#20 - Déjà Vu

You’re Beautiful - Phil Wickham(Cover)


“Are you even listening to me Alex?” Natasha asked impatiently as she fidgeted beside me.

“What?”

“Holy shit! Could you pay attention for five seconds?” She spat, folding her arms over her chest as she glared at me. I rolled my eyes, not bothering to respond as we waited under the awning for the valet to return with my car. “Anyway, like I was saying… if you would just sign on with my agency then it would help both of our careers out.”

“How do you figure that? And my career is fine.” I added, sighing as I looked away from her. She’d been going on about it all night; how I should sign a contract with her agent.
It was fairly clear what she was doing. She was somehow under the impression that if I joined on her modelling career would take off; which actually made no sense. It wasn’t worth the trouble to explain it to her though, so I allowed her to continue her rant about it; trying to ignore her as much as possible.



“So are you going to spend the night?” She purred, leaning across the centre console until she was breathing in my ear.

I shook my head, not looking at her. “Can’t. I have a game tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow night.” She whined, pouting her hot red lips at me as she twirled a strand of platinum blond hair around her finger. “You won’t even come in for a bit?” I shook my head again, impatiently tapping my hands on the steering wheel while I waited for her to get out.
She let out a soft groan, moving even closer until I felt the wetness of her tongue tracing my earlobe.

Involuntarily I closed my eyes and tilted my head to the side; giving her better access to my neck. Her lips trailed down my throat as she crawled over the shifter and into my lap.
With my eyes still closed I grabbed the back of her hair twisting my hands through her long black locks until I reached the base of her neck, pulling her closer. I brought my other hand down, pulling Jespin as tight to my chest as I could.
I felt her smile against the kiss as intensified it; breathing heavily against her soft skin.
She tilted her head back and I ran my tongue down her neck, allowing my teeth to graze her chest; dropping my hands down until they were both grasping her hips.

The whole thing felt surreal, as she began to swivel her hips on top of me, grinding her pelvis into my lap. I let out a low grunt and she retorted by gripping her nails into the back of my head, tugging slightly at my hair.
I had never wanted anything more in my whole entire life. Nothing. “Mmm…” She murmured, giggling slightly as I groaned again. “You’ve never been like this before… tell me babe, tell me what you want…”

“Just you… fuck… I just want you. You’re so beautiful Jespin.” I whispered into her ear.

She froze in place; her grinding coming to a halt as she unwound her fingers from my hair. “What?”

I snapped my eyes open and stared back at not-Jespin. “Oh… oops.”

“Oops? Oops?! Are you fucking kidding me? Jespin? Isn’t that one of those girls on the staff? Why are you thinking about her?!” Natasha screamed, flinging herself back over in the passenger seat. “Well?”

“Well what?” I asked nonchalantly, trying to hide the disappointment in my voice. That’s something that’s never happened to me before…

Natasha let out an angry hiss, followed by a heavy sigh. “Alright well, looks like you are really tired after all. I’ll see you tomorrow love…” She said slowly, leaning over to kiss my cheek before she got out of the car; her demeanour snapping right back into the fake persona that was the norm.
I drove off as soon as she closed the door, more confused than ever.


I wasn’t five minutes lost in contemplation when I saw her again; for real this time. I rolled down the window, slowing down to a crawling pace. “Jespin!” I yelled,
willing her to hear me.
She glanced over in my direction looking surprised and confused as she glanced around her. “Get in, I’ll drive you.” She hesitated slightly on the sidewalk before dashing towards me.

I gave her a small smile as she crawled into the passenger seat. “Thanks, I thought it was gonna start raining again.” She grinned back, adjusting a pile of books onto her lap.

“Who’s your boyfriend?” I asked without thinking, regretting my word vomit as soon as it happened.

“Ah… what? I don’t… have a boyfriend… so…” She trailed off awkwardly, glancing out the window.

“Oh… sorry. I just saw your bracelet and thought…” I shook my head, grimacing at my weak attempt at backtracking.

“He’s just a friend. At least, it’s that way for me… more like a brother really.” She said softly, blushing gently in the glow of the street lights.
She seemed almost embarrassed by her last comment, like it had just slipped out by accident.

“Right, sorry.” I bit my lip, sighing as I pulled up in front of her apartment. “So… I guess I’ll see you tomorrow than…”

“Sounds good. Have a good night Alex.” She said softly, hopping out of the car. “Thanks again.”

“No problem…”

This time I didn’t drive away until long after she had gone through the doors. I leaned forward until my forehead was resting on the steering wheel and I ran over the night in my mind.
The thing with Natasha was explainable, obviously, I wanted Jespin… there was nothing really strange about that. Then there was the fact that she didn’t have a boyfriend, which was a huge plus.
But I was still confused. She was flirting with me, or at least I thought she had been in LA; I thought the only hold up was her new boyfriend - but she didn’t have one…
She didn’t have one and so there should be nothing to stop me… I needed to get to the bottom of this; I just needed to man up and be frank - no more miscommunication.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


Misery Business - Paramore


It was déjà vu, happening all over again. I watched the fake bitch strut towards me; her hands forced into tight fists at her sides. I bit my lip, fearing the worse. Before I had been caught off guard; unsure of what was happening - this time I was worried, after all, I did wanted her boyfriend.
Still. I still wanted him, and that was what made it worse. I had told him goodbye, that I needed to move; and I still couldn’t stop.
Last night I should have kept walking, and not gotten into his car; but I did. It was like anytime I was in close contact with him I couldn’t help but feel me heart begin to race.

“Do you know why I’m here?” She spat, stopping a few feet away from me. I nodded, figuring it was best not to play dumb. “Well than you know what I’m going to say?” This time I didn’t do anything, I just stood there, waiting. “Listen…” She hissed, once she realized that I wasn’t going to say anything. “I don’t know what kind of little whore trick you pulled on Ovechkin to screw with him that bad… but you back off.”

Whore trick? “Ok, I take that back, I have no idea what you’re talking about…”

“Oh so he didn’t tell you about last night then? When he called me your name?” She cocked her head to the side, waiting.

My mouth dropped open. First off, I didn’t want to think about Alex and her having sex but… if he was calling her by my name then… “No…” I said quietly, trying to recover from the shock. “Why do you care anyway though? Aren’t you using him for his money… why should it matter who he sleeps with?” I asked as nonchalantly as possible; remembering Masha’s words from the first time I experienced this situation.

“Why do my reasons matter? The point is… I am with him.” She tilted her chin up, glaring at me, taunting me to deny it.

I wanted to punch her in the face. I had seen first hand, the proof that Alex was good guy, and I was sick of watching people use him.

“You know what? Alex happens to be a good person… and I don’t think you deserve him.” I snapped boldly, cocking my head up and returning her glare.

She started to laugh, loudly. “And who does… you?”

“Maybe I do.” I said, trying to sound confident. She gawked at me, her mouth falling slack as she allowed my words to wash over her.

At first I thought she was going to leave it at that, but I was wrong. “You bitch!” She screamed closing the gap between us and raising her hand.
I felt open palm slam into the side of my face, forcing my animalistic side out. Reacting on instinct - even though I'd never been in a fight in my life - I reached out in an attempt to shove her away. She grabbed onto my hair with her other hand, before I could move her, and yanked hard at my scalp.
My head snapped down to the side as I tried to remove her fingers from my tangled hair. Giving up I glanced up quickly, gripping my right hand into a tight fist and lashing out.
I nailed her on the side of her face, and she dropped her grip in a daze; stumbling backwards to clutch at her face.

“Holy shit! Nice hit Jes!” I spun around to see Mike, Feds and Brooks laughing from the hallway.

“Get out of here Natasha… before somebody decides to press charges.” Brooks said, shaking his head, unable to contain his laughter.

“She hit me!” Natasha shrieked, pointing a finger in my direction.

Mike rolled his eyes, walking towards me. “Yah, after you hit her. Besides she works here… and you shouldn’t even be in here.” Mike grabbed onto my arm and pulled me down the hallway behind him, Feds and Brooks following behind us.


“I’m not gonna lie, that was kind of awesome.” Brooks said as he sat beside me on one of the examining tables. “What do you think Nurse Green? Just some ice?” Mike nodded as he came back into the room, holding out an icepack towards me. I took it gratefully, laying it against my bruising right cheek.

“Do you know, that that’s the second time I’ve gotten into a confrontation with someone… both times it was about Alex?” I said quietly, groaning as they began to laugh.

“Well, I’m sure he’ll love knowing that, eh Ovie?” Brooks shouted, causing me to look up.

“Knowing what? What happened to you?” He asked, his voice full of concern as he walked towards me.

“Ah… this might be awkward… you wanna go?” Mike asked Brooks, who nodded back quickly. They both hopped out and headed out of the room, grinning broadly.

“What are they talking about?” He asked softly, coming over to stand in front of me.

“Umm…” Suddenly I felt like such a tattletale. “I kind of got into a fight… kind of…”

“Why?” He asked, a small grin playing on the side of his lips. He reached out and pulled the ice pack back, examining the damage.

“It was kind of over you, actually…”

His eyes snapped up quickly as he took a step towards me. “What do you mean?”

“Natasha was here and-”

“-she did this to you?” He spat, anger crossing his face.

“Yah it’s not a big deal though… Alex, she’s not a good person. She doesn’t really like you…” Not the way I do… I said quickly, adding the last part mentally.

He nodded thoughtfully, my confession not causing him to get mad in the slightest. “I’m sorry that she did this to you… I’ll make sure it never happens again.” He said finally, giving me a weak smile. He reached out slowly to brush his fingers along my swollen cheek. “I’ll be back in a bit… you stay out of trouble.” He added with a wink, causing me to giggle as he left the room.