#2 - Try

In celebration of Toews being back... looking sexy as ever. And because Heather and Kristina asked so nicely =P

Boyce Avenue - Everything You Want

I opened my eyes just in time to see my father closing the door on his way out. I yawned softly, tilting my head upwards to glance at the clock; 6:14AM. I never got up early, especially not this early; so why was he in here?
I moved to roll over and propel myself out of bed; when I found I couldn’t move at all. I glanced down at my feet; they were tangled in the weight of the blankets - and something else.
I stiffened as I felt a grunt behind me, and the weight of a body shift against my back. Giggling softly I rolled onto my back, turning my head towards the breath of my bed partner. “Sidney…” I whispered softly, intending to wake him up for his ritual morning run with my dad. What still didn’t make any sense was why my dad didn’t just wake Sidney up; this wasn’t the first time he’d fallen asleep on my bed. “Sidney…” I sighed again, a bit louder than before. He moaned lightly in response, nuzzling his face against my side and squeezing onto me with both hands. Both hands; one of which was under my shirt, covering my left breast. “Oh god…” I sat, up and looked around in a panic.
Not only was Sidney shirtless with his hand up my shirt; but he was also wrapped around me - under the covers. I grabbed his wrist and pulled him away from my skin; “Sidney!”

“Huh- what?” He rolled away from me, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hands. Yawning widely he sat up beside me; grinning before throwing his arms around me again, close-lining me onto the bed.

“Sidney!” I squealed as his lips grazed along me neck. “Don’t!”

“I don’t remember you saying that last night…” he growled as his lips began to plant firm kisses up onto my jaw. Last night… oh god.
The memories of last night came flooding back to me as his hands began to sliding up along my warm skin.

“Sidney, no… my dad was just in here…” I pushed him away, trying to ignore the feel of his hands on me.

“So? I sleep in here all the time.” He did stop kissing me though, propping himself up on his elbows and appraising me with his eyes. “You ok… about… what happened last night I mean?”

I exhaled slowly, not sure how to answer that. It wasn’t like we had sex or anything even close really; but we had crossed a line that had never been crossed before. I could still feel his lips all over me, his rough hands tracing the curves of my body as he… clear head Jespin… “I’m good, yah… are you alright?”

He gave me a sheepish grin as he nodded, “Yah I’m great.”

We both grinned at each other for a minute, before I heard someone tromping up the stairs. “Ugh… that’s probably him… go! Before he comes in here again!” I laughed, pushing him up into a sitting position. He pouted his lips at me as I laughed again, watching him grab his shirt and jog to the door; pulling it open and closing it behind him. I heard his low voice mumbling from the other side of the door, followed by the sound of my dad laughing.
You would think most fathers would flip; walking in on a boy wrapped around his daughter - go figure mine wouldn’t care. I smiled to myself as I flopped back down; pulling the covers up around me; of course it wasn’t that he didn’t care about me with a boy - he didn’t care about me with Sidney. That guy could get away with anything as far as Mario was concerned…



“Holy shit! Like… you- wow!” I shook my head and laughed as Beth bounced excitedly on the edge of my bed; watching me sort through my closet. “Wait so… why are you still packing then?”

“What do you mean? I leave tomorrow! I should have finished packing a week ago…” I sighed, throwing my hands on my hips as I gave up with the memorabilia boxes in the closet; moving onto the clothing.

“You can’t just leave!” Beth screamed, jumping off the bed and sliding across the hardwood floor towards me. “Sidney! Jespin… Sidney Crosby! Oh my god I’m so jealous right now…” I turned around - a bundle of clothing over my arm - laughing at the look on her face.

“I thought you had a crush on Jordan Staal… not Sid.” I shook my head as I walked towards the opened suitcase on my bed; laying the clothing on top.

“Jealous as in… you’ve got a penguin in your bed making out with you, and I’ve got a poster and an autographed jersey! You can’t go Jes… not now!” She whined, tugging on my arm.

“Why would I not go? We kissed and fooled around a bit… it wasn’t a life changing moment, Beth… I’m still leaving.” She gapped at me, like I was speaking pig-Latin, before throwing her arms out in defeat.

“Hey, what are you guys doing?” We both turned around at the sound of Sidney’s voice.

“Oh… I was just… leaving. Bye!” I rolled my eyes are Beth ran past Sidney. He watched her leave then turned around, shooting me a questioning glance.

“Who knows with her…” I chuckled, my voice edging on hysterics; would he be mad if he knew that I told someone? He nodded slowly, smiling slightly as he walked towards me.

He stopped once he reached me, his eyes falling upon the navy blue suitcase. “Umm… what are you doing?” He looked at the pile of clothing in my arms, then up at me.

“Packing…?” I said slowly, the word coming out more as a question, under his intense gaze.

“You’re leaving?”

I nodded, my brow creasing as I studied him. “I start at Washington University on Wednesday… remember?” It was his turn to nod as he looked away, confusion crossing his face. “What’s wrong?”

“I just thought… after last night…” He shrugged his shoulders, smiling slightly before he turned around. “Never mind… it’s not a big deal…” He turned back around, grinning at me as I stared back.

“Sidney… about last night… it-”

“It was nothing, you’re right. Just forget about it.”

I walked towards him, grabbing onto his hand. “I was about to say that it wasn’t nothing… it was something, but… I can’t stay here just because we kissed.” I sighed as he pulled me closer to him; I dropped the clothing that I was holding and wrapped my arms around his neck.

“Do you like me Jes?” He asked, his word muffled as he pressed his face into my hair.

“I… Sidney what does this have to do with anything…” He pulled away from me and started at me like I was loosing my mind. He licked his lips as he cupped my face in his big hands; tilting me towards him, waiting. “Yes… I do. I like you, but it doesn’t change anything.”

“I don’t want you to go.” Was all he said before he crushed his lips on top of me. There was no build up or softness in his kiss; it was fierce from the moment his skin touch mine. I could hardly draw a breath as he swept me up in arms.

He laid me down on my bed, beside the suitcase, allowing his weight to hold me in place beneath him. “Sidney… I’m not staying…” I whispered softly, trying my best not to hurt his feelings. “Why… why are you doing this?” I finally asked, not sure if I wanted the answer or not. “Why now? Why not… why not before?”

He sighed, apparently realizing he had gotten carried away in the moment. He got off the bed and pulled me up beside him. “I’ve always liked you Jespin… but what was I suppose to do? When I came here you were what? Twelve, thirteen… you were too young. Then there was just so much stuff going on… hockey… Lauren’s crush… I just didn’t know what to do.” He sighed, running his fingers through my hair as I rested my head against his broad chest. “Am I too late?”

“I don’t-” I groaned, lifting me head away from his warmth and staring up into his deep chocolate eyes. “No… not like there’s someone else or anything but; I still need to go. I wish that… this could have happened sooner…” Before you felt like family... before this felt awkward...

“Would it have changed your mind?” I shrugged, looking away from his intense gaze. Who knew really? I would be in the same situation if Sidney and I had of taken it to the next level. I would still be Mario’s daughter, and I would still want my own identity; but would this boy be enough to make me stay?
I wanted to say no, that this wouldn't change anything, but I couldn't. He looked so vulnerable, so innocent and hopeful.
How many times had I fantasised about this? About last night? That’s all it had ever been though; secret dreams that were never going to come true. Now that they had, I wasn't sure what I wanted. I couldn't figure out why everything felt so wrong.

I was ready to leave, finally happy and sure of my decision; and now this. I was leaving, there was no doubt; it was set in stone - but now this. Could I live with myself if I really hurt him? He'd always been there for me, who was I to turn him away? “I don’t know Sidney… but this is where we are now… and I’m still going.”

“Stubborn. Just like your dad.” I chuckled silently, allowing him to hug me once again. “Maybe we could get together though… I could go visit you when I have time off, if you want?”

“Wasn’t that the plan all along?” I laughed again as Sidney shifted uncomfortably.

He shrugged and gave me a sheepish grin. “Well yah but, I figured I should ask again… ya know.” He wagged his eyebrows at me and I rolled my eyes; I was never gonna hear the end of this…

“Well, you know you’re more than welcome at my place, but… I’m not making any promises about this.” I said as I wiggled my finger between us. “We’ll see where it goes but, it’s still so strange, you know?”

He nodded, releasing me as he sat down on the bed; allowing me to pick up my discarded clothing and begin packing again.
I continued to steal glances at him as he watched me; blushing every time he caught me. I was never one with words - dancing was my specialty - so I wasn’t sure whether or not I had made myself clear to him. This was a difficult decision. Even now as I folded and squished and compacted my belonging in to a bag - I was worrying about it. I was scared of disappointing my family, of loosing him; I didn't love Sidney Crosby, but I owed him enough to at least give this a try.