Tuesday, January 12, 2010

#54 - Award Show

You and Me - Life house(Cover)


It had been over a month since I last saw Jespin. It should have felt strange seeing her again, it should have hurt less, but it didn’t. It also didn’t help that Jespin was impossible not to see; impossible to ignore. She walked in beside her father, Sidney trailing closely behind as they walked down the steps towards their seats.
I could feel people torn; some looking at them, some looking at me - all of them looking for some kind of reaction. I wanted to keep my eyes away from her, but I couldn’t look away; she was the only thing I could see.

Like a magnetic connection, her large emerald eyes found me instantaneously; a slight smile touching the edge of her lips as we stared at each other. “Ovie… people are looking at you…” Greener whispered from beside me, trying to get my attention.
I heard him of course, I could feel their eyes before he said anything; but I didn’t give a shit. At this moment she was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen, I wasn’t about to look away.
Who knew when I’d see her again after this? If all I had was a few hours to stare at her, that’s what I was going to do.


They took their seats, two rows behind me, to the left; Greener’s arm was the only thing that stopped me from turning around completely.
I was acting retarded, I knew that; but I couldn’t bring my mind to figure out why that was a bad thing - I was in love with her, didn’t that mean I had the right to stare?

I saw an arm drape around her bare shoulders and I twitched involuntarily before I realized who it belonged to; her father, not Sidney.
Regardless of how incredible Jespin looked, I couldn't stare at her anymore; it was different now. There wasn't just random people gawking at me, now it was her father. No, not gawking... Mario Lemieux was watching me; tilting his head and watching me, as if he’d never really seen me before this moment.
I allowed my eyes to wander over to the other side of Mario. Sidney was looking pointedly at the stage, even though there was no one on it.
He looked as uncomfortable as I felt; of course I was only uncomfortable because I was straining my neck.

The lights went down and I lost sight of her. I looked back for a few minutes in the dark before I realized that I’d probably have to wait till this thing was over to see her again. I sighed, turning around and leaning over to Greener. “I’m in love with her.” I said softly, causing his mouth to pop open.

“Yah… I know… but… I don't think this is the place...” He let out an awkward whistle, glancing back over his shoulder in Jespin’s direction.
I knew it was fruitless, the lights were still off, but on impulse I looked back too.

The music started and I was forced the turn around, not paying attention as my eyes zoned out on the stage.
It felt so surreal, being this close to her again, but not being able to touch her. I needed to though, I knew without a doubt that I needed to get her alone at some point; at least talk to her.


Hart, Richard, Pearson. Three awards, on the stage three time, and I couldn’t see a damn thing under the fucking lights. “What do I do man?” I hissed at Mike as the lights went back on and everyone started to get up.

He shrugged, looking back over his shoulder. “I don’t know, but you better do something fast… they’re taking off.” I groaned and looked back. I had no idea what after party they were going too. If they got out those doors, it’d be game over.

I ran out into the hallway, pushing past the crowd of people, as I attempted to reach Jespin.
I couldn’t find her in the crowd and when I finally got to the doors, I realized that I must have missed her.

“She’s right there.” I turned around at the sound of someone speaking in my ear. “She’s just waiting under the awning, trying to stay out of the rain…” Mario said, pointing out the doors and off to the side. I followed his finger and saw Jespin standing with Oksana under the red canopy.

“Thanks…” I said slowly, staring at my favourite hockey player and the father of the woman that I loved. I felt like I should say something else, like I should explain to him that I loved her and wanted to be with her. That she wanted me too, and we only ended because it was too hard for her.
I wanted to tell him that there wasn’t a thing in this world that I wouldn’t do for his daughter; but he smiled at me, and I could tell he already knew. "I don't mean to play devil's advocate... but you should probably get out there..." He smirked, causing me to nod as his eyes focused in on something behind me.

I turned around, throwing myself out the door and taking off through the rain, not stopping until I reached Jespin.
Oksana looked back and forth between us as I came to a halt beside her; giving me a grin before she turned around and walked a few feet away.

We stared at each other for an eternity; my eyes drinking in every perfect feature of her beautiful face as she stared back. It felt like it had been a million years since I stood this close to her; when in reality it had only been several weeks. “Hey.” She said softly, her eyes sparkling in under the lights as tears began to outline them.

“Hey.” I said back, laughing slightly at the absurdity of it all. “You look amazing.”

“Thanks, you look pretty debonair yourself.” I raised an eyebrow at her as she laughed lightly, shaking her head as she did so; her smooth black hair falling out around her shoulders.

“I… I guess I should go, don’t want to keep him waiting.” I nodded back at the parking lot where Sidney was talking with Mario. Mario looked like he was busy, keeping Sidney oblivious to my conversation with Jespin.

“Alex-” She started but I pressed a finger to her soft lips, silencing her.

“Be happy Jespin, please. I don’t think that I could stand it, if I knew you weren’t… I don’t even care if it’s not with me, just…” I sighed, looking away from her as she glanced back at Sidney.

She nodded slowly, before returning her gaze back to me. “I wish that things…”

“Me too.”

“Are you ok?” I nodded slowly, looking down at my feet.

“Of course.” I answered, as smugly as possible, trying to hide anything in my voice that might betray me. “Your boyfriend’s waiting for you…” I said quietly, causing her to turn around.

“He’s not my boyfriend.“ She answered honestly as we both looked at him. He didn’t look angry or upset as he watched us, he looked fearful. Mario said something to him, grabbing his arm and tugging him away. I sighed, I was wrong, the last thing that I needed was to be alone with Jespin.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


You Shouldn’t Kiss Me Like This - Toby Keith


I watched my dad lead Sidney away, wondering how on earth I was suppose to follow after them.
It was a horrible night out, the rain was pelting down and all I wanted to do was get inside some place warm and dry, but I couldn’t make my feet move.

I turned back around and looked up at Alex; he looked great, a lot better than I did. I could still see the sadness in his eyes, but I was positive he’d recover. After all, I was the one that had broken my own heart; he wasn’t loosing a piece of himself when I walked away. “You never danced with me.” I said suddenly, looking through the bay window as some of the Penguins twirled their dates around the large banquet room.

“You wanna dance?” He asked, shifting back and forth on his feet, uncomfortably. I nodded, and he took my hand.
I glanced back over my shoulder as Oksana grinned at me, still waiting for Geno.


No one was paying any attention to us;I knew we couldn't go inside, not with everyone in there. Instead he took my hand, leading me away from the awning and out into the darkened parking lot.
There was just enough light, - from the cars driving past on the highway - that I could see Alex fairly clearly. The wet pavement reflected the light even further as the rain pelted down on us.
Alex held me at a respective distance, which I appreciated; if he had of pulled me into his chest, I wouldn’t have been able to leave.

His hands rested lightly on the small of my back, holding us in a circle as we rotated slowly to music that didn't exist.
When he was close like this, it was hard to keep my resolve. All I could do was remind myself that this was the only way. Alex didn’t love me and it was too much pain to go through for anything less.

Sidney, he loved me, I already knew that. He also knew that I didn’t love him, not in the same way… but he was ok with that.
He fully believed that time would heal this wound and then I would be his; whole-heartedly.
I wasn’t so optimistic. I knew that there was no way these wounds would ever heal; and in all honesty, I wasn’t even sure that I wanted them to. I never wanted to forget the feeling of bliss that fell over me every time Alex came near.

“So why aren’t you together?” He asked finally, as he pulled me closer to him. I looked up at him and he was looking away. I blinked quickly, not from tears but from the rain that was trailing down my face.

I shrugged, locking my hands behind his neck as we continued to sway. “He’s asked but… I don’t know.” I answered half honestly. I knew why I couldn’t say yes to Sidney, I was still in love with Alex, and that wasn’t fair to him. Then again, I was being open with him about it, he knew I was broken goods, and yet he still wanted me.
There was just something there, some kind of wasted hope. The desire that Alex and I might somehow figure this out.
The dream that he might actually love me back.

I knew that love wouldn’t change what people said about me, but I was too selfish to go through all the pain for anything less than a total commitment; and I just wasn’t sure Alex could give me that.
I had heard rumours that he was back with his old girlfriend anyway; something that made me sad. It was like he was purposely putting himself through misery - hadn’t I proved to him that he was worth more than that?
Obviously not. Then again, he didn’t hold the same weight on me that I held on him. I was just one of the other girls, someone that he had pursued and achieved, like every other girl that had ever passed through his life.

I could feel someone watching us and I realized that Sidney was there. He gave me a sheepish smile; like he was the one caught doing something wrong. I sighed and pulled away from Alex. “I have to go.” I said softly, looking up at him as he nodded.

“Right. I’ll see you around then Jes… good luck, with everything.” He said, reaching up to push his wet hair out of his face.

I nodded watching him walk away from me. I cursed at myself as I felt the tears start to fall down my face; the last thing I needed to do was cry.
Sidney’s arms wrapped around me then, and he tugged me tightly against his chest. “I’m sorry…” I groaned, trying to hide my face, as tears began to mingle with the rain drops.

“It’s ok Jespin…” He whispered, clutching me tighter against his chest; I could feel my drenched dress, soaking his suit.

“It’s not though Sidney… it’s not fair for me to do this to you. You don’t deserve this.”

He rolled his eyes at me and grinned. “I think I deserve whatever I want… and right now it’s the beautiful green eyed girl with makeup running down her face.”

“Oh no…” I groaned bringing my hands up to cover my eyes.

Sidney just laughed, tucking me tightly under his arm as we headed for the car.

9 comments:

  1. I feel bad for Sid. She shouldn't keep using him if she has no desire to be with him. I really just want her to end up with Sid.
    Sid's reliable and stable, Ovie isn't.

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  2. Zigh, I can't take any more of this heartbreak. I want Sid to realize that he'll never have Jespin's heart. I want Sid to let her go back to Ovie, so he can meet his own girl that will love him back the way he deserves to be loved. I want Ovie to just freakin' TELL Jes that he loves her. Come clean about it and tell her that he loves her and he wants to be with her through thick and thin. And I want Jes to know that she belongs with Ovie. If there dance doesn't prove it, I don't know what does. They're magnets; they're drawn to each other. Stop pretending otherwise, you two!

    End of rant. I know that it'll be hard for Ovie and Jes to be together, but it's impossible for them NOT to be together. Does that make sense? They're making it harder than it needs to be. /sigh

    Loved it, of course. And I can't wait til tomorrow! Of course. But you knew that already.

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  3. Great update! My heart still breaks for Sid. At least he has the nerve to tell her how he feels about her and hangs in there even if she doesn't feel the same. Ovie is a coward because he won't even tell her how he feels. I'm torn, Ovie doesn't deserve her cause he won't fight for her but she totally doesn't deserve Sid either. Can't wait for more!!

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  4. I think Mario knows that Ovie & Jes belong together, if not he wouldn't have help Alex find her. I want Sid to see that she is never going to love him the way he deserves to be loved. I was hoping that when Sid saw them dancing in the rain he would tell Ovie & Jes they belong together! Someone is going have to.

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  5. Oh god, when your father knows you belong with someone- you know its time to man up and get with him. And I was really hoping for some hot Ovie-Jespin backstage sex and even though there was none- I still loved this chapter, crazy right?
    And Jay, I totally agree. with everything you said.
    Sidney needs to stop being selfish- so that might sound a little extreme. But he is keeping himself from finding the love of his life and keeping Jespin from being with hers:/
    Beautiful as always

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  6. I agree, Sidney is reliable and stable.

    That being said, and with all due respect, I don't think that love is either of those things. It's wild, and fierce, and crazy, and unpredictable, and unexplainable.

    In this story, Caveman is all of those things.

    So basically, all this rant sums up to be me still kickin' it on Team Caveman. Woahh.

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  7. wow, cathy just like read my mind...

    again, poor sid!!!!..obviuosly he isnt trying to keep jes and alex apart, or he would have been mad to see them dancing..which he wasnt!! he is just lost.
    ovie needs to grow a pair and tell jes how he feels.period.

    i think mario is being very noble..i actually loved him in this chapter, he is doing the best thing for his daughter and his..idk what sid is to him lol.

    great chapter, cant wait for more.

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  8. Ok first off damn you for picking my favourite Toby Keith song, and for making it fit so damned well.

    Secondly I'm 100% with Jessie. Sid provides everything that is reliable and safe in this world. But love isn't safe. Love is a risk, and it's heart ache and laughter, and tears of sadness and joy. And she's had all of those with Alex. And more.

    Mario knows it, now it just needs to happen.

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  9. Ohhhh Christ my heart is breaking for Ovechkin, and I can't believe I'm still reading this at 1.15 in the morning - it's THAT good. Damn you Zigh (in the nicest possible way)!

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