getting their panties in a bunch over it; and I was just plain sick of it. Don Cherry thinks I celebrate wrong. Players think score goals wrong. Caps management has a problem with my driving ability… we made it under the fucking door! No one died!
I guess that’s the problem with being bigger than life; everything you touch becomes newsworthy, something for people to talk about… again and again.
I spat out a string of profanities, slamming my hand against the wall as I thought about Jes again; replaying our conversation in my head.
It didn’t matter what she had said; I saw how angry she was, upset over the whole thing. It just didn’t make sense. I tried the ‘notoriety’ act, I tried the ‘showering with gifts’ sham; none of it worked… she didn’t want the money or the name, so why the hell was she so mad at me?
I spun around, lashing out at the nearest thing. A swift kick sent the first aid kick spiralling across the locker room, smashing into the wall; it’s contents spilling out everywhere.
If she doesn’t care about any of it then why should it matter? Why does she care how I spend my money, or how Masha spends it?
There’s got to be something more to this! Maybe she isn’t mad about that, maybe she’s mad about Masha. She did seem pretty upset when she saw us together… no, that’s not it either.
I tried the ‘nice guy’ thing too and it didn’t work.
Maybe… Ugh! Forget it!
I couldn’t bring myself to even consider other options; I was done. Finished. If Jespin wanted to be a confusing bitch than that was her problem; it had nothing to do with me. I’m Alex Ovechkin… I don’t brood over chicks.
“Hey… you.” I looked up at the sound of a woman’s voice; heavily wrapped in accent. I assumed she was calling to me; seeing as how we were the only people in the entrance way. She was walking towards me with purpose and determination. “You’re Jespin, right?” She spat, her stone-cold gray eyes full of judgement and disgust.
This was the girl I had seen, only days before, with her arms wrapped around Alex. His girlfriend.
“Yah… can I help you with something?” I asked slowly, glancing around the empty lobby, searching for the guy I had been thinking about all morning.
She didn’t answer, reaching out and roughly grabbing hold of my right arm; pulling it upwards until my hand was in front of her face. The emerald and diamond ring sparkling under the neon light. “Oh…” I breathed out, my eyes slowing moving back and forth between the ring and her stern glare.
She gave me a sickly sweet smile as her eyes began to boil over with rage. “Now you remember?”
“Hey look…” I said, pulling my arm out of her grasp and holding my hands up in defence. “I didn’t know about you when he gave it to me, and it’s just a gift… nothing happened between us.”
“What?” She snapped, her orange cheeks taking on a red tint as her lips pulled back over her teeth in a snarl. “What do you mean nothing happened? He’s buying you diamond rings and you didn’t even fuck him?”
What the hell… “Uh… what?” I asked, honestly confused. I had told her nothing happened; one, because it was the truth, and two, because I had assumed that’s why she was so upset about.
“Chush' sobach'ya!” She screamed, the sound echoing of the high ceiling. “Ok listen to me…” She snapped, grabbing the back of my head and pulling me towards her. I could feel her manicured nails digging into my scalp as she hissed at me. “I don’t give a shit who you are or what you want. If you want to fuck him, by all means, have your fun. But he. Is. Mine. Do I make myself clear? I’ve worked my ass off for far to long to have some American bitch come in and take him.”
“Ok… maybe I’ missing something but, shouldn’t you be telling me not to fuck him?” She started to laugh, letting go of my head and giving me a pat on the cheek.
“Oh, that’s so cute.” She said in a giddy, condescending voice, shaking her head at me like I was the most hilarious thing she’s ever seen. “I don’t care about that. I will marry him though. And I will have his name and his money… I deserve it.” She explained, her voice serious again. “Sasha and I have an understanding… I turn a blind eye to his little escapades over here in America, and he gives me anything I want…”
I was staring in open mouthed amazement. There is no way she just said that… am I being Punk’d or something? I took a quick glance around the lobby; which was still very empty. Ashton Kutcher? Anywhere? “I- I-” I started to sputter, unable to think of anything to say.
“Did you think you were special? Like he really cared about you? He’s fucked every girl in here… you’re just new meat. He always comes home to me, don’t forget it.” She snorted, fully gloating as she turned on her heel and began to march off.
I felt angry tears pool around the lids of my eyes, blurring my vision as I watched her leaving. She was right, of course she was right. I knew that, it wasn’t like people didn’t talk about him like that; it wasn’t like I had really expected anything different… but it just didn’t make sense. If all he wanted was sex, then why would he go through all this trouble with me instead of just grabbing a puck bunny? Unless that’s what he thought I was… just another easy lay.
I wasn’t sure how long I stood like that for; all I knew was that she was long gone, and had been for a while. I took a few deep breaths, still willing my body to reject the tears it wanted to cry. I was convinced if none fell, than everything would be ok - somehow.
I started walking, down the hall, towards my office, trying to remember what I was suppose to be doing.
First the whole thing with Sidney, now this? At least I hadn‘t slept with him; I owed the boys a thank you for that. We were alone for thirty seconds before Jordan ran up the stairs after us, stopping us from doing anything but sleeping. I was scared of what would have happened if they didn‘t come up. I couldn‘t keep leading Sidney on; but I also didn‘t have the heart to tell him no… “Hey Jes.”
“Hey.” I replied numbly, still caught in a daze as I walked with my head down; bewildered.
“Are you ok?” Ok… what a dumb concept. I thought, looking up for the first time. Alex was watching me, concern evident on his face as he gave me a weak smile.
“Oh… like you care!” I yelled, his sudden appearance snapping me back into the reality of the situation.
His eyes grew wide at my sudden behavioural change. “I-, what?”
“You know what Alex, fuck you! I hope you and your gold digging girlfriend are happy together… cause you definitely deserve each other.”
“What are you talking about? Did she-”
“Oh yah… had a great chat with her.” I snapped, rolling my eyes.
“Jes, whatever she said-”
“It doesn’t matter what she said! I don’t care… I don’t care about you or who you wanna sleep with! Just know, it’s not gonna be me.”
“Jespin, would you just wait a second?”
“Fuck you.”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Dazed and Abused - Seether
I watched her take off, shoving past me as she stormed down the hall, her words echoing all around me. What the fuck just happened? I had no idea what that was about, but I could guess. Looks like I need to go find Masha…
I exhaled slowly, looking up and down the hall. I should go find Masha, figure out what the hell’s gotten into her; but I didn’t want to. I wanted to go chase the angry girl in the ugly red jacket.
“Would you just talk to me for a minute?” I asked again, resting my forehead against her office door. “Jespin? I know you’re in there… could you at least tell me what she said?”
“Why don’t you go ask her?” Came the bitchy reply from the other side of the door.
Women… I sighed, shaking my head slightly. The bitchy ones are never worth the trouble, and the ones that never give you shit, are sluts. “Look, I don’t understand why you’re so mad at me-” I started to say when the door swung open.
“Mad at you? I’m not mad at you! That would imply that I feel one way or another about you, and I don’t.” What the hell is going on…? I thought, trying to keep any hint of emotion off my face.
“Look, whatever she said, just forget it-”
“I already have! Now go away!” She tried to close the door again but I stuck out my hand, holding it open with ease. She groaned in frustration before giving up, allowing me to push the door open, following her into the small, square room.
She sat down in her chair, arms folded across her chest. “I just hate confrontations… especially the kind that I shouldn’t be a part of.” She said after a long while, softer and less hostile than before.
I nodded my head, taking the seat across from her. “I’m sorry about that, I’ll talk to her-”
She waved the idea away with her hand. “Don’t worry about, just forget it happened… that’s what I plan on doing.”
“Alright…” I said slowly. She grabbed some papers from a desk drawer and began to shuffle through them; I took that as my cue to leave. “Well, either way… I’m sorry she did… whatever she did…” I got up, moving towards the door.
“She’s using you, you know? She doesn’t even like you…” I turned around, shrugging my shoulders - this wasn’t something I didn’t already know. “Your money… and the celebrity, that’s all she wants… I just, thought you should know.” She finished sympathetically, staring up at me with pity in her eyes.
“I know.” I said simply, my anger growing as she stared at me; watching me like she was somehow better than I was.
The compassion on her face changed into disbelief. “You know? Then why are you still with her?”
“Why do you care?” I asked bluntly, not waiting for her answer as I headed back out the door.
I hit the volleyball high in the air, sending it sailing towards Semi. He spiked it down and I dove for it; colliding Brash as we hit the cement floor. “I called that one Ovie…” Brash complained. “Where’s your head at?”
I got off the ground and glanced around; everyone was looking back at me. I knew what they were all thinking - something was off - that’s because, something was off.
I never played like this, ever. The match of volleyball we played before each game was just for fun; something to get the blood flowing and our bodies working together. If there was anyone on the team who didn’t take it seriously enough, it was me. Not today though.
I couldn’t pay attention to what anyone was saying, and I couldn’t help but let my anger out on the small white ball.
Giving up completely after another brutal screw-up on my part, I shook my head and jogged off towards the locker room. “Ovie… Ovie man, wait up.”
I came to a complete stop, groaning as I waited for Mike to catch up. “What’s going on, are you alright?”
“Yah. Why?” I snap, grinning slightly as he started to laugh at the irony in my retort.
He moved around until he was standing in front of me, looking very much like a mother-hen; his disapproving gaze causing me to roll my eyes. “Just a bad day… nothing to worry about.” When his stare didn’t let up I exhaled loudly and continued. “Masha got up in Jespin’s face I guess… I don’t know. I tried to apologise and she told me that Masha was using me, then I left.”
“Okay first off, you apologised for something? Holy shit! And no offence man but, the only reason I didn’t tell you Masha was a money grabbing skank was cause I thought you already knew…”
“I did… I do…” I said, trying to end this conversation; it had gotten extremely close to reaching a place I didn‘t want it to go; back to Jespin.
“Well… then why are you so pissed off?” I shrugged as nonchalantly as I could, finally pushing past Mike and heading towards the locker room. “Ovie!” Mike called again from behind me, this time I ignored him; he couldn’t help me with anything so, there was no point talking to him about it. I don’t have a clue what’s going on myself, how am I suppose to explain it to someone else?
Who was she to think that I needed her pity? Her sympathy? No matter what I did someone was always getting their panties in a bunch over it; and I was just plain sick of it. Don Cherry thinks I celebrate wrong. Players think score goals wrong. Caps management has a problem with my driving ability… we made it under the fucking door! No one died!
I guess that’s the problem with being bigger than life; everything you touch becomes newsworthy, something for people to talk about… again and again.
I spat out a string of profanities, slamming my hand against the wall as I thought about Jes again; replaying our conversation in my head.
It didn’t matter what she had said; I saw how angry she was, upset over the whole thing. It just didn’t make sense. I tried the ‘notoriety’ act, I tried the ‘showering with gifts’ sham; none of it worked… she didn’t want the money or the name, so why the hell was she so mad at me?
I spun around, lashing out at the nearest thing. A swift kick sent the first aid kick spiralling across the locker room, smashing into the wall; it’s contents spilling out everywhere.
If she doesn’t care about any of it then why should it matter? Why does she care how I spend my money, or how Masha spends it?
There’s got to be something more to this! Maybe she isn’t mad about that, maybe she’s mad about Masha. She did seem pretty upset when she saw us together… no, that’s not it either.
I tried the ‘nice guy’ thing too and it didn’t work.
Maybe… Ugh! Forget it!
I couldn’t bring myself to even consider other options; I was done. Finished. If Jespin wanted to be a confusing bitch than that was her problem; it had nothing to do with me. I’m Alex Ovechkin… I don’t brood over chicks.
Friday, November 27, 2009
#11 - Hey Jealousy
Hey Jealousy - Gin Blossoms(Cover)
“I’m sorry, your girlfriend?” I spat, taking a step back from him. I felt winded, like someone had sucker punched me in the gut. I knew I was over reacting; I had no reason to get this upset. I definitely didn’t like Alex, so it made no sense for my body to be responding like this.
My hands were clenched into tight fists at my side, nails digging into the palms of my hands. “Yah. What?” He looked so confused, like he honestly couldn’t figure out why I was so pissed off.
“Did you not just ask me out on a date?” I demanded, biting my lip as doubt started to take over. Maybe he didn’t mean it as a date… maybe he just wanted to be friends… Oh my God, it wasn’t a date. I’m a complete idiot!
Then why the ring? What kind of guy buys an expensive ring if he isn’t… UGH! Because he’s Alex Ovechkin and money has no meaning to him.
Alex raised his eyebrows, humour on his face as he appraised me. “You’re jealous of her?” He asked, smugness rolling of him in waves. Okay, maybe he did mean it as a date…
“No.” I stated incredulity. “I just thought she might be angry if she knew.”
He shrugged. “What’s it to her? She doesn’t care what I do.” Pathetic, I thought, not sure if I was referring to him or to her. I shook my head, turning on my heel and moving back through the maze of hallways. “Jespin! Wait!” He called after me.
“What?” I called over my shoulder, refusing to stop walking.
I heard him let out a frustrated grunt behind me before he jogged after me, catching up to me quickly. “I didn’t mean to make you mad.” He sounded sincere - not his words, but his voice - causing me to finally turn towards him, my anger melting slightly.
“It’s fine you didn’t…” I lied, trying to explain me rash behaviour. “I just don’t like when guys cheat on their girlfriends.”
I watched him mull my words over, finally nodding slightly once he decided they made sense. “Is it cheating if she doesn’t care?”
I chuckled slightly, starting to walk at a slower pace. “Doesn’t it bother you… that she doesn’t care?” He shrugged in response, keeping stride with me. “Well, if had a boyfriend and he was taking other girls out to dinner, I’d be pissed.” I added as an after-thought.
“You’re different than other girls though.”
I started to laugh loudly, venom still audible in the sound. “No I’m not! You apparently just date dumb girls…” Weird, I should be mad at him for being an ass, but she’s the one I wanted to punch…
“Hey Pittsburgh girl… you ready to watch your boys get rocked tonight?” I grinned at Mike as he came around the corner, bonking me lightly on the head with his helmet.
“I wouldn’t be so sure about that…” I quipped, earning a mock look of hurt from him.
“Don’t let anyone else hear you say that… you might end up getting shipped back where you came from.”
“Jerk.” I giggled, watching him hobble past me on his skates. I shook my head once he was gone, praying silently that the game would be quick and painless; for everyone involved.
I decided to head down the hallway towards the Pen’s walkway. I hadn’t talked to Sidney yet but, I figured it was time to find out where I should meet him after the game. “Where you sneaking off to?”
I sighed as Alex walked out to meet me. “Just running back down to the storage room,” I lied quickly, “why aren’t you getting ready to go out?”
“Few minutes left…” He explained, giving me a small smirk. I stood rooted in place for a few uncomfortable heartbeats before coach started yelling for the boys to get in the dressing room for the pep talk.
“Well bye!” I half yelled, glad for any excuse that got me away from Alex. It wasn’t even so much that I didn’t like him - he was actually starting to grow on me a bit - it was more that I always felt uncomfortable when I was around him. I wasn’t sure if it was because I could just imagine how angry Sidney would be about it, or if there was more to it. Something in the way he stared at me…
It wasn’t hard to get through security; they didn’t try to stop me, but they did give me weird looks - Caps employee running down the visitor hallways. I rounded the last corner, just in time to see the boys moving towards the ice. “Sidney!” I yelled, once he came into view, earning curious looks from almost everyone.
“Jes!” He grinned in response, causing a hold-up in the line when he stopped walking to embrace me. “I was wondering when I’d see you.” He whispered into my ear with a husky voice - the voice that should have sent shivers up my spin, but didn‘t tonight. He meant it to sound seductive, I could tell by the smile in his eyes; but it caused me to grimace - Alex’s face appearing in my mind for no particular reason.
“Hey guys!” I sighed, pulling away from Sidney as some of the other boys made their way over.
“I’d hug you, but… I think I’d lose all my self-respect if I touched a girl in a Caps shirt.” Max laughed, reaching out a big hand to ruffle my hair.
“Right, cause you have so much self-respect now.” Billy quipped, moving past us towards the ice. Max grinned in response, taking off after him.
I stood next to Sidney in silence as the rest of the team began filing out once more; until we were alone. “So, what’s the plan for tonight?” I asked quickly, knowing that I was running out of time.
“How about you meet us back here after the game? We’ll go grab some food and then head back to your place?”
“Alright, sounds good. Gotta go…” I added, glancing over my shoulder. Sidney scooped my up in one arm, pulling me against his fully geared chest. “Sidney…” I mumbled, trying to move away as his lips gently touched mine.
“It’s alright,” he assured me once he moved away, “no one saw.” I nodded mutely; that had only been part of my hesitation.
I finished up as fast as I could without drawing attention to myself. I felt like I was about to commit a murder, as I moved around the locker room - convinced everyone was watching me. Only one person was.
Alex was usually so focused on himself, it was almost unnerving to feel his eyes following me as I went about my work. I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised; thanks to these tight pants and low cut shirts - it was a wonder not all the guys gawked.
There was something else though tonight, something different; he wasn’t watching me with his usual smug buoyancy. There was uncertainty in his blue eyes. “Alright Ben, that’s everything right there.” I said quietly, handing Ben the folder of everything I had done tonight. He nodded, taking it from me and flipping it open.
“Ok… everything looks good. Got a date tonight or something?” He asked, smiling at me earnestly.
“Oh… no.” I said quickly, my eyes darting towards Alex for a quick second. Judging by the intent look on his face, he was listening. “Just going out with a friend.”
“A male friend?” Georgia chimed in, handing her own file off to Ben.
I bit my lip. “Yah…” I said slowly, trying to keep the colour out of my cheeks. “See you guys tomorrow.”
I didn’t look back as I headed out of the door, all but running down the hall towards Sidney. I wasn’t sure why I felt so awkward about the whole thing; I wasn’t really doing anything wrong - it wasn’t like I’d actual get in trouble with the organization for spending time with my father‘s team. I tried to remind myself of that as I sped towards the visitor’s exit. Ideas threatening the back of my mind, ideas I tried to ignore; ones that suggested I was feeling guilty because of new feelings and not my job.
I groaned as Jordan dived onto my couch, listening to the sound of it dragging against the hardwood; his weight moving it back a foot. Max jumped down beside him, followed by Gogo. “Come on guys! Don’t break anything, ok?” I pleaded, flashing Sidney a worried glance. “How did this even turn into an idea?”
He shrugged his shoulders, laughing slightly as the guys turned the Xbox on; already fighting over teams for NHL. “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure everything’s in one piece when we leave tomorrow.”
I nodded in thanks, heading towards the storage closet and pulling out a couple sleeping bags.
“Two of you are gonna have to use these, the other can have the couch.” I yelled at them, hurling the sleeping bags in their direction.
“What’s that?” Sidney asked, coming up beside me and grabbing my hand. His thumb traced around Alex’s ring, causing my heart rate to accelerate.
“Oh, just a ring…”
“I’ve never seen it before.” He said thoughtfully, “Is it new?”
I nodded slowly, staring down at the shiny, expensive ring that was firmly nestled on my right hand. “Yah it is. I just got it the other day… it was a gift”
He chuckled slightly, “That makes more sense, for a second there I was worried. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you wear anything so flamboyant… it’s huge!” I narrowed my eyes, pulling my hand back. “Who‘s it from?” He added, looking up at me.
“Mom.“ I lied quickly, feeling my face turn a dark shade of read. “And there’s nothing wrong with it… I happen to like it, a lot.” I snapped, clutching my right hand against my chest.
Sidney looked up at me, apologetic. “Sorry… I didn’t mean- it’s just not something I would have imagined you wearing. The things you wear are usually so much more… modest.” He said slowly, trying to be extra careful with his words.
“It’s fine… I’m sorry for snapping. It’s been a long day.” I explained quietly, shaking my head slightly as I dropped my hands back down to my sides. He shrugged, giving me a lopsided grin.
“Well, maybe we should get you to bed then…” He said softly, placing a hand on my lower back and moving me towards the stairs. I felt my mouth drop open slight; I can’t sleep with him again… I thought fearfully, trying to figure out how to avoid that scenario without hurting his feelings.
He chuckled, misinterpreting my expression. “Don’t worry… I promise they won’t hear anything.” He whispered into my neck, his tongue moving up towards my ear. I swallowed hard as he pulled back, staring up at him with pleading eyes. “I promise.” He said again, grabbing onto my hand firmly and dragging me up the stairs behind him.
“I’m sorry, your girlfriend?” I spat, taking a step back from him. I felt winded, like someone had sucker punched me in the gut. I knew I was over reacting; I had no reason to get this upset. I definitely didn’t like Alex, so it made no sense for my body to be responding like this.
My hands were clenched into tight fists at my side, nails digging into the palms of my hands. “Yah. What?” He looked so confused, like he honestly couldn’t figure out why I was so pissed off.
“Did you not just ask me out on a date?” I demanded, biting my lip as doubt started to take over. Maybe he didn’t mean it as a date… maybe he just wanted to be friends… Oh my God, it wasn’t a date. I’m a complete idiot!
Then why the ring? What kind of guy buys an expensive ring if he isn’t… UGH! Because he’s Alex Ovechkin and money has no meaning to him.
Alex raised his eyebrows, humour on his face as he appraised me. “You’re jealous of her?” He asked, smugness rolling of him in waves. Okay, maybe he did mean it as a date…
“No.” I stated incredulity. “I just thought she might be angry if she knew.”
He shrugged. “What’s it to her? She doesn’t care what I do.” Pathetic, I thought, not sure if I was referring to him or to her. I shook my head, turning on my heel and moving back through the maze of hallways. “Jespin! Wait!” He called after me.
“What?” I called over my shoulder, refusing to stop walking.
I heard him let out a frustrated grunt behind me before he jogged after me, catching up to me quickly. “I didn’t mean to make you mad.” He sounded sincere - not his words, but his voice - causing me to finally turn towards him, my anger melting slightly.
“It’s fine you didn’t…” I lied, trying to explain me rash behaviour. “I just don’t like when guys cheat on their girlfriends.”
I watched him mull my words over, finally nodding slightly once he decided they made sense. “Is it cheating if she doesn’t care?”
I chuckled slightly, starting to walk at a slower pace. “Doesn’t it bother you… that she doesn’t care?” He shrugged in response, keeping stride with me. “Well, if had a boyfriend and he was taking other girls out to dinner, I’d be pissed.” I added as an after-thought.
“You’re different than other girls though.”
I started to laugh loudly, venom still audible in the sound. “No I’m not! You apparently just date dumb girls…” Weird, I should be mad at him for being an ass, but she’s the one I wanted to punch…
“Hey Pittsburgh girl… you ready to watch your boys get rocked tonight?” I grinned at Mike as he came around the corner, bonking me lightly on the head with his helmet.
“I wouldn’t be so sure about that…” I quipped, earning a mock look of hurt from him.
“Don’t let anyone else hear you say that… you might end up getting shipped back where you came from.”
“Jerk.” I giggled, watching him hobble past me on his skates. I shook my head once he was gone, praying silently that the game would be quick and painless; for everyone involved.
I decided to head down the hallway towards the Pen’s walkway. I hadn’t talked to Sidney yet but, I figured it was time to find out where I should meet him after the game. “Where you sneaking off to?”
I sighed as Alex walked out to meet me. “Just running back down to the storage room,” I lied quickly, “why aren’t you getting ready to go out?”
“Few minutes left…” He explained, giving me a small smirk. I stood rooted in place for a few uncomfortable heartbeats before coach started yelling for the boys to get in the dressing room for the pep talk.
“Well bye!” I half yelled, glad for any excuse that got me away from Alex. It wasn’t even so much that I didn’t like him - he was actually starting to grow on me a bit - it was more that I always felt uncomfortable when I was around him. I wasn’t sure if it was because I could just imagine how angry Sidney would be about it, or if there was more to it. Something in the way he stared at me…
It wasn’t hard to get through security; they didn’t try to stop me, but they did give me weird looks - Caps employee running down the visitor hallways. I rounded the last corner, just in time to see the boys moving towards the ice. “Sidney!” I yelled, once he came into view, earning curious looks from almost everyone.
“Jes!” He grinned in response, causing a hold-up in the line when he stopped walking to embrace me. “I was wondering when I’d see you.” He whispered into my ear with a husky voice - the voice that should have sent shivers up my spin, but didn‘t tonight. He meant it to sound seductive, I could tell by the smile in his eyes; but it caused me to grimace - Alex’s face appearing in my mind for no particular reason.
“Hey guys!” I sighed, pulling away from Sidney as some of the other boys made their way over.
“I’d hug you, but… I think I’d lose all my self-respect if I touched a girl in a Caps shirt.” Max laughed, reaching out a big hand to ruffle my hair.
“Right, cause you have so much self-respect now.” Billy quipped, moving past us towards the ice. Max grinned in response, taking off after him.
I stood next to Sidney in silence as the rest of the team began filing out once more; until we were alone. “So, what’s the plan for tonight?” I asked quickly, knowing that I was running out of time.
“How about you meet us back here after the game? We’ll go grab some food and then head back to your place?”
“Alright, sounds good. Gotta go…” I added, glancing over my shoulder. Sidney scooped my up in one arm, pulling me against his fully geared chest. “Sidney…” I mumbled, trying to move away as his lips gently touched mine.
“It’s alright,” he assured me once he moved away, “no one saw.” I nodded mutely; that had only been part of my hesitation.
I finished up as fast as I could without drawing attention to myself. I felt like I was about to commit a murder, as I moved around the locker room - convinced everyone was watching me. Only one person was.
Alex was usually so focused on himself, it was almost unnerving to feel his eyes following me as I went about my work. I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised; thanks to these tight pants and low cut shirts - it was a wonder not all the guys gawked.
There was something else though tonight, something different; he wasn’t watching me with his usual smug buoyancy. There was uncertainty in his blue eyes. “Alright Ben, that’s everything right there.” I said quietly, handing Ben the folder of everything I had done tonight. He nodded, taking it from me and flipping it open.
“Ok… everything looks good. Got a date tonight or something?” He asked, smiling at me earnestly.
“Oh… no.” I said quickly, my eyes darting towards Alex for a quick second. Judging by the intent look on his face, he was listening. “Just going out with a friend.”
“A male friend?” Georgia chimed in, handing her own file off to Ben.
I bit my lip. “Yah…” I said slowly, trying to keep the colour out of my cheeks. “See you guys tomorrow.”
I didn’t look back as I headed out of the door, all but running down the hall towards Sidney. I wasn’t sure why I felt so awkward about the whole thing; I wasn’t really doing anything wrong - it wasn’t like I’d actual get in trouble with the organization for spending time with my father‘s team. I tried to remind myself of that as I sped towards the visitor’s exit. Ideas threatening the back of my mind, ideas I tried to ignore; ones that suggested I was feeling guilty because of new feelings and not my job.
I groaned as Jordan dived onto my couch, listening to the sound of it dragging against the hardwood; his weight moving it back a foot. Max jumped down beside him, followed by Gogo. “Come on guys! Don’t break anything, ok?” I pleaded, flashing Sidney a worried glance. “How did this even turn into an idea?”
He shrugged his shoulders, laughing slightly as the guys turned the Xbox on; already fighting over teams for NHL. “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure everything’s in one piece when we leave tomorrow.”
I nodded in thanks, heading towards the storage closet and pulling out a couple sleeping bags.
“Two of you are gonna have to use these, the other can have the couch.” I yelled at them, hurling the sleeping bags in their direction.
“What’s that?” Sidney asked, coming up beside me and grabbing my hand. His thumb traced around Alex’s ring, causing my heart rate to accelerate.
“Oh, just a ring…”
“I’ve never seen it before.” He said thoughtfully, “Is it new?”
I nodded slowly, staring down at the shiny, expensive ring that was firmly nestled on my right hand. “Yah it is. I just got it the other day… it was a gift”
He chuckled slightly, “That makes more sense, for a second there I was worried. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you wear anything so flamboyant… it’s huge!” I narrowed my eyes, pulling my hand back. “Who‘s it from?” He added, looking up at me.
“Mom.“ I lied quickly, feeling my face turn a dark shade of read. “And there’s nothing wrong with it… I happen to like it, a lot.” I snapped, clutching my right hand against my chest.
Sidney looked up at me, apologetic. “Sorry… I didn’t mean- it’s just not something I would have imagined you wearing. The things you wear are usually so much more… modest.” He said slowly, trying to be extra careful with his words.
“It’s fine… I’m sorry for snapping. It’s been a long day.” I explained quietly, shaking my head slightly as I dropped my hands back down to my sides. He shrugged, giving me a lopsided grin.
“Well, maybe we should get you to bed then…” He said softly, placing a hand on my lower back and moving me towards the stairs. I felt my mouth drop open slight; I can’t sleep with him again… I thought fearfully, trying to figure out how to avoid that scenario without hurting his feelings.
He chuckled, misinterpreting my expression. “Don’t worry… I promise they won’t hear anything.” He whispered into my neck, his tongue moving up towards my ear. I swallowed hard as he pulled back, staring up at him with pleading eyes. “I promise.” He said again, grabbing onto my hand firmly and dragging me up the stairs behind him.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
#10 - Surprises
Message From Your Heart - Kina Grannis
I was surprised at how happy I felt when I woke up the next morning. I was still tired, but it didn’t feel so bad as I scuffed my sneakers along the side walk, heading to school.
I had class all day, until 4:30; after which I could look forward to a long night alone.
The thought wasn’t a pleasing one but at least I was sure to get homework tonight - something to take up time once I started getting too lonely later on. I had also been informed by Ben that we were allowed to bring home some of the medical sheets and information to go over if we wanted; I figured that would make a nice addition to my evening line-up as well.
I met up with Keisha after my morning classes and we spent our lunch break eating lunch at a local café. She was animated, chatty and excited like usual as she droned on about the cute guys on the school’s hockey team - the team that had chosen her as their intern. “So what about you?” She finally grinned, taking a breath as she waited for my response.
“Oh… umm, it’s been pretty great so far!” I answered honestly, trying to not look guilty. Guilt? Why was I feeling guilt? “I’m off tonight but we have a game tomorrow night so… should be fun.” I was suppose to hate Alex, no, expected to hate him. He was Sidney's arch-nemesis, the bane of his existence... an egotistical maniac. There was more to it though... after spending time with him away from the ice; seeing Alex the human being - not the Alex formally known as Jesus on skates... crap, what did she just say?! “What?”
“I just asked who they play tomorrow… geesh, you ok?”
I nodded, grabbing at my bag and pulling out my Capitals binder. I flipped it open and fingered through the pages until I found the schedule. “...Penguins...” I mumbled, as my breathing accelerated and my heart began to hammer against my chest.
“Oh no! Think they’ll fire you if you start cheering for your hometown team?” Keisha laughed, reaching out her hand for my schedule.
I shrugged my shoulders, trying to remove the grimace from my face as I passed her the binder. I shouldn't be having second thoughts about Alex though; I shouldn't have even given him the chance to show me whether or not he was a good person. Sidney was like a brother to me - a confidant - I should have avoided Alex like the plague... Hmmm, maybe that’s why I feel guilty about having a civil conversation with Alex… my subconscious knows that Sidney's going to be in town soon…
“I was joking Jes… I don’t think they’re gonna fire you…” Keisha said slowly as she watched my reaction.
“Oh!” I said, realizing that I hadn’t said anything. “No, I don’t think that it’s just… probably not gonna be a good night.” Keisha started to giggle at my proclamation, completely clueless as to the real reason for my dilemma.
I headed straight to the Verizon Center after my last class, heading straight back to the offices. I passed Georgia on my way; who was mumbling something about over-time and a deteriorating social life.
I was still laughing over my shoulder when I reached out for the doorknob to my office; freezing when I felt something soft under my fingers. I glanced down to see a small green ribbon wrapped around the brass knob.
I reached out with both hands gently pulling it off - that was when I saw the ring. It was an emerald green stone set in a square bed of diamonds. My eyes grew wide as I slid it over the ring finger of my right hand, holding it up to the light and smiling slightly.
I spun around, looking up and down the hall for Sidney. Of course, it made no sense for him to have come so early, not when he didn’t play here till Friday. It also didn’t make any sense why I was so excited to see him; when just this morning I had been dreading the thought.
I gave up my search, fiddling with my ring as I headed back to my office. Sidney must have gotten someone else to bring it… I thought to myself as I turned down the last hallway.
Flopping down in the leather chair I pulled the ring off, flipping it over in my hands - there was something engraved on the inside of the silver band. Удача с вами… that doesn’t even - oh…
I gasped as I dropped the ring onto the desk’s mahogany surface. The scripture wasn’t in English, because the ring wasn’t from Sidney.
But it couldn’t be from… him… it just… can’t be… I rattled around in my head, trying to think of another reason why there was an expensive Tiffany’s ring on my door. It’s not for me! I thought suddenly, someone put it on the wrong door and I just got carried away… relief didn’t wash through my body, however. I sat completely still, unmoving; my eyes focused on the shiny emerald stone that was glimmering up at me. “Oh god…” I sighed at last, reaching out hesitantly to pick up the ring.
I held it up in front of me, allowing the florescent lighting to dance rainbows off the many diamonds facets; painting thousands of shimmering lights on the walls all around me.
“It’s for good luck.” A heavily accented voice explained for behind me as I shifted throw some papers in the filing cabinet.
“Sorry?” I asked, sighing slightly as I pulled out a few more folders.
“The ring.”
“Oh.” The two words stopped my wandering fingers, and I turned around to regard the man behind me.
Alex was leaning against the door frame, his arms crossed over his chest and an entertained smile playing at the edge of his lips. “Oh,” I said again, sheepishly dropping my gave down to the large ring that was still situated on my right hand. I should not be wearing this… “Thanks…” I said, slowly looking back up to meet his gaze.
He shrugged nonchalantly, tilting his head as he watched me a moment longer. He pursed his lips, his eyebrows drawing together in concentration as he thought something through. “I’m glad you like it.” He said finally, giving me one last look before he turned to exit the room.
“What does it mean?” I asked suddenly, causing him to halt his movement. He didn’t look back around at me, instead he pushed his hands into his pant pockets.
“It means ’good luck is with you’. In Russia, emeralds are suppose to bring good luck…”
I looked down at the ring quickly, blushing lightly as I ran my thumb over the large green rock. I looked back up, opening my mouth to thank him again; but he was gone.
I watched the people scurry around the back hallways, everyone rushing one way or another; completely consumed with their pre-game duties to notice me. It was good, it meant that I didn’t have to put on a fake smile for anyone, or try and look like I didn’t have a lot on my mind.
I was loosing my head; I was almost positive of that much.
Sidney had called last night and we’d talked for a while. He was still pushing the idea of a relationship; and I felt guilty every time I changed the subject.
I did love Sidney, I did, and I probably always would; but it didn’t feel like enough. Of course I thought he was cute - but it felt weird, strange - the more I thought about him, the more I thought about us.
Sidney had really been like an older brother to me, the kind of person I could trust with things, someone that would give me their honest opinion. Maybe that was all we could ever have though; maybe that was all we were suppose to have.
We had been in a platonic relationship for so long; it felt almost creepy, wrong to imagine something else. Of course I had allowed it to go too far before I realized this; and now I was too afraid to say anything.
Then there was Alex, and I didn’t - couldn’t - let my mind wander over that avenue. I was suppose to hate him. He was suppose to be my worse nightmare while I was here in Washington; but I found myself wondering about him more and more.
It wasn’t - couldn’t - be in an attraction sort of manner; I was positive it centered around the fact that I just couldn’t figure him out. What does he want?
The first couple days I was here he was a dick to me, but now he was going out of his way to act nice. No, not act nice; be nice.
The black cat? Okay, that was just silly and it wasn’t like he saved kids from a burning building or ended world hunger - but it had meant a lot to me that he helped; not only helped, but didn’t laugh at me either.
And then the ring? Does he like me, or what? None of it made sense.
Alex was a puzzle to me; like when you're writing a paper and you have that perfect word - right on the tip of your tongue - but you just can't find it, no matter how hard you try. Alex was that, that perfect word I couldn't figure out; he was making it impossible to focus on anything but him... I was fascinated, but his apparent fascination with me - and that was all. Once I figured out what he wanted, I'd forget all about him; I had to.
I sighed loudly, tring to forget about both of them, focus on my duties and the game; worry about everything else when I had to… only when I had to.
We won - or they won, rather - beating Philly 5-4 in a close, stressful three periods. I was glad it was over, glad that I didn’t have to stand with the rest of the medical staff, pretending that I wasn’t watching Alex; when I was.
The ring felt like it weighed a million pounds on my finger as I watched him skate around the ice. The feeling was accentuated by the idea of a giant neon light above my head that flashed ‘everybody look at me!’.
No one did, but as far as paranoia went; everyone knew.
I was in the storage room when Alex found me. “Did you bring clothing with you this time?” He asked pompously, his taut frame filling up the doorway.
“Clothing for what?” I asked, put-off by his patronizing tone of voice.
He sighed impatiently, “I thought we were going to Citronelle’s.”
I turned around and glared at him, “I don’t remember ever having that conversation… are you sure you don’t mean that you assumed we were going?”
He grunted at me impatiently. “So? What’s your point?”
I took a deep breath, trying very hard to not have a bitch fit. “My point, is that you can’t just assume someone knows what you’re thinking. And to answer your question, no, I don’t have clothes with me.”
I pushed past him, shaking my head as I moved off down the hallway. “Tomorrow night then?”
Tomorrow night. Friday night. The night Sidney will be in town… “I can’t.” I snapped, my retort coming out sharper than I had intended. I looked back at him, somehow feeling guilty. Guilty, when he’s the one being an assuming ass.
“Alright. Tomorrow day… want me to pick you up?”
“No.” I said quickly, my eyes growing wide. “Maybe some other time...” I added, turning around and walking off again before I could say anything else or make any more plans.
She was blond, tall, skinny and orange from tanning products. Her hair hung half way down her back, and swung when she giggled; which she did often. I took a deep breath, trying to ignore the basic instinct that was erupting from me; mainly, slapping the shit out of that fake bitch and then demanding an answer from him.
It was funny the difference in the way that they handled themselves. Sidney would never allow himself to be cornered by a scantly clad fan; Alex looked like he had no intentions of moving.
I shouldn’t care, whatever he wanted to do was his own business; plus it was Alex, not like it mattered anyway. So why am I still standing here?
All the damn hallways looked the same, so it wasn’t my fault I had gotten lost in them. Fate, however, thought it was be hilarious to send me down this one, and here I was.
I should have just turned around and left, but I was stuck standing, watching, waiting.
The girl was moving closer and closer and it didn’t matter to me, not one bit; but he just stood there, grinning. Is he trying to make me jealous? Trying to show me how much I'm missing out on? If he was than he was an idiot, because I wasn't jealous... not in the slightest.
She bounced up onto the balls of her feet, leaning in to wrap her arms around his neck; pulling him down towards her.
Their lips met and I felt my heart begin to rattle around my chest; demanding some kind of explanation, that didn’t matter - not one bit.
She murmured something to him in Russian and took off down the hall, glancing back over her shoulder to blow a kiss through her fake gel-infused lips.
Alex grinned back, turning around and heading towards me. He didn’t even notice that I was there until he was a few feet away. “Oh, hey.” he said in surprise, his grin widening.
“Who was she?” I demanded, unable to stop myself as the words shot out. Not that I care who she is, he can kiss whomever and whatever he wants... like my ass...
“Masha?” He asked, nodding back down the way the girl had just left. I nodded, not taking my glare away from him. “She’s my girlfriend.”
I was surprised at how happy I felt when I woke up the next morning. I was still tired, but it didn’t feel so bad as I scuffed my sneakers along the side walk, heading to school.
I had class all day, until 4:30; after which I could look forward to a long night alone.
The thought wasn’t a pleasing one but at least I was sure to get homework tonight - something to take up time once I started getting too lonely later on. I had also been informed by Ben that we were allowed to bring home some of the medical sheets and information to go over if we wanted; I figured that would make a nice addition to my evening line-up as well.
I met up with Keisha after my morning classes and we spent our lunch break eating lunch at a local café. She was animated, chatty and excited like usual as she droned on about the cute guys on the school’s hockey team - the team that had chosen her as their intern. “So what about you?” She finally grinned, taking a breath as she waited for my response.
“Oh… umm, it’s been pretty great so far!” I answered honestly, trying to not look guilty. Guilt? Why was I feeling guilt? “I’m off tonight but we have a game tomorrow night so… should be fun.” I was suppose to hate Alex, no, expected to hate him. He was Sidney's arch-nemesis, the bane of his existence... an egotistical maniac. There was more to it though... after spending time with him away from the ice; seeing Alex the human being - not the Alex formally known as Jesus on skates... crap, what did she just say?! “What?”
“I just asked who they play tomorrow… geesh, you ok?”
I nodded, grabbing at my bag and pulling out my Capitals binder. I flipped it open and fingered through the pages until I found the schedule. “...Penguins...” I mumbled, as my breathing accelerated and my heart began to hammer against my chest.
“Oh no! Think they’ll fire you if you start cheering for your hometown team?” Keisha laughed, reaching out her hand for my schedule.
I shrugged my shoulders, trying to remove the grimace from my face as I passed her the binder. I shouldn't be having second thoughts about Alex though; I shouldn't have even given him the chance to show me whether or not he was a good person. Sidney was like a brother to me - a confidant - I should have avoided Alex like the plague... Hmmm, maybe that’s why I feel guilty about having a civil conversation with Alex… my subconscious knows that Sidney's going to be in town soon…
“I was joking Jes… I don’t think they’re gonna fire you…” Keisha said slowly as she watched my reaction.
“Oh!” I said, realizing that I hadn’t said anything. “No, I don’t think that it’s just… probably not gonna be a good night.” Keisha started to giggle at my proclamation, completely clueless as to the real reason for my dilemma.
I headed straight to the Verizon Center after my last class, heading straight back to the offices. I passed Georgia on my way; who was mumbling something about over-time and a deteriorating social life.
I was still laughing over my shoulder when I reached out for the doorknob to my office; freezing when I felt something soft under my fingers. I glanced down to see a small green ribbon wrapped around the brass knob.
I reached out with both hands gently pulling it off - that was when I saw the ring. It was an emerald green stone set in a square bed of diamonds. My eyes grew wide as I slid it over the ring finger of my right hand, holding it up to the light and smiling slightly.
I spun around, looking up and down the hall for Sidney. Of course, it made no sense for him to have come so early, not when he didn’t play here till Friday. It also didn’t make any sense why I was so excited to see him; when just this morning I had been dreading the thought.
I gave up my search, fiddling with my ring as I headed back to my office. Sidney must have gotten someone else to bring it… I thought to myself as I turned down the last hallway.
Flopping down in the leather chair I pulled the ring off, flipping it over in my hands - there was something engraved on the inside of the silver band. Удача с вами… that doesn’t even - oh…
I gasped as I dropped the ring onto the desk’s mahogany surface. The scripture wasn’t in English, because the ring wasn’t from Sidney.
But it couldn’t be from… him… it just… can’t be… I rattled around in my head, trying to think of another reason why there was an expensive Tiffany’s ring on my door. It’s not for me! I thought suddenly, someone put it on the wrong door and I just got carried away… relief didn’t wash through my body, however. I sat completely still, unmoving; my eyes focused on the shiny emerald stone that was glimmering up at me. “Oh god…” I sighed at last, reaching out hesitantly to pick up the ring.
I held it up in front of me, allowing the florescent lighting to dance rainbows off the many diamonds facets; painting thousands of shimmering lights on the walls all around me.
“It’s for good luck.” A heavily accented voice explained for behind me as I shifted throw some papers in the filing cabinet.
“Sorry?” I asked, sighing slightly as I pulled out a few more folders.
“The ring.”
“Oh.” The two words stopped my wandering fingers, and I turned around to regard the man behind me.
Alex was leaning against the door frame, his arms crossed over his chest and an entertained smile playing at the edge of his lips. “Oh,” I said again, sheepishly dropping my gave down to the large ring that was still situated on my right hand. I should not be wearing this… “Thanks…” I said, slowly looking back up to meet his gaze.
He shrugged nonchalantly, tilting his head as he watched me a moment longer. He pursed his lips, his eyebrows drawing together in concentration as he thought something through. “I’m glad you like it.” He said finally, giving me one last look before he turned to exit the room.
“What does it mean?” I asked suddenly, causing him to halt his movement. He didn’t look back around at me, instead he pushed his hands into his pant pockets.
“It means ’good luck is with you’. In Russia, emeralds are suppose to bring good luck…”
I looked down at the ring quickly, blushing lightly as I ran my thumb over the large green rock. I looked back up, opening my mouth to thank him again; but he was gone.
I watched the people scurry around the back hallways, everyone rushing one way or another; completely consumed with their pre-game duties to notice me. It was good, it meant that I didn’t have to put on a fake smile for anyone, or try and look like I didn’t have a lot on my mind.
I was loosing my head; I was almost positive of that much.
Sidney had called last night and we’d talked for a while. He was still pushing the idea of a relationship; and I felt guilty every time I changed the subject.
I did love Sidney, I did, and I probably always would; but it didn’t feel like enough. Of course I thought he was cute - but it felt weird, strange - the more I thought about him, the more I thought about us.
Sidney had really been like an older brother to me, the kind of person I could trust with things, someone that would give me their honest opinion. Maybe that was all we could ever have though; maybe that was all we were suppose to have.
We had been in a platonic relationship for so long; it felt almost creepy, wrong to imagine something else. Of course I had allowed it to go too far before I realized this; and now I was too afraid to say anything.
Then there was Alex, and I didn’t - couldn’t - let my mind wander over that avenue. I was suppose to hate him. He was suppose to be my worse nightmare while I was here in Washington; but I found myself wondering about him more and more.
It wasn’t - couldn’t - be in an attraction sort of manner; I was positive it centered around the fact that I just couldn’t figure him out. What does he want?
The first couple days I was here he was a dick to me, but now he was going out of his way to act nice. No, not act nice; be nice.
The black cat? Okay, that was just silly and it wasn’t like he saved kids from a burning building or ended world hunger - but it had meant a lot to me that he helped; not only helped, but didn’t laugh at me either.
And then the ring? Does he like me, or what? None of it made sense.
Alex was a puzzle to me; like when you're writing a paper and you have that perfect word - right on the tip of your tongue - but you just can't find it, no matter how hard you try. Alex was that, that perfect word I couldn't figure out; he was making it impossible to focus on anything but him... I was fascinated, but his apparent fascination with me - and that was all. Once I figured out what he wanted, I'd forget all about him; I had to.
I sighed loudly, tring to forget about both of them, focus on my duties and the game; worry about everything else when I had to… only when I had to.
We won - or they won, rather - beating Philly 5-4 in a close, stressful three periods. I was glad it was over, glad that I didn’t have to stand with the rest of the medical staff, pretending that I wasn’t watching Alex; when I was.
The ring felt like it weighed a million pounds on my finger as I watched him skate around the ice. The feeling was accentuated by the idea of a giant neon light above my head that flashed ‘everybody look at me!’.
No one did, but as far as paranoia went; everyone knew.
I was in the storage room when Alex found me. “Did you bring clothing with you this time?” He asked pompously, his taut frame filling up the doorway.
“Clothing for what?” I asked, put-off by his patronizing tone of voice.
He sighed impatiently, “I thought we were going to Citronelle’s.”
I turned around and glared at him, “I don’t remember ever having that conversation… are you sure you don’t mean that you assumed we were going?”
He grunted at me impatiently. “So? What’s your point?”
I took a deep breath, trying very hard to not have a bitch fit. “My point, is that you can’t just assume someone knows what you’re thinking. And to answer your question, no, I don’t have clothes with me.”
I pushed past him, shaking my head as I moved off down the hallway. “Tomorrow night then?”
Tomorrow night. Friday night. The night Sidney will be in town… “I can’t.” I snapped, my retort coming out sharper than I had intended. I looked back at him, somehow feeling guilty. Guilty, when he’s the one being an assuming ass.
“Alright. Tomorrow day… want me to pick you up?”
“No.” I said quickly, my eyes growing wide. “Maybe some other time...” I added, turning around and walking off again before I could say anything else or make any more plans.
She was blond, tall, skinny and orange from tanning products. Her hair hung half way down her back, and swung when she giggled; which she did often. I took a deep breath, trying to ignore the basic instinct that was erupting from me; mainly, slapping the shit out of that fake bitch and then demanding an answer from him.
It was funny the difference in the way that they handled themselves. Sidney would never allow himself to be cornered by a scantly clad fan; Alex looked like he had no intentions of moving.
I shouldn’t care, whatever he wanted to do was his own business; plus it was Alex, not like it mattered anyway. So why am I still standing here?
All the damn hallways looked the same, so it wasn’t my fault I had gotten lost in them. Fate, however, thought it was be hilarious to send me down this one, and here I was.
I should have just turned around and left, but I was stuck standing, watching, waiting.
The girl was moving closer and closer and it didn’t matter to me, not one bit; but he just stood there, grinning. Is he trying to make me jealous? Trying to show me how much I'm missing out on? If he was than he was an idiot, because I wasn't jealous... not in the slightest.
She bounced up onto the balls of her feet, leaning in to wrap her arms around his neck; pulling him down towards her.
Their lips met and I felt my heart begin to rattle around my chest; demanding some kind of explanation, that didn’t matter - not one bit.
She murmured something to him in Russian and took off down the hall, glancing back over her shoulder to blow a kiss through her fake gel-infused lips.
Alex grinned back, turning around and heading towards me. He didn’t even notice that I was there until he was a few feet away. “Oh, hey.” he said in surprise, his grin widening.
“Who was she?” I demanded, unable to stop myself as the words shot out. Not that I care who she is, he can kiss whomever and whatever he wants... like my ass...
“Masha?” He asked, nodding back down the way the girl had just left. I nodded, not taking my glare away from him. “She’s my girlfriend.”
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
#9 - Strange
Good Morning - Chamillionaire
I turned around just in time to see Jespin walking through the locker-room doors. She was wearing the regular medical staff uniform - red jacket, white caps-t and black pants - but she looked different in it than the other girls.
Maybe it was because she wasn’t a stick figure or maybe it was the way her crow black hair fanned out around her shoulders; outlining her face and framing her chest. Whatever it was, I had to look.
Georgia came in after her, flashing me a grin. The girl was completely covered from shoulders to toes and she still managed to look like a whore; at least she was easy - that was the only thing she had going for her.
What was it, five… maybe ten minutes to get her out of those black sweats? Whatever it was, it wasn’t hard to do; then again it never was - I was just that kind of guy.
I never really had to try for anything, it all came naturally; women, money, fame, talent…
Jespin disappeared around a corner and I stared after her; she was such a strange girl. Really though, what kind of chick applies to the Washington Capitals because they want to work? Girls watch hockey, read about hockey and work with hockey because they want to bag a hockey player - not because they have ambitions.
Women with ambitions… I suppressed a snort as I shook my head; my eyes following Jespin as she came back into the room. “Hey you.” I shouted, snapping my fingers at her as she walked past.
“Are you talking to me?” Feisty. This girl should be crawling at my feet, not giving me attitude; although it was appealing - she was probably a biter. Screamer for sure. I grinned to myself as I thought about whether or not it‘d be worth the trouble to hit it.
Yes… I decided finally once she bent down in front of me; low enough that I had a clear view of her cleavage.
Without my prompting she went to work, her nimble fingers making quick movements around my knee, tugging the wrap in place. She didn’t look up at me once.
This whole situation was making no sense to me, I was Alex Ovechkin. The Alex Ovechkin; she should be foaming at the mouth just from being this close to me. Maybe she likes pretty boys? I grimaced, glancing away from her tits to Greener who was sitting on the opposite side of the room. At least that’d explain why they’d been talking so much today.
Of course Shannon, from upstairs, liked pretty boys too; and she put out on the first night.
That was the way it usually worked. The greedy ones wanted me; cause I had the name and the money. The pretty ones wanted the ’attractive’ guys, or so they thought; but they all came around to me eventually - sooner rather than later.
“Done.” She said, her voice edging towards relief as she stood up, moving across the room without a backwards glance.
“Hey Greener… what’s up with the strange chick?” I asked, walking up behind him as we lined up in the hallway that lead towards the ice.
“Strange chick?” He asked, eyeing me suspiciously. “What strange chick?”
I nodded over at where Jespin was standing; just out of earshot. “The new girl.”
“Jespin?” He asked incredulity. “Jespin’s not strange, and what do you mean ’what’s up with her’?” I signalled at myself, raising my eyebrows; he laughed. “She’s not trying to get your goods so there’s something up with her? Dude, she just wants to do a good job at her internship… nothings up.”
He rolled his eyes before moving past me. “You hitting it or something?”
“No Ovie… I’m not ’hitting it’… neither will you, if you keep that talk up. She’s not some puck slut that’s gonna get wet just because you cash a cheque.” I furrowed my brow in confusion; if she didn’t want the money and she didn’t want the name… then what the hell did she want?
“Oh my god Ovie…” Mike laughed, turning around to face me. “Just forget about her man… go back to your easy girlfriends, they won’t confuse you so much.”
He was mad about something; that was the only reason he was being so bitchy at me. Normally Mike and I got along great, but for whatever reason, he was getting pissed off over this girl.
He didn’t seem like he wanted her, otherwise he’d just say so; there was something else.
I turned around to where Jespin was standing with Georgia. Greener’s probably right… just forget it, too much work.
And if there was one thing I hated, it was work.
Two goals and two assists… not bad, but I wish it had of been a hat-trick. I sighed, pulling off my skates one at a time; trying to get as much off as I could, before the media came in.
I was shirtless - with nothing on but my hockey pants - when they finally came in. Swarming my stall the microphones were shoved into my face as the questions starting flowing.
I tried to answer them as quickly as I could, all the while watching Jespin go about her duties in the locker-room. I was antsy, even though I knew that the staff always had to stay late after the games.
“Hey, Jespin.” I saw her stop walking, her shoulders slumping slightly as she turned around the face me.
“Yes?” She asked, trying to sound civil as her eyes shot darts at me.
I teetered forwards, taking a few large steps to close the distance as she watched me. “It’s raining again… you want a drive home?”
Her face softened somewhat as she tilted her head to the side. “That’s alright, I’ll be a while longer anyway… thanks though…”
I shrugged, keeping my head high as I moved past her. A drive offer and she was already buttering up… this might be easier than I thought.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Taxi Homes - Ian Foster
I watched him move past me, his swagger matching the smug look on his face. I rolled my eyes at his back, my grimace returning. Cocky little bugger… I thought to myself as I continued down the hallway; making sure to move at a slow pace so that I didn’t catch up to Alex.
He’d been like that all day; and I could only assume that this was the way he was everyday - a dick. Sighing I turned into the intern offices, taking a seat behind the desk and preparing to finish up the task sheets I was given.
I mean who does he think he is? I understood that he was a hockey player and I understood that the people in this organization bowed down to him; that didn’t give him the right to stare down my shirt all night.
I didn’t realize how flustered I was until I began to slam the papers around on my desk. I tried to finish my paperwork as fast as possible; I needed to go home soon - it was late and I had class in the morning.
Once I finally finished I dropped everything off in the box on Ben’s door; sighing with relief that it was only midnight. I hurried down the deserted corridor, the sound of my footsteps echoing off the white walls caused me to speed up; I hated being alone. I especially hated being alone at night - maybe it was paranoia or maybe it was too many horror movies…
“Hey.” A man’s voice sounded from behind me. I jumped, screaming as I spun around.
“Jesus, Alex! You scared the crap out of me…” I shivered slightly, clutching my thin jacket around me tighter. “What are you still doing here? I thought everyone was gone.”
“Yah well, it started to down pour; figured I’d wait around for you.”
“That’s slightly creepy…” I mumbled under my breath as I started walking again. “Umm, you didn’t have to do that… I can a taxi or something.” I added louder, cursing myself for not taking my car with me this morning.
He didn’t bother answering me, instead he fell in step beside me. We moved towards the lobby, stopping once we reached the front doors. “I had them move my car to the front…” He explained, pushing the door open.
I took a step towards him, glancing up at the darkened sky that was pouring down on the sidewalk in front of me. “Ah, just wait here.” Alex said after a minute, letting go of the door and sprinting off into the night.
A minute later a large rumble sounded and something large lunged around the corner; hopping the curb and rolling to a stop in front of me, on the sidewalk. I rolled my eyes as I glanced at the SUV when the side door popped open.
I took a glance back at the Verizon Center, sighing as I climbed up into the cab. We rode in silence until I realized he had no idea where he was suppose to be taking me. “I’m on the other side of town…”
“I’m not taking you home… yet.” He smirked, his eyes reflecting the traffic lights as he stared at the road ahead of us.
“Oh.” I said, glancing away from him. “Well, where are we going then?”
He didn‘t even acknowledge that I‘d spoken. I pursed my lips and stared out the window. I wanted to say something to him, argue with him and tell him to take me home; but something told me it would be hopeless. “Here.” He grunted, pulling into two parking spots, and throwing the Hummer into park.
I glanced around, recognizing the restaurant at once; having been here a few times with dad. “Citronelle!? I can’t go in there!” I gasped, causing Alex to stop with his hand on the door, turning around to appraise me.
“Why not?”
“Look at me! I’m wearing sweat pants and a tacky red jacket! They have a dress code here…” I fumed.
He furrowed his brow; like the idea of rules didn’t apply to him, and it was foolish to even think about attempting to conform. “They’ll let us in…”
“That’s not the point. Even if they do… I’m gonna stick out like a soar thumb… look at me.” I glanced away, shaking my head in annoyance.
“I am.” He said softly, so softly I hardly heard him. I looked over at the driver’s seat, catching his eyes as he gazed at me, his expression one of dawning comprehension.
It was the deepest look I’d seen on his face since I met him; one that caused my face to flush fervently. He cleared his throat, like he was embarrassed, before saying anything else. “Where do you want to go then?”
I sighed and looked at the dashboard. “It’s getting late… I should probably just go home.”
He nodded, looking slightly put out. “Are you sure you don’t want to go in?” He asked hopefully, nodding towards the expensive, up-scale restaurant.
“That’s fine… I’m tired anyway… and I have class tomorrow…“ He nodded again, and I tried to figure out why I was coming up with so many excuses to go home.
I gave him the directions, allowing him to drive me closer to my house than the last time. He pulled up to the curb a block and a half away, glancing around at the houses along the street. “See ya.” He said, giving me a small smile as I pushed the door open.
“See ya.” I echoed, jumping down onto the pavement and glancing up the street. I inhaled sharply as my body went ridged. Black cat… I whimpered, catching sight of the dark feline sitting in the middle of the sidewalk.
“Problem?” Alex asked. I realized then that I was still standing in the opened door.
“Umm… no…” I said softly, my voice shaking as I gently closed the door. Without the huge armoured door in front of me I felt exposed and vulnerable.
I was so focused on the yellow eyes that were staring into me, I didn’t even notice Alex had joined me on the sidewalk. “Superstitious?”
I sighed, tearing my eyes away from the bad luck omen to glance at him. Great… I get enough jibes from Sidney… Sure, it was ok for him to have his hockey superstitions, but mine were just plain foolish… “Yah… a bit…”
“Me too… here watch.” Alex squatted down, placing his hand out in front of him; rubbing his fingers together.
I stifled slightly as the cat stood up, trotting towards us quietly. Alex gave it a gently pat on the head before reaching out with both hands to stroke the feline; earning a purr in the process.
The cat laid down and Alex smiled up at me. “You’re good now.” I stared at him, confusion clouding my face. “The superstition of black cats being bad luck isn’t true, they’re actually lucky. See, if a black cat walks towards you, it means he’s bringing you good luck… if he walks away from you, then he’s taking it back. He walked towards you, so you’re fine.”
A smile played at the edge of my lips as Alex looked down at the cat. I tilted my head, mulling over what he’d just said. “Umm… thanks for that… and for not laughing.” I said, biting my lip; unsure of what else to say. “I guess I’ll see you in a couple days.”
He looked back up and nodded as I walked past him, heading down the sidewalk towards my loft. We’ll… that was strange.
I turned around just in time to see Jespin walking through the locker-room doors. She was wearing the regular medical staff uniform - red jacket, white caps-t and black pants - but she looked different in it than the other girls.
Maybe it was because she wasn’t a stick figure or maybe it was the way her crow black hair fanned out around her shoulders; outlining her face and framing her chest. Whatever it was, I had to look.
Georgia came in after her, flashing me a grin. The girl was completely covered from shoulders to toes and she still managed to look like a whore; at least she was easy - that was the only thing she had going for her.
What was it, five… maybe ten minutes to get her out of those black sweats? Whatever it was, it wasn’t hard to do; then again it never was - I was just that kind of guy.
I never really had to try for anything, it all came naturally; women, money, fame, talent…
Jespin disappeared around a corner and I stared after her; she was such a strange girl. Really though, what kind of chick applies to the Washington Capitals because they want to work? Girls watch hockey, read about hockey and work with hockey because they want to bag a hockey player - not because they have ambitions.
Women with ambitions… I suppressed a snort as I shook my head; my eyes following Jespin as she came back into the room. “Hey you.” I shouted, snapping my fingers at her as she walked past.
“Are you talking to me?” Feisty. This girl should be crawling at my feet, not giving me attitude; although it was appealing - she was probably a biter. Screamer for sure. I grinned to myself as I thought about whether or not it‘d be worth the trouble to hit it.
Yes… I decided finally once she bent down in front of me; low enough that I had a clear view of her cleavage.
Without my prompting she went to work, her nimble fingers making quick movements around my knee, tugging the wrap in place. She didn’t look up at me once.
This whole situation was making no sense to me, I was Alex Ovechkin. The Alex Ovechkin; she should be foaming at the mouth just from being this close to me. Maybe she likes pretty boys? I grimaced, glancing away from her tits to Greener who was sitting on the opposite side of the room. At least that’d explain why they’d been talking so much today.
Of course Shannon, from upstairs, liked pretty boys too; and she put out on the first night.
That was the way it usually worked. The greedy ones wanted me; cause I had the name and the money. The pretty ones wanted the ’attractive’ guys, or so they thought; but they all came around to me eventually - sooner rather than later.
“Done.” She said, her voice edging towards relief as she stood up, moving across the room without a backwards glance.
“Hey Greener… what’s up with the strange chick?” I asked, walking up behind him as we lined up in the hallway that lead towards the ice.
“Strange chick?” He asked, eyeing me suspiciously. “What strange chick?”
I nodded over at where Jespin was standing; just out of earshot. “The new girl.”
“Jespin?” He asked incredulity. “Jespin’s not strange, and what do you mean ’what’s up with her’?” I signalled at myself, raising my eyebrows; he laughed. “She’s not trying to get your goods so there’s something up with her? Dude, she just wants to do a good job at her internship… nothings up.”
He rolled his eyes before moving past me. “You hitting it or something?”
“No Ovie… I’m not ’hitting it’… neither will you, if you keep that talk up. She’s not some puck slut that’s gonna get wet just because you cash a cheque.” I furrowed my brow in confusion; if she didn’t want the money and she didn’t want the name… then what the hell did she want?
“Oh my god Ovie…” Mike laughed, turning around to face me. “Just forget about her man… go back to your easy girlfriends, they won’t confuse you so much.”
He was mad about something; that was the only reason he was being so bitchy at me. Normally Mike and I got along great, but for whatever reason, he was getting pissed off over this girl.
He didn’t seem like he wanted her, otherwise he’d just say so; there was something else.
I turned around to where Jespin was standing with Georgia. Greener’s probably right… just forget it, too much work.
And if there was one thing I hated, it was work.
Two goals and two assists… not bad, but I wish it had of been a hat-trick. I sighed, pulling off my skates one at a time; trying to get as much off as I could, before the media came in.
I was shirtless - with nothing on but my hockey pants - when they finally came in. Swarming my stall the microphones were shoved into my face as the questions starting flowing.
I tried to answer them as quickly as I could, all the while watching Jespin go about her duties in the locker-room. I was antsy, even though I knew that the staff always had to stay late after the games.
“Hey, Jespin.” I saw her stop walking, her shoulders slumping slightly as she turned around the face me.
“Yes?” She asked, trying to sound civil as her eyes shot darts at me.
I teetered forwards, taking a few large steps to close the distance as she watched me. “It’s raining again… you want a drive home?”
Her face softened somewhat as she tilted her head to the side. “That’s alright, I’ll be a while longer anyway… thanks though…”
I shrugged, keeping my head high as I moved past her. A drive offer and she was already buttering up… this might be easier than I thought.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Taxi Homes - Ian Foster
I watched him move past me, his swagger matching the smug look on his face. I rolled my eyes at his back, my grimace returning. Cocky little bugger… I thought to myself as I continued down the hallway; making sure to move at a slow pace so that I didn’t catch up to Alex.
He’d been like that all day; and I could only assume that this was the way he was everyday - a dick. Sighing I turned into the intern offices, taking a seat behind the desk and preparing to finish up the task sheets I was given.
I mean who does he think he is? I understood that he was a hockey player and I understood that the people in this organization bowed down to him; that didn’t give him the right to stare down my shirt all night.
I didn’t realize how flustered I was until I began to slam the papers around on my desk. I tried to finish my paperwork as fast as possible; I needed to go home soon - it was late and I had class in the morning.
Once I finally finished I dropped everything off in the box on Ben’s door; sighing with relief that it was only midnight. I hurried down the deserted corridor, the sound of my footsteps echoing off the white walls caused me to speed up; I hated being alone. I especially hated being alone at night - maybe it was paranoia or maybe it was too many horror movies…
“Hey.” A man’s voice sounded from behind me. I jumped, screaming as I spun around.
“Jesus, Alex! You scared the crap out of me…” I shivered slightly, clutching my thin jacket around me tighter. “What are you still doing here? I thought everyone was gone.”
“Yah well, it started to down pour; figured I’d wait around for you.”
“That’s slightly creepy…” I mumbled under my breath as I started walking again. “Umm, you didn’t have to do that… I can a taxi or something.” I added louder, cursing myself for not taking my car with me this morning.
He didn’t bother answering me, instead he fell in step beside me. We moved towards the lobby, stopping once we reached the front doors. “I had them move my car to the front…” He explained, pushing the door open.
I took a step towards him, glancing up at the darkened sky that was pouring down on the sidewalk in front of me. “Ah, just wait here.” Alex said after a minute, letting go of the door and sprinting off into the night.
A minute later a large rumble sounded and something large lunged around the corner; hopping the curb and rolling to a stop in front of me, on the sidewalk. I rolled my eyes as I glanced at the SUV when the side door popped open.
I took a glance back at the Verizon Center, sighing as I climbed up into the cab. We rode in silence until I realized he had no idea where he was suppose to be taking me. “I’m on the other side of town…”
“I’m not taking you home… yet.” He smirked, his eyes reflecting the traffic lights as he stared at the road ahead of us.
“Oh.” I said, glancing away from him. “Well, where are we going then?”
He didn‘t even acknowledge that I‘d spoken. I pursed my lips and stared out the window. I wanted to say something to him, argue with him and tell him to take me home; but something told me it would be hopeless. “Here.” He grunted, pulling into two parking spots, and throwing the Hummer into park.
I glanced around, recognizing the restaurant at once; having been here a few times with dad. “Citronelle!? I can’t go in there!” I gasped, causing Alex to stop with his hand on the door, turning around to appraise me.
“Why not?”
“Look at me! I’m wearing sweat pants and a tacky red jacket! They have a dress code here…” I fumed.
He furrowed his brow; like the idea of rules didn’t apply to him, and it was foolish to even think about attempting to conform. “They’ll let us in…”
“That’s not the point. Even if they do… I’m gonna stick out like a soar thumb… look at me.” I glanced away, shaking my head in annoyance.
“I am.” He said softly, so softly I hardly heard him. I looked over at the driver’s seat, catching his eyes as he gazed at me, his expression one of dawning comprehension.
It was the deepest look I’d seen on his face since I met him; one that caused my face to flush fervently. He cleared his throat, like he was embarrassed, before saying anything else. “Where do you want to go then?”
I sighed and looked at the dashboard. “It’s getting late… I should probably just go home.”
He nodded, looking slightly put out. “Are you sure you don’t want to go in?” He asked hopefully, nodding towards the expensive, up-scale restaurant.
“That’s fine… I’m tired anyway… and I have class tomorrow…“ He nodded again, and I tried to figure out why I was coming up with so many excuses to go home.
I gave him the directions, allowing him to drive me closer to my house than the last time. He pulled up to the curb a block and a half away, glancing around at the houses along the street. “See ya.” He said, giving me a small smile as I pushed the door open.
“See ya.” I echoed, jumping down onto the pavement and glancing up the street. I inhaled sharply as my body went ridged. Black cat… I whimpered, catching sight of the dark feline sitting in the middle of the sidewalk.
“Problem?” Alex asked. I realized then that I was still standing in the opened door.
“Umm… no…” I said softly, my voice shaking as I gently closed the door. Without the huge armoured door in front of me I felt exposed and vulnerable.
I was so focused on the yellow eyes that were staring into me, I didn’t even notice Alex had joined me on the sidewalk. “Superstitious?”
I sighed, tearing my eyes away from the bad luck omen to glance at him. Great… I get enough jibes from Sidney… Sure, it was ok for him to have his hockey superstitions, but mine were just plain foolish… “Yah… a bit…”
“Me too… here watch.” Alex squatted down, placing his hand out in front of him; rubbing his fingers together.
I stifled slightly as the cat stood up, trotting towards us quietly. Alex gave it a gently pat on the head before reaching out with both hands to stroke the feline; earning a purr in the process.
The cat laid down and Alex smiled up at me. “You’re good now.” I stared at him, confusion clouding my face. “The superstition of black cats being bad luck isn’t true, they’re actually lucky. See, if a black cat walks towards you, it means he’s bringing you good luck… if he walks away from you, then he’s taking it back. He walked towards you, so you’re fine.”
A smile played at the edge of my lips as Alex looked down at the cat. I tilted my head, mulling over what he’d just said. “Umm… thanks for that… and for not laughing.” I said, biting my lip; unsure of what else to say. “I guess I’ll see you in a couple days.”
He looked back up and nodded as I walked past him, heading down the sidewalk towards my loft. We’ll… that was strange.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
#8 - Ovechkin
You’re So Vain - Carly Simon(Cover)
The obnoxiously loud sound, got closer and closer. “And… that’s Alex Ovechkin, of course.” Ben added, nodding towards the direction of the insufferable noise.
I turned around, only to come face-to-face with three people. Alex stood in the middle, with two blond girls on either side; shooting icy glares at me - the way only Russian women can. “Alex, no guests in the locker room during practices, you know the drill.” Rolling his eyes, Alex unwound himself from his ’guests’, moving past me towards his stall.
Pouting, the two women left, waving over their shoulders as the door swung shut behind them. “Alright Alex, I was just saying to everyone else - this is Jespin… Landry and James Dowling… our new medical interns for the year.”
Alex grunted, not bothering to look up as he went about changing out of his street clothes. “Hey Ben, can you send someone out here to help me with some wraps?” I turned towards the sound of the voice. A pretty red-head was peaking her head around the door, worry crossing her face.
“Sure, sure… hey Jespin, how about you go help Georgia and I’ll show James where the storage room is?” I nodded before following the red-head out the door.
“Thanks a lot!” She said once we were heading down the hallway. “We had a couple staff members leave so… it’s pretty busy… game days are gonna be killer.” She sighed as she pushed open another door with her back, leading me into the large examination room that Mike had taken me to earlier. “Normally this is where we do all the wraps and stuff, when guys want them, they’ll come in here… sometimes you gotta go find them though.” She laughed and shook her head, like something she said was humorous.
Shrugging my shoulders I followed her through the room and into a small hallway. There was a line of door; offices of some sort. “Intern offices.” She explained, “one of these will be yours… you’ll have to check with Ben though…”
She grabbed an arm full of red and white tape from a locker before moving back out into the examination room. “So, is it a requirement that the guys have to wear wraps?” I asked, unsure as to why they were making such a big deal out of something as trivial as that.
“No, but most people do when they feel a strain or are just coming off an injury. Start of the season most of them want to take the stress off something… getting back into the swing of things I suppose…” She trailed off as the door opened and a number of guys walked through.
They moved past us, laughing and chatting as they hopped up onto tables; waiting. I wrapped two knees while Georgia did an ankle and elbow.
She was starting another ankle when I approached her and she smiled at me over her shoulder. “Alex needs a knee wrapped, but he’s usually stubborn about it… we have no choice though, franchise player and all, the organization won’t take chances.” I nodded, sighing slightly as I grabbed an unopened wrap before heading back to the locker room.
He wasn’t hard to find. Standing in the middle of the hallway, talking five decibels louder than everyone else around him, he stood with his hands on his hips. He didn’t look like a hockey player, let alone a ’superstar’.
His muscles were deformed but small under the tight fit of his under-armor. I couldn’t help but compare him to Sidney - they were both suppose to be phenoms after all.
Alex stood a few inches higher, maybe twenty-five or thirty pounds heavier; but the differences were immense. Where Sidney was built and filled out, Alex was lean and taunt.
I slowed down my step, taking timid steps towards his back. I was nervous, but I wasn’t sure why; maybe I was scared of him being an asshole, maybe I was slightly star-struck. Either way, I moved at a snails pace until Mike noticed me. “Hey Jespin.” He said ginning at me, causing Alex to turn around for the first time.
I approached the two guys, trying to appear confident and sure. “Hey… ready for practice?”
“Who’s that?” Alex asked. He turned and directed his question at Mike, not at me; like I couldn’t answer for myself.
“One of the new medical interns… if you paid attention you’d know that.” Mike grumbled, rolling his eyes and shooting me an apologetic glance.
Alex turned back around towards me, looking me up and down, finally settling on a ’that’d do’ type of expression. “I don’t need that.” He snapped, pointing down at the wrap I held in my hands.
“Don’t be a dick Ovie, you know you have to.” Mike said giving him a shove in my direction.
Sauntering past me, he didn’t look back to see if I was following or not. He moved with poise and confidence, walking back to the locker-room like he owned the place; which in a sense he does, I suppose… that thought agitated me more than it should of.
He flopped down on the bench, nodding towards the floor. I rolled my eyes and squatted down as he extended his left leg towards me. I started to expertly pull the bandaging around his knee, trying to touch his actual skin as little as possible. “You’re a fan?” He asked smugly, leaning back and watching me work.
“Sorry?”
“You’re a fan of mine.” He repeated, this time it wasn’t a question.
“Actually no… I’m not. I just want to work for the NHL someday and I got to school in Washington so - this is the logical choice.” He tilted his head to the side, gazing at me hard.
“It’s alright… I won’t tell everyone else that I’m your favourite.” He said smugly, pulling his leg back once he saw that I was finished. “Not bad, needs work though.” He added as he studied my handiwork.
He rolled the black spandex back over the wrap before getting up. He stretched his leg out a few times and nodded to himself as he walked away from me; leaving me sitting on the floor.
“Wasn’t too hard on you, I hope?” Mike asked as he walked up beside me. “Ovie, I mean.” He explained further after I shot him a questioning glance.
“Oh, no… not too bad. He’s a little…” I tilted my head, grinning sheepishly as certain inappropriate words echoed through my mind.
“Yah.” He agreed smiling, not needing me to say anything out loud. They saw each other almost everyday; of course Mike already knew what he was like. “He’s a good guy once you get passed all the… pretence.” I nodded, trying to appear like I was giving him the benefit of the doubt; I wasn’t though, too many preconceived biases for that.
“Well, I guess I’ll see you on Tuesday… excited for your first game?” I asked, trying to hide the worry in my voice. I was still learning and after talking to Ben some more I wasn’t sure I was ready to take on such a large responsibility.
“Yah, should be a good time. Hopefully we’ll win it…” He added wistfully, and I couldn’t help but smile at the longing in his voice. “Anyway I have to jet… you need a drive somewhere? It looks like it’s gonna rain…”
I turned around and followed his gaze out the front doors of the arena. The sky was dark and overcast, covering the city in a dull, gloomy, grey. “No, that’s alright. It’s not too far, and I need to wait for Ben anyway…”
He nodded, giving me a goodbye smile before heading out the doors.
“See ya Tuesday.” I waved goodbye at his back, leaning against the front counter; waiting for Ben.
Ben gave me a schedule and some forms to give out to my professors at school; letting them know about absences and any conflicting schedules that could occur.
I clutched them against my stomach, under my shirt; trying my best to keep them dry as the rain pelted down on me. Of course I had my new uniforms with me, but I had them bundled up in front of me, trying to keep those relatively dry as well.
A car honked at me a few times from the road and I glanced over my shoulder at it. A yellow Lamborghini was rolling to a stop behind me; the rain bouncing harmlessly off it’s polished finish. The windows were tinted a midnight black; to the point where I couldn’t see who was inside.
I stopped walking and took a step towards it as the passenger side window rolled down. “Get in!” A man’s voice yelled to me from inside. I bent in low and looked in. Ovechkin… I groaned internally.
I thought about turning around and continuing on my way home; but decided against it. Muttering a few choice words about timing and people I would rather be getting a drive with, I climbed into the expensive sport car. Slamming the door shut I glanced over at the driver - who was grinning back at me. “Where do you live?” He asked, pulling the car back into drive and speeding off.
“Umm… just by the mall is fine if you don’t mind… I have some things I need to pick up.” It was a lie, but I was sure his overly large head didn’t pick up on that; the last thing I needed was for him to know where I lived.
I tried to keep my eyes on the windshield, and not on the greedy eyes that were traveling the length of my body. “So, you want me to wait for you… go back to your place after?”
He raised his eyebrows at me and my mouth fell open. No one is that full of it… it’s not possible… as I stared at him; I realized that it was possible. No, not just possible… positive.
“Umm, no. No thanks. See you Tuesday…” I sighed, reaching for the handle as we came to a stop in front of the mall.
“Alright, you can make it up to me after the game.”
I froze, turning around to stare at him. “I’m sorry, make what up to you?” I snapped; un-freakin-believable…
“That.” He said pointing at the seat behind me. “You got the leather wet. Don‘t worry though, you weren‘t the first” He smirked to himself, grinning at his sexual innuendo.
I sat still, staring at him for another full minute before I got out of the car, slamming the door shut behind me.
I took off in the opposite direction of the mall, not caring that he was most likely still watching me.
I splashed through the puddles, realizing that my new sneakers were probably destroyed; I didn’t care. What’s a ruined pair of sneakers if it means less time with him?
It wasn’t like I should have expected anything different. The guys had always told me he was the most arrogant, superficial person on the ice; I had always assumed that they were exaggerating, but now I knew.
Now I knew for sure that Alex Ovechkin was just as horrible as everyone said.
The obnoxiously loud sound, got closer and closer. “And… that’s Alex Ovechkin, of course.” Ben added, nodding towards the direction of the insufferable noise.
I turned around, only to come face-to-face with three people. Alex stood in the middle, with two blond girls on either side; shooting icy glares at me - the way only Russian women can. “Alex, no guests in the locker room during practices, you know the drill.” Rolling his eyes, Alex unwound himself from his ’guests’, moving past me towards his stall.
Pouting, the two women left, waving over their shoulders as the door swung shut behind them. “Alright Alex, I was just saying to everyone else - this is Jespin… Landry and James Dowling… our new medical interns for the year.”
Alex grunted, not bothering to look up as he went about changing out of his street clothes. “Hey Ben, can you send someone out here to help me with some wraps?” I turned towards the sound of the voice. A pretty red-head was peaking her head around the door, worry crossing her face.
“Sure, sure… hey Jespin, how about you go help Georgia and I’ll show James where the storage room is?” I nodded before following the red-head out the door.
“Thanks a lot!” She said once we were heading down the hallway. “We had a couple staff members leave so… it’s pretty busy… game days are gonna be killer.” She sighed as she pushed open another door with her back, leading me into the large examination room that Mike had taken me to earlier. “Normally this is where we do all the wraps and stuff, when guys want them, they’ll come in here… sometimes you gotta go find them though.” She laughed and shook her head, like something she said was humorous.
Shrugging my shoulders I followed her through the room and into a small hallway. There was a line of door; offices of some sort. “Intern offices.” She explained, “one of these will be yours… you’ll have to check with Ben though…”
She grabbed an arm full of red and white tape from a locker before moving back out into the examination room. “So, is it a requirement that the guys have to wear wraps?” I asked, unsure as to why they were making such a big deal out of something as trivial as that.
“No, but most people do when they feel a strain or are just coming off an injury. Start of the season most of them want to take the stress off something… getting back into the swing of things I suppose…” She trailed off as the door opened and a number of guys walked through.
They moved past us, laughing and chatting as they hopped up onto tables; waiting. I wrapped two knees while Georgia did an ankle and elbow.
She was starting another ankle when I approached her and she smiled at me over her shoulder. “Alex needs a knee wrapped, but he’s usually stubborn about it… we have no choice though, franchise player and all, the organization won’t take chances.” I nodded, sighing slightly as I grabbed an unopened wrap before heading back to the locker room.
He wasn’t hard to find. Standing in the middle of the hallway, talking five decibels louder than everyone else around him, he stood with his hands on his hips. He didn’t look like a hockey player, let alone a ’superstar’.
His muscles were deformed but small under the tight fit of his under-armor. I couldn’t help but compare him to Sidney - they were both suppose to be phenoms after all.
Alex stood a few inches higher, maybe twenty-five or thirty pounds heavier; but the differences were immense. Where Sidney was built and filled out, Alex was lean and taunt.
I slowed down my step, taking timid steps towards his back. I was nervous, but I wasn’t sure why; maybe I was scared of him being an asshole, maybe I was slightly star-struck. Either way, I moved at a snails pace until Mike noticed me. “Hey Jespin.” He said ginning at me, causing Alex to turn around for the first time.
I approached the two guys, trying to appear confident and sure. “Hey… ready for practice?”
“Who’s that?” Alex asked. He turned and directed his question at Mike, not at me; like I couldn’t answer for myself.
“One of the new medical interns… if you paid attention you’d know that.” Mike grumbled, rolling his eyes and shooting me an apologetic glance.
Alex turned back around towards me, looking me up and down, finally settling on a ’that’d do’ type of expression. “I don’t need that.” He snapped, pointing down at the wrap I held in my hands.
“Don’t be a dick Ovie, you know you have to.” Mike said giving him a shove in my direction.
Sauntering past me, he didn’t look back to see if I was following or not. He moved with poise and confidence, walking back to the locker-room like he owned the place; which in a sense he does, I suppose… that thought agitated me more than it should of.
He flopped down on the bench, nodding towards the floor. I rolled my eyes and squatted down as he extended his left leg towards me. I started to expertly pull the bandaging around his knee, trying to touch his actual skin as little as possible. “You’re a fan?” He asked smugly, leaning back and watching me work.
“Sorry?”
“You’re a fan of mine.” He repeated, this time it wasn’t a question.
“Actually no… I’m not. I just want to work for the NHL someday and I got to school in Washington so - this is the logical choice.” He tilted his head to the side, gazing at me hard.
“It’s alright… I won’t tell everyone else that I’m your favourite.” He said smugly, pulling his leg back once he saw that I was finished. “Not bad, needs work though.” He added as he studied my handiwork.
He rolled the black spandex back over the wrap before getting up. He stretched his leg out a few times and nodded to himself as he walked away from me; leaving me sitting on the floor.
“Wasn’t too hard on you, I hope?” Mike asked as he walked up beside me. “Ovie, I mean.” He explained further after I shot him a questioning glance.
“Oh, no… not too bad. He’s a little…” I tilted my head, grinning sheepishly as certain inappropriate words echoed through my mind.
“Yah.” He agreed smiling, not needing me to say anything out loud. They saw each other almost everyday; of course Mike already knew what he was like. “He’s a good guy once you get passed all the… pretence.” I nodded, trying to appear like I was giving him the benefit of the doubt; I wasn’t though, too many preconceived biases for that.
“Well, I guess I’ll see you on Tuesday… excited for your first game?” I asked, trying to hide the worry in my voice. I was still learning and after talking to Ben some more I wasn’t sure I was ready to take on such a large responsibility.
“Yah, should be a good time. Hopefully we’ll win it…” He added wistfully, and I couldn’t help but smile at the longing in his voice. “Anyway I have to jet… you need a drive somewhere? It looks like it’s gonna rain…”
I turned around and followed his gaze out the front doors of the arena. The sky was dark and overcast, covering the city in a dull, gloomy, grey. “No, that’s alright. It’s not too far, and I need to wait for Ben anyway…”
He nodded, giving me a goodbye smile before heading out the doors.
“See ya Tuesday.” I waved goodbye at his back, leaning against the front counter; waiting for Ben.
Ben gave me a schedule and some forms to give out to my professors at school; letting them know about absences and any conflicting schedules that could occur.
I clutched them against my stomach, under my shirt; trying my best to keep them dry as the rain pelted down on me. Of course I had my new uniforms with me, but I had them bundled up in front of me, trying to keep those relatively dry as well.
A car honked at me a few times from the road and I glanced over my shoulder at it. A yellow Lamborghini was rolling to a stop behind me; the rain bouncing harmlessly off it’s polished finish. The windows were tinted a midnight black; to the point where I couldn’t see who was inside.
I stopped walking and took a step towards it as the passenger side window rolled down. “Get in!” A man’s voice yelled to me from inside. I bent in low and looked in. Ovechkin… I groaned internally.
I thought about turning around and continuing on my way home; but decided against it. Muttering a few choice words about timing and people I would rather be getting a drive with, I climbed into the expensive sport car. Slamming the door shut I glanced over at the driver - who was grinning back at me. “Where do you live?” He asked, pulling the car back into drive and speeding off.
“Umm… just by the mall is fine if you don’t mind… I have some things I need to pick up.” It was a lie, but I was sure his overly large head didn’t pick up on that; the last thing I needed was for him to know where I lived.
I tried to keep my eyes on the windshield, and not on the greedy eyes that were traveling the length of my body. “So, you want me to wait for you… go back to your place after?”
He raised his eyebrows at me and my mouth fell open. No one is that full of it… it’s not possible… as I stared at him; I realized that it was possible. No, not just possible… positive.
“Umm, no. No thanks. See you Tuesday…” I sighed, reaching for the handle as we came to a stop in front of the mall.
“Alright, you can make it up to me after the game.”
I froze, turning around to stare at him. “I’m sorry, make what up to you?” I snapped; un-freakin-believable…
“That.” He said pointing at the seat behind me. “You got the leather wet. Don‘t worry though, you weren‘t the first” He smirked to himself, grinning at his sexual innuendo.
I sat still, staring at him for another full minute before I got out of the car, slamming the door shut behind me.
I took off in the opposite direction of the mall, not caring that he was most likely still watching me.
I splashed through the puddles, realizing that my new sneakers were probably destroyed; I didn’t care. What’s a ruined pair of sneakers if it means less time with him?
It wasn’t like I should have expected anything different. The guys had always told me he was the most arrogant, superficial person on the ice; I had always assumed that they were exaggerating, but now I knew.
Now I knew for sure that Alex Ovechkin was just as horrible as everyone said.
Monday, November 23, 2009
#7 - Say What You Need To Say
Say - John Mayer(Cover)
“Hello?” The familiar, comforting tone spread out over the phone line.
“Hey dad!” I said, worry thick in my voice. “Umm… are you busy?”
“No, just sitting in my office hun, going over some things with Dan.” When I didn’t responded he pressed; “Everything ok?”
“Yah… yah…” I said, false enthusiasm in voice; I wasn’t sure who I was trying to convince - him or me. “I was just calling to let you know that I got on as an intern…”
“Already? Jes, that’s fantastic! Did you get on with one of the school teams, or…?”
“Actually, no.” I took a deep breath, bracing myself for his reaction. “I got on with the Capitals.”
“The Washington Capitals?” His voice wasn’t angry; it was full of humour and disbelief.
“Yah… that’d be the one.” I laughed slightly, my voice leaning towards hysterics.
Pause. “Oh… well that’s great!” He said finally, unexpectedly. “I mean, if you’re in Washington, that’s pretty much the best team you can work for…” He chuckled slightly before continuing. “I’m not gonna lie, I’m a little surprised but… you’ll be all ready now for when you come home and start working here!”
I didn’t bother to argue with him; no sense reiterating the fact that I was never going to work for him. “Sure dad. Anyway, I have to get going so… I’ll give you guys a call later.”
“Alright hun, sounds good.”
“Oh and dad!” I exclaimed as an after thought. “Don’t tell Sidney ok… I’ll give him a call later tonight.”
Laughing he agreed, hanging up the phone and leaving me feeling slightly better. One down, one to go… I thought, trying to keep my mind off Sidney and his reaction as Ben came back into the room; waving at me to follow him.
“Alright not everyone is here yet, but I can introduce you to the ones that are…” Ben explained as I followed him down a back hallway. I knew we were getting closer; when the noise became louder and the air took on the familiar pungent smell of sweaty hockey boys.
“Ben! Ben! I need you over here for a minute…” A man yelled as he appeared around a far corner.
“Alright!” I he shouted back before turning to me. “I’ll just be a sec… wait here.”
I stared after him, mouth agape, as he turned around and strode off towards the other man.
All the feeling of confidence that had grown after my father’s approval, disappeared as I stood alone. I leaned back against the wall, trying to disappear through the concrete bricks. “Hey.”
The voice caused me to jump slightly as I turned to the left, looking for the cause. A boy stood a few feet away from me - shirtless - as he gave me a small smile. After spending so many countless hours watching hockey, I knew who he was instantly. “You one of the new medical interns?” He asked, pointing at the uniforms that I was clutching against my chest.
“Yah I am…” I smiled, trying to clam my nerves. This wasn’t the first time I had ever seen Mike Green in person, but it was definitely the first time I’d seen him out of uniform; the first time I noticed how smokin’ hot he was.
“Cool… I’m Mike Green… Greener…” He grinned, extending a hand towards me.
“Jespin… Le- Landry.” I changed quickly. “Jespin Landry.” I smiled back, taking his hand. I hoped he would ignore my stutter, chalking it up to nerves instead of my poor attempt at lying.
“So… you can wrap stuff?” He asked. I stared at him, unsure of what he meant. He pointed to his ankle.
“Oh! Yah sure…” I shook my head slightly. God I’m dumb…
“Awesome, stuff’s in here…” He explained, pointing towards one of the doors.
I followed after him, watching as he hopped up onto one of the tables, rolling up his pant leg once he was situated. I glanced around the room, spotting a pile of wrapping tape.
I grabbed one, moving back towards him. I pulled a nearby chair over, plopping down in front of him and patting my knee.
I was just finishing up when Ben came in. “Wow, you just get right down to work!” He said happily, coming over to admire my work.
“Yah sorry… I didn’t think it would be a big deal… I’ve done a lot of wraps.”
“Oh no, no worries. Looks good.” Ben said as he nodded, “alright Mike, get back out there.” Mike pushed himself off the table and headed out the door, turning around and giving me a small grin before disappearing around the corner. “So, you’ve found the supply room!” Ben explained, “first aid kits, braces, wraps, all that kind of things.”
He headed out the door after Mike, I hurried to keep up in his wake. “Down that hallway is the x-ray room… neck braces, stretchers… all that kind of stuff is down there.” He informed me, still moving quickly down the biggest hallway. “And this… this is the locker room.” He said, throwing open the swinging door and heading into the room.
It was almost full; or at least it seemed that way - some of the guys were so big they looked like they needed their own area code. I was use to people like Sidney, Marc, Kris; guys that could pass for a regular everyday person - well, minus Sidney’s thighs.
I stood in awe, looking like a moron. For someone who had grown up around pro hockey players, I was still caught off guard. I wasn’t expecting any less; they were the Washington Capitals after all… so who else would be in here? Even so, I could only stand mutely and nod as Ben went around the room, pointing to each guy in turn. “Backstrom, Mo, Johnny, Feds… you already met Green… Brooksy, and Schultz.”
They all nodded or waved in acknowledgement. “And guys this is Jespin… ahh…”
“Landry.” I threw in quickly, remembering the name I had used before. I took a sideway glance at Ben, he looked neither angry or confused; he just smiled.
“Alright boys… now I know you’ll do everything you can to make her feel right at home… but give her a few days before you start pulling out the stunts alright?” He asked, turning to each boy in the room; staring them down. “That means no paintball fights, no wrestling matches, no stealing the gator… and no trying to decapitate yourselves... Mike?”
“That was Ovie… not me!” He complained, shaking his head slightly as Brooks punched him on the shoulder.
“Either way… let’s not scare her away ok?” The guys nodded, semi-serious expressions on their faces; something that caused me to suppress a giggle. What am I getting myself into?
Ben was showing me around the locker-room when my phone went off. I glanced up apologetically but he told me not to worry about it.
I hurried into the hall before I answered it. “Hey Sid.”
“Hey Jes!” He exclaimed, and I could hear the grin in his voice. “How’s everything going?”
“Good Sid… really good!” I sighed, knowing that it was better to get the conversation over with as quickly as possible. “So listen… there was something I wanted to tell you… it’s hard to say though…”
“Well, go ahead babe, say whatever you need to say.”
“I got an intern job-” I said quickly, trying to finish my explanation before he got a word in. “-I’m working for Washington Capitals.”
“Oh… oh!” The line went silent after that, causing me shift back and forth on my feet nervously. “So… you’re working with Ovechkin?” He asked slowly.
“Umm… I guess so but, I’m working for a team not a person…” I grimaced, hoping he’d take that into consideration; it wasn’t exactly a secret how Sidney felt about the Russian sensation. “I mean, in Washington… it’s really the best that I can get-” I added quickly, repeating what my dad had told me this morning.
“Oh, for sure… yah… it’s great Jespin.” I could hear Sidney clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth as he ran my words over in his head. “Just be careful,” he said finally. “I heard Ovechkin can be a prick to work for… if he gives you a hard time… let me know, ok?”
“Sure Sid…” I said as I shook my head. Cause I’d tell him if he was mean to me? Did he seriously think I was dumb enough to do that? There was enough animosity between those two, to last several lifetimes, they didn’t need me adding fuel to the flame. “Alright well… I should get back. I’ll call you later on.”
We said out goodbyes and I returned my phone to my pocket with a sigh.
I was relived to say the least. Sure Sidney wasn’t happy but, it was a much better reaction than I had been anticipating.
I felt oddly buoyant as I headed back into the locker-room; having spent so much time worrying about Sidney, I didn’t actually get a chance to celebrate the fact that I had landed one of the most sought-after interns in Washington. “You good now?” Ben asked, his signature smile on his face. I nodded and his grin widened. “Good, good… the other intern is here so I thought I’d introduce you.” I turned around and saw James smiling at me.
“James!” I exclaimed, moving over to give him a hug.
“I’m really glad you got this too Jespin! I was kind of hoping I’d get to see more of you…” he trailed off, his comment causing me to blush slightly.
Luckily, for me, an insufferable noise interrupted the conversation before it could go any further.
“Hello?” The familiar, comforting tone spread out over the phone line.
“Hey dad!” I said, worry thick in my voice. “Umm… are you busy?”
“No, just sitting in my office hun, going over some things with Dan.” When I didn’t responded he pressed; “Everything ok?”
“Yah… yah…” I said, false enthusiasm in voice; I wasn’t sure who I was trying to convince - him or me. “I was just calling to let you know that I got on as an intern…”
“Already? Jes, that’s fantastic! Did you get on with one of the school teams, or…?”
“Actually, no.” I took a deep breath, bracing myself for his reaction. “I got on with the Capitals.”
“The Washington Capitals?” His voice wasn’t angry; it was full of humour and disbelief.
“Yah… that’d be the one.” I laughed slightly, my voice leaning towards hysterics.
Pause. “Oh… well that’s great!” He said finally, unexpectedly. “I mean, if you’re in Washington, that’s pretty much the best team you can work for…” He chuckled slightly before continuing. “I’m not gonna lie, I’m a little surprised but… you’ll be all ready now for when you come home and start working here!”
I didn’t bother to argue with him; no sense reiterating the fact that I was never going to work for him. “Sure dad. Anyway, I have to get going so… I’ll give you guys a call later.”
“Alright hun, sounds good.”
“Oh and dad!” I exclaimed as an after thought. “Don’t tell Sidney ok… I’ll give him a call later tonight.”
Laughing he agreed, hanging up the phone and leaving me feeling slightly better. One down, one to go… I thought, trying to keep my mind off Sidney and his reaction as Ben came back into the room; waving at me to follow him.
“Alright not everyone is here yet, but I can introduce you to the ones that are…” Ben explained as I followed him down a back hallway. I knew we were getting closer; when the noise became louder and the air took on the familiar pungent smell of sweaty hockey boys.
“Ben! Ben! I need you over here for a minute…” A man yelled as he appeared around a far corner.
“Alright!” I he shouted back before turning to me. “I’ll just be a sec… wait here.”
I stared after him, mouth agape, as he turned around and strode off towards the other man.
All the feeling of confidence that had grown after my father’s approval, disappeared as I stood alone. I leaned back against the wall, trying to disappear through the concrete bricks. “Hey.”
The voice caused me to jump slightly as I turned to the left, looking for the cause. A boy stood a few feet away from me - shirtless - as he gave me a small smile. After spending so many countless hours watching hockey, I knew who he was instantly. “You one of the new medical interns?” He asked, pointing at the uniforms that I was clutching against my chest.
“Yah I am…” I smiled, trying to clam my nerves. This wasn’t the first time I had ever seen Mike Green in person, but it was definitely the first time I’d seen him out of uniform; the first time I noticed how smokin’ hot he was.
“Cool… I’m Mike Green… Greener…” He grinned, extending a hand towards me.
“Jespin… Le- Landry.” I changed quickly. “Jespin Landry.” I smiled back, taking his hand. I hoped he would ignore my stutter, chalking it up to nerves instead of my poor attempt at lying.
“So… you can wrap stuff?” He asked. I stared at him, unsure of what he meant. He pointed to his ankle.
“Oh! Yah sure…” I shook my head slightly. God I’m dumb…
“Awesome, stuff’s in here…” He explained, pointing towards one of the doors.
I followed after him, watching as he hopped up onto one of the tables, rolling up his pant leg once he was situated. I glanced around the room, spotting a pile of wrapping tape.
I grabbed one, moving back towards him. I pulled a nearby chair over, plopping down in front of him and patting my knee.
I was just finishing up when Ben came in. “Wow, you just get right down to work!” He said happily, coming over to admire my work.
“Yah sorry… I didn’t think it would be a big deal… I’ve done a lot of wraps.”
“Oh no, no worries. Looks good.” Ben said as he nodded, “alright Mike, get back out there.” Mike pushed himself off the table and headed out the door, turning around and giving me a small grin before disappearing around the corner. “So, you’ve found the supply room!” Ben explained, “first aid kits, braces, wraps, all that kind of things.”
He headed out the door after Mike, I hurried to keep up in his wake. “Down that hallway is the x-ray room… neck braces, stretchers… all that kind of stuff is down there.” He informed me, still moving quickly down the biggest hallway. “And this… this is the locker room.” He said, throwing open the swinging door and heading into the room.
It was almost full; or at least it seemed that way - some of the guys were so big they looked like they needed their own area code. I was use to people like Sidney, Marc, Kris; guys that could pass for a regular everyday person - well, minus Sidney’s thighs.
I stood in awe, looking like a moron. For someone who had grown up around pro hockey players, I was still caught off guard. I wasn’t expecting any less; they were the Washington Capitals after all… so who else would be in here? Even so, I could only stand mutely and nod as Ben went around the room, pointing to each guy in turn. “Backstrom, Mo, Johnny, Feds… you already met Green… Brooksy, and Schultz.”
They all nodded or waved in acknowledgement. “And guys this is Jespin… ahh…”
“Landry.” I threw in quickly, remembering the name I had used before. I took a sideway glance at Ben, he looked neither angry or confused; he just smiled.
“Alright boys… now I know you’ll do everything you can to make her feel right at home… but give her a few days before you start pulling out the stunts alright?” He asked, turning to each boy in the room; staring them down. “That means no paintball fights, no wrestling matches, no stealing the gator… and no trying to decapitate yourselves... Mike?”
“That was Ovie… not me!” He complained, shaking his head slightly as Brooks punched him on the shoulder.
“Either way… let’s not scare her away ok?” The guys nodded, semi-serious expressions on their faces; something that caused me to suppress a giggle. What am I getting myself into?
Ben was showing me around the locker-room when my phone went off. I glanced up apologetically but he told me not to worry about it.
I hurried into the hall before I answered it. “Hey Sid.”
“Hey Jes!” He exclaimed, and I could hear the grin in his voice. “How’s everything going?”
“Good Sid… really good!” I sighed, knowing that it was better to get the conversation over with as quickly as possible. “So listen… there was something I wanted to tell you… it’s hard to say though…”
“Well, go ahead babe, say whatever you need to say.”
“I got an intern job-” I said quickly, trying to finish my explanation before he got a word in. “-I’m working for Washington Capitals.”
“Oh… oh!” The line went silent after that, causing me shift back and forth on my feet nervously. “So… you’re working with Ovechkin?” He asked slowly.
“Umm… I guess so but, I’m working for a team not a person…” I grimaced, hoping he’d take that into consideration; it wasn’t exactly a secret how Sidney felt about the Russian sensation. “I mean, in Washington… it’s really the best that I can get-” I added quickly, repeating what my dad had told me this morning.
“Oh, for sure… yah… it’s great Jespin.” I could hear Sidney clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth as he ran my words over in his head. “Just be careful,” he said finally. “I heard Ovechkin can be a prick to work for… if he gives you a hard time… let me know, ok?”
“Sure Sid…” I said as I shook my head. Cause I’d tell him if he was mean to me? Did he seriously think I was dumb enough to do that? There was enough animosity between those two, to last several lifetimes, they didn’t need me adding fuel to the flame. “Alright well… I should get back. I’ll call you later on.”
We said out goodbyes and I returned my phone to my pocket with a sigh.
I was relived to say the least. Sure Sidney wasn’t happy but, it was a much better reaction than I had been anticipating.
I felt oddly buoyant as I headed back into the locker-room; having spent so much time worrying about Sidney, I didn’t actually get a chance to celebrate the fact that I had landed one of the most sought-after interns in Washington. “You good now?” Ben asked, his signature smile on his face. I nodded and his grin widened. “Good, good… the other intern is here so I thought I’d introduce you.” I turned around and saw James smiling at me.
“James!” I exclaimed, moving over to give him a hug.
“I’m really glad you got this too Jespin! I was kind of hoping I’d get to see more of you…” he trailed off, his comment causing me to blush slightly.
Luckily, for me, an insufferable noise interrupted the conversation before it could go any further.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
#6 - Disaster
Same Mistake - James Blunt(Cover)
“Oh no! No! The best part of that whole fiasco… was when THIS guy thought he could dance!” Keisha laughed loudly, pointing at James, who sat beside her.
“What are you talking about? I can dance… you wish you could dance like this…”
I groaned along with everyone else as James stood up, moving over into the middle of the Chinese restaurant we were now occupying. “God, someone sit him down please!” Anna yelled, hiding her face as James started to attempt the robot, again.
The night had been a blast; pub, drunk people and loud music included. In fact, I couldn’t remember the last time I had laughed so hard. Now we sat around a corner table at the ‘Canton’, eating egg rolls and exaggerating stories from the school bar. “So Jespin, how was your first night out in the greater Washington area?” Keisha asked, leaning in to hear me over the laughter of Eric and Anna.
“Good… really good! Thanks for inviting me.” She grinned back, waving away my thanks as my cellphone began to vibrate. I pulled it out and looked at it. Sidney, again. I hit ignore and put the phone back in my pocket; Sidney was the last person I wanted to talk to right now. Sidney had been the only down point of the night.
I knew exactly when the game was over, cause it was at that point that the phone calls started. The first time I had answered, only to be wheedled into almost leaving the pub.
Guilty, he had actually made me feel guilty about going out with my new friends. “Do you want me to sit at home by myself until you come back to visit?” I had snapped at him, trying to figure out the motive behind being such an ass. “We’re not even together Sidney, and if you keep this up, we won’t ever be.”
It was then that Keisha had taken my phone and hung it up; before he could respond - and I was thankful for that.
He’ll get over it… I thought, trying to reassure myself as I climbed the stairs to my loft. Why is he being like this? It just… isn’t him… I sighed as I opened the door heading upstairs to crash on my bed. “Ugh…” I groaned as my phone began to vibrate. I pulled it out of my pocket and jogged up the stairs before answering it. “Sidney-” I started, when I cut me off.
“I’m sorry Jespin, please just listen.” He paused for a minute, waiting for a response. I didn’t reply, so he continued talking. “I know I’m being a jerk. I’m sorry… ugh…” He groaned softly, the sound tugging at my heart-strings, making me want to comfort him. “Look, it’s just that I’m confused about this… about everything. I’m not sure what I’m suppose to do and… I guess it’s just taking it’s toll on me.”
“It’s ok Sidney… I know. I’m sorry I stopped answering your calls… I just didn’t want to flip and say something I was gonna regret.”
“We’re kind of a mess aren’t we?” He asked slowly, his deep voice wavering slightly with emotion.
“Yah. What are we gonna do about it though?” I asked absently, not really meaning for him to take it as a literal question.
He sighed loudly, and I could just picture the look of determination on his face; the one he always got when he was faced with a problem. “We could make it official? Us, I mean…”
I groaned mutely, squeezing my eyes shut and wishing I could take my enquiry back. Here it was, the million dollar question, out on the table.
When it was stated bluntly like that - so black and white - it became crystal clear what I wanted; and what I wanted, wasn’t him. At least, not like that. “Sidney… I’m living in Washington now and I’m still just getting settled, I don’t think that I’m-”
“That’s a no. Don’t worry, you’re not hurting my feelings. I know that everything has turned upside down in the past few days… I don’t want to pressure you. We’ll just… take it slow, see what happens.” I grinned slightly, murmuring my agreement and my thanks. I yawned audibly, causing him to chuckle. “Anyway, I’ll let you go… have a good night Jes. I miss you.”
“I miss you too.” I said softly, flipping my phone shut and flopping down on my back.
I’m a disaster. I thought solemnly as I stared at the ceiling. A complete disaster... what is wrong with me?
Nothing made sense anymore. I wanted Sidney; or at least I should have. He was kind, funny, caring, loyal - not to mention beautiful. He was someone that I had been able to depend on and trust; someone that I should want to be with, more than anything.
There was obviously nothing wrong with Sidney - he was perfection incarnate - leaving the fault with me. “I’m so sorry Sidney…” I mumbled out into the darkness of my room.
He was right, of course; he was always right. The things he said made sense, and the picture he had painted - vividly - in my mind while he was here, still burned brightly. I could see it easily; how simple everything would fall into place if I just said yes to him.
If I just moved back home, made things official… everything would be perfect.
Almost perfect.
Things worked out whenever I was with him. He was safe. He was comfort. He was familiarity. Everything with Sidney was logical and rational; but for some reason, that was my hang up.
People said that love, real love - the kind that people write songs about - is illogical and irrational.
It’s happy and fun and joyful. It’s unconventional and unplanned…
Things with Sidney would never be like that. He needed structure, plans, a goal. He couldn’t just let things be, or let something take it’s course; he needed to find a problem and make it better - take something and become the best at it. I could only hope that he’d spontaneously get over these feelings - but then again, Sidney also never gave up on anything, ever.
I sat quietly in one of the many plush chairs that lined the hallway. I was exhausted, dead where I sat. Last night had been one of the longest nights of my existence.
I had always had a hard time being alone at night; and that, combined with the guilt and confusion I was feeling about Sidney - left me unable to do anything but toss and turn.
It was a surprise when I got a phone call the next morning from Ben, the head medical guy from the Caps; wanting to see me for an interview. I had dressed in a daze, before walking the eight blocks to the Verizon Centre; and now here I sat.
I should have been a lot more nervous than I was, but my brain was too numb with remorse to make room for any other emotion. I sat patently, not minding the wait; better to be here than at home alone, I thought sadly.
“Jespin?” A woman asked, coming around the corner and smiling at me. I stood up in response and she motioned for me to follow her. “He’s right in there.” She said, pointing at a partially opened office door.
“Hi Jespin! Glad you could make it on such short notice… sorry about the wait.” Ben added as he greeted me, closing the door before taking his seat again, behind the desk. “So… after going over the applications that we’ve received so far, we decided that we wanted to take on two interns this year. We were interested in talking to you about that, discussing whether or not you still wanted to be part of our organization…” He stared at me expectantly, waiting.
“Oh… umm… of course!” I smiled, trying to hide the surprise and fear that was now over-powering the guilt inside me. I had assumed this would be an interview, something that ended with a ’we’ll give you a call later’. I was expecting to have time to go home and think about this, talk it over with Dad - and Sidney… my mind added reluctantly.
“Surprised?” He asked, his smile widening as he grabbed a few papers from a desk drawer. “We like to get interns right away, train them, then hope that they stay with the organization. You had a lot of experience already with other hockey teams and your grades are excellent. There isn’t a whole lot I can really ask you yet, you’ve only had one week of classes so far… I promise you’ll be fine though. We have a great medical staff here and they’re always willing to help out.” He held out some papers to me, sounding so fatherly and reassuring, that I couldn’t help but believe him.
“That sounds great…” I nodded slowly, reaching out to take the papers from him.
“Alright, those are some forms I need you to fill out and this is a booklet, give you a little bit of background information and so on… if you have any questions, my number is on the back.” He handed me a thick binder, full of sheets. “I was meaning to ask you… Lemieux… I saw you had some volunteering with the Penguins organization; you’re not any relation to Mario are you?”
“Yah, actually… he’s my father.”
“Oh!” Ben exclaimed, leaning back into his seat. “Well, that sure is something. You must be very proud of him! Wait till the guys find out about that…” He smiled to himself, moving to get up.
“Actually.” I said quickly, causing him to freeze into place. I furrowed my brow, trying to find a way to explain this to my new boss. “Would it be possible… if… you didn’t tell them?” He stared at me, confusion evident on his face. “It’s just… it might be awkward…” I made-up quickly. “If they know I’m Mario Lemieux’s daughter, it’d make me feel really insecure… like they’d be expecting something from me…” I sighed, not sure if he’d believe me or not.
“I guess that makes sense, hard name to live up to.” He chuckled, flashing me his fatherly smile again. “That won’t be a problem, our little secret.” He finished, nodding for me to follow him.
“Samantha, this is Jespin… she’s our newest medical intern. Do you mind find her some uniforms?” The brunette behind the desk - Samantha - nodded.
She looked me up and down, “medium?” I nodded at her, before she turned around and headed into a backroom.
“Alright, when she gets back I’ll take you downstairs and show you where you’ll be working from… introduce you to the guys.” Ben said, oblivious to the wide-eyed shock that was now crossing my face.
The guys? Of course… how could I forget about that? I looked away and grimaced, this job was going to be great, I had to keep reminding myself that. It was a great opportunity and really, how bad could this be? If I went into it with a positive attitude then everything would be perfect, almost perfect.
“Oh no! No! The best part of that whole fiasco… was when THIS guy thought he could dance!” Keisha laughed loudly, pointing at James, who sat beside her.
“What are you talking about? I can dance… you wish you could dance like this…”
I groaned along with everyone else as James stood up, moving over into the middle of the Chinese restaurant we were now occupying. “God, someone sit him down please!” Anna yelled, hiding her face as James started to attempt the robot, again.
The night had been a blast; pub, drunk people and loud music included. In fact, I couldn’t remember the last time I had laughed so hard. Now we sat around a corner table at the ‘Canton’, eating egg rolls and exaggerating stories from the school bar. “So Jespin, how was your first night out in the greater Washington area?” Keisha asked, leaning in to hear me over the laughter of Eric and Anna.
“Good… really good! Thanks for inviting me.” She grinned back, waving away my thanks as my cellphone began to vibrate. I pulled it out and looked at it. Sidney, again. I hit ignore and put the phone back in my pocket; Sidney was the last person I wanted to talk to right now. Sidney had been the only down point of the night.
I knew exactly when the game was over, cause it was at that point that the phone calls started. The first time I had answered, only to be wheedled into almost leaving the pub.
Guilty, he had actually made me feel guilty about going out with my new friends. “Do you want me to sit at home by myself until you come back to visit?” I had snapped at him, trying to figure out the motive behind being such an ass. “We’re not even together Sidney, and if you keep this up, we won’t ever be.”
It was then that Keisha had taken my phone and hung it up; before he could respond - and I was thankful for that.
He’ll get over it… I thought, trying to reassure myself as I climbed the stairs to my loft. Why is he being like this? It just… isn’t him… I sighed as I opened the door heading upstairs to crash on my bed. “Ugh…” I groaned as my phone began to vibrate. I pulled it out of my pocket and jogged up the stairs before answering it. “Sidney-” I started, when I cut me off.
“I’m sorry Jespin, please just listen.” He paused for a minute, waiting for a response. I didn’t reply, so he continued talking. “I know I’m being a jerk. I’m sorry… ugh…” He groaned softly, the sound tugging at my heart-strings, making me want to comfort him. “Look, it’s just that I’m confused about this… about everything. I’m not sure what I’m suppose to do and… I guess it’s just taking it’s toll on me.”
“It’s ok Sidney… I know. I’m sorry I stopped answering your calls… I just didn’t want to flip and say something I was gonna regret.”
“We’re kind of a mess aren’t we?” He asked slowly, his deep voice wavering slightly with emotion.
“Yah. What are we gonna do about it though?” I asked absently, not really meaning for him to take it as a literal question.
He sighed loudly, and I could just picture the look of determination on his face; the one he always got when he was faced with a problem. “We could make it official? Us, I mean…”
I groaned mutely, squeezing my eyes shut and wishing I could take my enquiry back. Here it was, the million dollar question, out on the table.
When it was stated bluntly like that - so black and white - it became crystal clear what I wanted; and what I wanted, wasn’t him. At least, not like that. “Sidney… I’m living in Washington now and I’m still just getting settled, I don’t think that I’m-”
“That’s a no. Don’t worry, you’re not hurting my feelings. I know that everything has turned upside down in the past few days… I don’t want to pressure you. We’ll just… take it slow, see what happens.” I grinned slightly, murmuring my agreement and my thanks. I yawned audibly, causing him to chuckle. “Anyway, I’ll let you go… have a good night Jes. I miss you.”
“I miss you too.” I said softly, flipping my phone shut and flopping down on my back.
I’m a disaster. I thought solemnly as I stared at the ceiling. A complete disaster... what is wrong with me?
Nothing made sense anymore. I wanted Sidney; or at least I should have. He was kind, funny, caring, loyal - not to mention beautiful. He was someone that I had been able to depend on and trust; someone that I should want to be with, more than anything.
There was obviously nothing wrong with Sidney - he was perfection incarnate - leaving the fault with me. “I’m so sorry Sidney…” I mumbled out into the darkness of my room.
He was right, of course; he was always right. The things he said made sense, and the picture he had painted - vividly - in my mind while he was here, still burned brightly. I could see it easily; how simple everything would fall into place if I just said yes to him.
If I just moved back home, made things official… everything would be perfect.
Almost perfect.
Things worked out whenever I was with him. He was safe. He was comfort. He was familiarity. Everything with Sidney was logical and rational; but for some reason, that was my hang up.
People said that love, real love - the kind that people write songs about - is illogical and irrational.
It’s happy and fun and joyful. It’s unconventional and unplanned…
Things with Sidney would never be like that. He needed structure, plans, a goal. He couldn’t just let things be, or let something take it’s course; he needed to find a problem and make it better - take something and become the best at it. I could only hope that he’d spontaneously get over these feelings - but then again, Sidney also never gave up on anything, ever.
I sat quietly in one of the many plush chairs that lined the hallway. I was exhausted, dead where I sat. Last night had been one of the longest nights of my existence.
I had always had a hard time being alone at night; and that, combined with the guilt and confusion I was feeling about Sidney - left me unable to do anything but toss and turn.
It was a surprise when I got a phone call the next morning from Ben, the head medical guy from the Caps; wanting to see me for an interview. I had dressed in a daze, before walking the eight blocks to the Verizon Centre; and now here I sat.
I should have been a lot more nervous than I was, but my brain was too numb with remorse to make room for any other emotion. I sat patently, not minding the wait; better to be here than at home alone, I thought sadly.
“Jespin?” A woman asked, coming around the corner and smiling at me. I stood up in response and she motioned for me to follow her. “He’s right in there.” She said, pointing at a partially opened office door.
“Hi Jespin! Glad you could make it on such short notice… sorry about the wait.” Ben added as he greeted me, closing the door before taking his seat again, behind the desk. “So… after going over the applications that we’ve received so far, we decided that we wanted to take on two interns this year. We were interested in talking to you about that, discussing whether or not you still wanted to be part of our organization…” He stared at me expectantly, waiting.
“Oh… umm… of course!” I smiled, trying to hide the surprise and fear that was now over-powering the guilt inside me. I had assumed this would be an interview, something that ended with a ’we’ll give you a call later’. I was expecting to have time to go home and think about this, talk it over with Dad - and Sidney… my mind added reluctantly.
“Surprised?” He asked, his smile widening as he grabbed a few papers from a desk drawer. “We like to get interns right away, train them, then hope that they stay with the organization. You had a lot of experience already with other hockey teams and your grades are excellent. There isn’t a whole lot I can really ask you yet, you’ve only had one week of classes so far… I promise you’ll be fine though. We have a great medical staff here and they’re always willing to help out.” He held out some papers to me, sounding so fatherly and reassuring, that I couldn’t help but believe him.
“That sounds great…” I nodded slowly, reaching out to take the papers from him.
“Alright, those are some forms I need you to fill out and this is a booklet, give you a little bit of background information and so on… if you have any questions, my number is on the back.” He handed me a thick binder, full of sheets. “I was meaning to ask you… Lemieux… I saw you had some volunteering with the Penguins organization; you’re not any relation to Mario are you?”
“Yah, actually… he’s my father.”
“Oh!” Ben exclaimed, leaning back into his seat. “Well, that sure is something. You must be very proud of him! Wait till the guys find out about that…” He smiled to himself, moving to get up.
“Actually.” I said quickly, causing him to freeze into place. I furrowed my brow, trying to find a way to explain this to my new boss. “Would it be possible… if… you didn’t tell them?” He stared at me, confusion evident on his face. “It’s just… it might be awkward…” I made-up quickly. “If they know I’m Mario Lemieux’s daughter, it’d make me feel really insecure… like they’d be expecting something from me…” I sighed, not sure if he’d believe me or not.
“I guess that makes sense, hard name to live up to.” He chuckled, flashing me his fatherly smile again. “That won’t be a problem, our little secret.” He finished, nodding for me to follow him.
“Samantha, this is Jespin… she’s our newest medical intern. Do you mind find her some uniforms?” The brunette behind the desk - Samantha - nodded.
She looked me up and down, “medium?” I nodded at her, before she turned around and headed into a backroom.
“Alright, when she gets back I’ll take you downstairs and show you where you’ll be working from… introduce you to the guys.” Ben said, oblivious to the wide-eyed shock that was now crossing my face.
The guys? Of course… how could I forget about that? I looked away and grimaced, this job was going to be great, I had to keep reminding myself that. It was a great opportunity and really, how bad could this be? If I went into it with a positive attitude then everything would be perfect, almost perfect.
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