#12 - Confrontations and Brooding

Untouchable Face - Ani Difranco

“Hey… you.” I looked up at the sound of a woman’s voice; heavily wrapped in accent. I assumed she was calling to me; seeing as how we were the only people in the entrance way. She was walking towards me with purpose and determination. “You’re Jespin, right?” She spat, her stone-cold gray eyes full of judgement and disgust.
This was the girl I had seen, only days before, with her arms wrapped around Alex. His girlfriend.

“Yah… can I help you with something?” I asked slowly, glancing around the empty lobby, searching for the guy I had been thinking about all morning.
She didn’t answer, reaching out and roughly grabbing hold of my right arm; pulling it upwards until my hand was in front of her face. The emerald and diamond ring sparkling under the neon light. “Oh…” I breathed out, my eyes slowing moving back and forth between the ring and her stern glare.

She gave me a sickly sweet smile as her eyes began to boil over with rage. “Now you remember?”

“Hey look…” I said, pulling my arm out of her grasp and holding my hands up in defence. “I didn’t know about you when he gave it to me, and it’s just a gift… nothing happened between us.”

“What?” She snapped, her orange cheeks taking on a red tint as her lips pulled back over her teeth in a snarl. “What do you mean nothing happened? He’s buying you diamond rings and you didn’t even fuck him?”

What the hell… “Uh… what?” I asked, honestly confused. I had told her nothing happened; one, because it was the truth, and two, because I had assumed that’s why she was so upset about.

“Chush' sobach'ya!” She screamed, the sound echoing of the high ceiling. “Ok listen to me…” She snapped, grabbing the back of my head and pulling me towards her. I could feel her manicured nails digging into my scalp as she hissed at me. “I don’t give a shit who you are or what you want. If you want to fuck him, by all means, have your fun. But he. Is. Mine. Do I make myself clear? I’ve worked my ass off for far to long to have some American bitch come in and take him.”

“Ok… maybe I’ missing something but, shouldn’t you be telling me not to fuck him?” She started to laugh, letting go of my head and giving me a pat on the cheek.

“Oh, that’s so cute.” She said in a giddy, condescending voice, shaking her head at me like I was the most hilarious thing she’s ever seen. “I don’t care about that. I will marry him though. And I will have his name and his money… I deserve it.” She explained, her voice serious again. “Sasha and I have an understanding… I turn a blind eye to his little escapades over here in America, and he gives me anything I want…”

I was staring in open mouthed amazement. There is no way she just said that… am I being Punk’d or something? I took a quick glance around the lobby; which was still very empty. Ashton Kutcher? Anywhere? “I- I-” I started to sputter, unable to think of anything to say.

“Did you think you were special? Like he really cared about you? He’s fucked every girl in here… you’re just new meat. He always comes home to me, don’t forget it.” She snorted, fully gloating as she turned on her heel and began to march off.

I felt angry tears pool around the lids of my eyes, blurring my vision as I watched her leaving. She was right, of course she was right. I knew that, it wasn’t like people didn’t talk about him like that; it wasn’t like I had really expected anything different… but it just didn’t make sense. If all he wanted was sex, then why would he go through all this trouble with me instead of just grabbing a puck bunny? Unless that’s what he thought I was… just another easy lay.


I wasn’t sure how long I stood like that for; all I knew was that she was long gone, and had been for a while. I took a few deep breaths, still willing my body to reject the tears it wanted to cry. I was convinced if none fell, than everything would be ok - somehow.
I started walking, down the hall, towards my office, trying to remember what I was suppose to be doing.
First the whole thing with Sidney, now this? At least I hadn‘t slept with him; I owed the boys a thank you for that. We were alone for thirty seconds before Jordan ran up the stairs after us, stopping us from doing anything but sleeping. I was scared of what would have happened if they didn‘t come up. I couldn‘t keep leading Sidney on; but I also didn‘t have the heart to tell him no… “Hey Jes.”

“Hey.” I replied numbly, still caught in a daze as I walked with my head down; bewildered.

“Are you ok?” Ok… what a dumb concept. I thought, looking up for the first time. Alex was watching me, concern evident on his face as he gave me a weak smile.

“Oh… like you care!” I yelled, his sudden appearance snapping me back into the reality of the situation.

His eyes grew wide at my sudden behavioural change. “I-, what?”

“You know what Alex, fuck you! I hope you and your gold digging girlfriend are happy together… cause you definitely deserve each other.”

“What are you talking about? Did she-”

“Oh yah… had a great chat with her.” I snapped, rolling my eyes.

“Jes, whatever she said-”

“It doesn’t matter what she said! I don’t care… I don’t care about you or who you wanna sleep with! Just know, it’s not gonna be me.”

“Jespin, would you just wait a second?”

“Fuck you.”


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


Dazed and Abused - Seether

I watched her take off, shoving past me as she stormed down the hall, her words echoing all around me. What the fuck just happened? I had no idea what that was about, but I could guess. Looks like I need to go find Masha…
I exhaled slowly, looking up and down the hall. I should go find Masha, figure out what the hell’s gotten into her; but I didn’t want to. I wanted to go chase the angry girl in the ugly red jacket.


“Would you just talk to me for a minute?” I asked again, resting my forehead against her office door. “Jespin? I know you’re in there… could you at least tell me what she said?”

“Why don’t you go ask her?” Came the bitchy reply from the other side of the door.

Women… I sighed, shaking my head slightly. The bitchy ones are never worth the trouble, and the ones that never give you shit, are sluts. “Look, I don’t understand why you’re so mad at me-” I started to say when the door swung open.

“Mad at you? I’m not mad at you! That would imply that I feel one way or another about you, and I don’t.” What the hell is going on…? I thought, trying to keep any hint of emotion off my face.

“Look, whatever she said, just forget it-”

“I already have! Now go away!” She tried to close the door again but I stuck out my hand, holding it open with ease. She groaned in frustration before giving up, allowing me to push the door open, following her into the small, square room.
She sat down in her chair, arms folded across her chest. “I just hate confrontations… especially the kind that I shouldn’t be a part of.” She said after a long while, softer and less hostile than before.

I nodded my head, taking the seat across from her. “I’m sorry about that, I’ll talk to her-”

She waved the idea away with her hand. “Don’t worry about, just forget it happened… that’s what I plan on doing.”

“Alright…” I said slowly. She grabbed some papers from a desk drawer and began to shuffle through them; I took that as my cue to leave. “Well, either way… I’m sorry she did… whatever she did…” I got up, moving towards the door.

“She’s using you, you know? She doesn’t even like you…” I turned around, shrugging my shoulders - this wasn’t something I didn’t already know. “Your money… and the celebrity, that’s all she wants… I just, thought you should know.” She finished sympathetically, staring up at me with pity in her eyes.

“I know.” I said simply, my anger growing as she stared at me; watching me like she was somehow better than I was.

The compassion on her face changed into disbelief. “You know? Then why are you still with her?”

“Why do you care?” I asked bluntly, not waiting for her answer as I headed back out the door.



I hit the volleyball high in the air, sending it sailing towards Semi. He spiked it down and I dove for it; colliding Brash as we hit the cement floor. “I called that one Ovie…” Brash complained. “Where’s your head at?”
I got off the ground and glanced around; everyone was looking back at me. I knew what they were all thinking - something was off - that’s because, something was off.
I never played like this, ever. The match of volleyball we played before each game was just for fun; something to get the blood flowing and our bodies working together. If there was anyone on the team who didn’t take it seriously enough, it was me. Not today though.
I couldn’t pay attention to what anyone was saying, and I couldn’t help but let my anger out on the small white ball.

Giving up completely after another brutal screw-up on my part, I shook my head and jogged off towards the locker room. “Ovie… Ovie man, wait up.”
I came to a complete stop, groaning as I waited for Mike to catch up. “What’s going on, are you alright?”

“Yah. Why?” I snap, grinning slightly as he started to laugh at the irony in my retort.

He moved around until he was standing in front of me, looking very much like a mother-hen; his disapproving gaze causing me to roll my eyes. “Just a bad day… nothing to worry about.” When his stare didn’t let up I exhaled loudly and continued. “Masha got up in Jespin’s face I guess… I don’t know. I tried to apologise and she told me that Masha was using me, then I left.”

“Okay first off, you apologised for something? Holy shit! And no offence man but, the only reason I didn’t tell you Masha was a money grabbing skank was cause I thought you already knew…”

“I did… I do…” I said, trying to end this conversation; it had gotten extremely close to reaching a place I didn‘t want it to go; back to Jespin.

“Well… then why are you so pissed off?” I shrugged as nonchalantly as I could, finally pushing past Mike and heading towards the locker room. “Ovie!” Mike called again from behind me, this time I ignored him; he couldn’t help me with anything so, there was no point talking to him about it. I don’t have a clue what’s going on myself, how am I suppose to explain it to someone else?

Who was she to think that I needed her pity? Her sympathy? No matter what I did someone was always getting their panties in a bunch over it; and I was just plain sick of it. Don Cherry thinks I celebrate wrong. Players think score goals wrong. Caps management has a problem with my driving ability… we made it under the fucking door! No one died!
I guess that’s the problem with being bigger than life; everything you touch becomes newsworthy, something for people to talk about… again and again.

I spat out a string of profanities, slamming my hand against the wall as I thought about Jes again; replaying our conversation in my head.
It didn’t matter what she had said; I saw how angry she was, upset over the whole thing. It just didn’t make sense. I tried the ‘notoriety’ act, I tried the ‘showering with gifts’ sham; none of it worked… she didn’t want the money or the name, so why the hell was she so mad at me?
I spun around, lashing out at the nearest thing. A swift kick sent the first aid kick spiralling across the locker room, smashing into the wall; it’s contents spilling out everywhere.
If she doesn’t care about any of it then why should it matter? Why does she care how I spend my money, or how Masha spends it?
There’s got to be something more to this! Maybe she isn’t mad about that, maybe she’s mad about Masha. She did seem pretty upset when she saw us together… no, that’s not it either.
I tried the ‘nice guy’ thing too and it didn’t work.
Maybe… Ugh! Forget it!

I couldn’t bring myself to even consider other options; I was done. Finished. If Jespin wanted to be a confusing bitch than that was her problem; it had nothing to do with me. I’m Alex Ovechkin… I don’t brood over chicks.