#26 - Harlequin Romance

Take a Bow - Rhianna(Cover)


I arrived at the arena, excited about seeing Alex again. I wanted to call him after my conversation with Sidney; wanted to call him again after he left - but I decided against it.
I wanted to have this conversation with him in person. It was time that I laid it all out on the line; told him how it was. I liked him, a lot. The more I thought about it the more I knew that I needed to be with him.

He had turned Masha away. He didn’t have to. He could have had sex with her, and I never would have known; but he didn’t, and that was enough proof for me.
When I turned around the corner and heard a recognizable voice, I thought I was going to throw up.
What a liar. I thought to myself, scowling as Masha’s voice got louder. Sure, he got rid of her… that was why she was still here. I shook my head, completely outraged.

Other women wanted him, I'd seen it first hand. So I shouldn’t have been surprised that she was still here; or that she was willing to take him back after he dropped her.
I couldn’t understand what she was saying, but I had a pretty good idea of the context.

The way girls flirted with him and talked about him was disgusting; how they‘d stab their best friend in the back to have a chance at him. They intentionally twisted his words into more than they were; trying to make themselves feel bigger - have something to brag about when they got home.
What makes him so extraordinary? He was a hockey player, not the second coming of Christ. Of course, you couldn’t say that out loud; it was blasphemy here. It disgusted me, the way people here - men and women - did their best to appease him; make him happy. I use to be one of those people, but not now. No, not anymore.
I hated it, and now I hated him, and everything that he stood for.

I walked past the locker room and saw them. She was sitting on his lap and he was laughing. So what is it about the stupid caveman that makes me wish it was me that he was touching? Why do I wish that I was the skinny blond bitch that he was fondling? I groaned inwardly, shaking my head as I looked away from his wandering hands and her perfect body. I turned on my heel and stalked off down the hallway, not even caring anymore if he could hear the tap, tap of my heels against the linoleum floor.

I headed back to my small office, inwardly re-evaluating all the reasons why I should hate Alex, why I did hate Alex. But you still want him. The idea stopped me in my tracks; causing my eyes to widen and my breath to catch in my throat. No, I don’t… I moaned softly, trying my best to shake the thought; knowing that it was futile. I had made up my mind this morning that I was going to throw it all out there, and there was no going back now. I wanted him with a longing that transcended anything I’d felt before.

He pissed me off, made me angry, frustrated; was the main reason for all the stress and annoyance in my life at the current time… but there was just something about that cocky, good-for-nothing attitude I couldn’t help but notice.
Sometimes his stupid, arrogant, smug, grin made me want to slap him; other times it hit me like a jolt between the legs.

I flopped down into one of the computer chairs, tilting my head back to rest against the wall as I closed my eyes. Am I no better than the rest of the puck bunnies?
I sighed and shook my head slightly. No, I had to believe it was different. I didn’t think about him as a source of power or prestige; in all honesty, I didn’t want to think about him period. Not after this… not again.
I had thoughts though, things that were running through my mind. Like his big, rough hands on me, or his warm breath caressing my skin… his tongue touching me in the most intimate of places… Ugh! Stop up!

I sat up - bolt right - glancing around the small room quickly, before I pushed myself off the chair and headed back into the hallway. My face was flushed and my entire body was shaking with the beat of my accelerated pulse.
I shook my head again, trying to clear out the images that weren’t allowing my heart to settle. I leaned against a wall, allowing my breathing to slow.
Once I felt like I could move - somewhat steady - I headed towards the exit, hoping I wouldn’t cross his path again.

Apparently my guardian angel had taken the day off; they had come out of the locker room. “Hey Jespin…” He grinned, his lips making a loud suction noise as he pulled them away from the smorgasbord of skank he was chowing on.

“Don’t talk to me!” I spat, grinding my teeth as I blew past them, not looking back. It was a major over-reaction; he was going to assume it that it meant, exactly what I didn’t want him to know it meant. Not that I particularly cared at the moment.


I hopped into my car, slamming the door before I jammed my keys into the ignition. I turned up the radio as I drove out of the parking lot, confused tears falling down my face. I wasn’t even sure if I was jealous of the fact that he was kissing someone else, mad that I cared he was kissing someone else; or pissed that I didn’t have the balls too go back in there and kiss him myself.
I was around him almost everyday, but I knew I couldn‘t let it happen again, and that was going to be hard. The opportunity was there; I wasn’t naive enough to think it’d be difficult to get on him again - let’s face it, he’s a guy. A guy with a big pay check, a big name, and an even bigger ego; the worse kind.
It’d be simple, easy just to turn on the charm; get him to look my way once more - but then what? Did I really want him bad enough to let him use me?

Besides, if I ever tried to get on him, he’d probably try and push it all the way. I wasn’t a seductress, I wasn’t the type of girl that thought like this; I especially wasn’t the type of girl that acted on thoughts like this.
And if I did, who would I be? Would I play the shrinking violet or the smouldering temptress?
It was so easy to imagine the temptress; easier to admit that I’d act the violet. A lack of confidence consumed me, regardless of who it was with.
I felt awkward enough just remembering my night with Sidney - Sidney, the boy that was closer to me than anyone.
What would I do anyway? How would I deal with someone like Alex? I was inexperienced and only moderately attractive - not a 10 by any standard.
I think one full day and night would suffice… I thought as I nodded to myself. What I’d give for a full 24 hours to know him.
…to take my delicious time with every delicious inch of his body.

Okay Jespin… I sighed, shaking my head and focusing on the road, no more harlequin romances for you… I sighed as I headed towards the dance studio, ready to blow off some steam.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Jealous Guy - Gavin Degraw(Cover)


“Don’t talk to me!” Jespin spat as she stormed past me. At first I grinned, thinking for sure that I had taught her a lesson about messing with me; then I saw the tears she was fighting to hold back. Something wasn’t right.
If she was dating that other guy then why would she cry over me kissing Masha? It made no sense; unless of course I was wrong again… which would suck. I watched her go, as Masha tried to tug me back down towards her.

“Stop.” I said roughly, hitting her hand away as she reached for me.

“Is that what this was about? You used me to make her angry… are you kidding me?” She snapped, her eyes glaring in the direction Jespin had just disappeared down.

“Yah, that’s about right.” I shrugged, pulling myself out of her hold and taking off down the hallway.

“Don’t you walk away from me! I can’t believe you used me!”

“Yah… it sucks doesn’t it? When people use you?” I shot back over my shoulder, never stopping my step as I left her standing in the hallway.



“Jespin! Could you just hear me out?” I yelled, slamming my hand on her apartment door, for what felt like the hundredth time.

“Do you mind?” Some girl snapped from behind me. I glanced over my shoulder to see a middle-aged woman standing in her doorway; glaring at me with her hands on her hips.

“Do you not recognize me?! I can do whatever the hell I want… get back in your house!” The nerve of some people… I thought angrily, turning back around to find that Jespin had finally opened the door.

“Are you yelling at my neighbours?”

“No…” I said, sulking slightly as I snapped my head back around. Luckily for me the angry lady was already gone. I turned my attention back to Jespin; catching the door as she attempted it close it on me. “Jes… come on! Would you just listen?!”

“Listen to what Alex? I have nothing to say to you and I don’t particularly give a shit if you have anything to say to me.”

I let out a frustrated groan and pushed my way through the door; earning a huff of disapproval from her. “Ok look… I screwed up…” I said slowly, trying to figure out what else I was suppose to say. “Sorry?” I added as an after thought, shifting back and forth on my feet.

“Alex look… this is not gonna work out so why don’t we just stop it here.” It wasn’t a question and she wasn’t looking at me.

“No.” I stated imprudently. “That’s a horrible idea…” I rolled my eyes at her as I continued to walk deeper into her apartment; searching for any signs of him.

“Excuse me? Could I help you find something?”

“Nope… just looking.” I said absently, moving further through her home. “Do your parents live here too?”

“No. Just me.”

I raised an eyebrow and spun around to face her. “So we could fuck now and no one would know… accept that bitch across the hall…” I bit my lip and glanced at the door. Might be fun to piss her off some more…

“Umm… I’m not having sex with you… just so you know.” I grunted, rolling my eyes once again. They always said that.

“Ok… that’s beside the point. I thought that you were playing me around. I thought that you had a thing with this guy and you were just trying to keep me on the side… to use me for my good-looks.”

“You thought I was using you?” She asked slowly, confused.

“Yep.” I said, nodding.

“For your good-looks?”

“Mmhmm.” I hummed, nodding again.

“You’re an idiot.” She said flatly, shaking her head in amazement. “Alex… that’s… ugh! Did you have sex with her?”

“Who?” I asked, feigning hurt. She exhaled loudly, folding her arms under her ample cleavage, glaring at me - much in the same way her neighbour had. “Yes.” I answered, trying to pretend that it was no big deal.

“Get out.” She said quietly. She didn’t sound angry; she sounded sad, disappointed - every guy knows that that’s always worse.

“Jes. Look, I screwed up ok? Don’t I deserve a…” I rattled off the other times in my head. Ok, so there was Masha and then Natalie… or Natasha… whatever her names was… “Third chance?” She sighed, looking away from me once again. “Jes…” I groaned, walking towards her. I pulled her against me and bent down until my face was in her hair. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’m an idiot… I was just jealous of that other guy and I wanted to get you back.”

“Alex. I can’t. Look at all the crap that’s happened already. You get a mixed signal from me and you go around and sleep with other girls. I can’t deal with that. You don't even like me.”

“How do you know that?”

"If you like me... then tell me." She said, gazing at me intently. I stared back at her, trying to figure out what to do. I didn't want to admit it; I didn't like relinquishing power to people - admitting I liked her would do that. “Just go Alex. Please. If you value my sanity at all… I need to be alone right now.” She said finally, after I didn't say anything.

I shrugged, trying to brush the reject off of me as I turned around; not bothering to close the door as I headed down the stairs and away from Jespin.