Saturday, January 2, 2010

#48 - Granite and Hope

**Let me just say... in case anyone picks up on it. I already know Jespin can't read Russian... we're gonna pretend the paper is in English. Just go with it... allow me a loophole haha**

Together - Kina Grannis (Starts for real at 1:40)


Alex’s parents had to be the nicest people I’d ever met; I had no idea what they were saying to me, but we seemed to get along incredibly well.
He wasn’t home and I wasn’t sure if that was good or not; the last thing I wanted was to cause a huge scene.

His mother seemed to know who I was instantly, as soon as she had pulled the front door open she had smiled at me, pulling me into a hug and ushering me inside.
His dad had taken my bag upstairs, probably assuming that I was here as Alex’s guest. I didn’t know how to tell them any different, so I just sat with them and listened to them watching the evening news.

“Hockey!” His dad grinned, excited to us an English word that he knew. He reached out to mess up the top of my hair as I focused on the screen. The Russian announcer was saying something about Alex, showing video of him skating around the ice; devoid of passion. It was then that I realized it was showing the last game against the Penguins.
I felt my heart falter as I remembered everything that had happened that last week. If only I could go back and change everything, maybe things would be different.
Maybe I would still be here, but here because he wanted me to be and not because I was chasing after him.


It was late and I could only assume that his parents were saying goodnight to me. His mother looked worried, and I could tell that every time she picked up her phone she was calling him, wondering where he was; I was wondering the same thing.
His mom murmured something to me, sounding like an apology, as she showed me down the hallway. I followed, surprised when she flicked on a light and we were standing in Alex’s room.
She gave me a pat on the back before turning around and leaving me standing in the empty room.

I shook my head, not sure what to do now. Alex wasn’t here and apparently know one knew where he was or when he was going to be back. I didn’t want to continue to stay in his house under these false pretences, but I also couldn’t just take off and leave without explaining anything to his parents.
I sighed, deciding that I would stay, but not on his bed.

I changed into a nightgown and pulled the comforter off the bed, planning on cocooning myself in it like always.
I was about to settle in, when a picture caught my eye.

I got up and began walking around the room, staring at the different pictures and trophies.
There was an older boy in a lot of them, clearly this was Alex’s brother Sergei; the family resemblance was uncanny. I smiled as I watched them grow up before my eyes. Family dinners, Christmas, hockey games, playing around outside.
Sergei was clearly a lot older, but he seemed to be Alex’s confidant; smiling adamantly from beside him through the years.

Then they stopped, not the pictures but the friendship and the smiles. Alex’s carefree youth was gone, replaced by a forlorn looking young boy. Suddenly I realized what Oksana meant when she said that Alex ’had’ a brother.
Something had happened, a sickness, an accident, whatever it was; Alex’s brother was gone.

It began to make more sense when I found an old newspaper article resting on top of his dresser. It was the only thing out of place. The rest of the room was like a shrine for everything wonderful and exceptional in Alex’s life; hockey everywhere.
This article wasn’t about hockey, it was about a car wreck from 1995. The black car was unrecognizable in the paper; just a jumbled mess of twisted steel and broken glass.

I sat down on the floor as I scanned the small black letters, trying to make sense of the tragedy. A nineteen year old Sergei was driving into town, when he lost control of his vehicle.
Ice. Just ice. That was the reason listed here; poor weather. He had been doing everything right, no indications of alcohol or speed playing a factor in it, just a freak accident that took the life of a young man.

Tears formed in my eyes as I re-read the article, trying to imagine what it was like for Alex to live through this. He would have been young, nine or ten when he lost his brother and best friend so unexpectedly.

I looked away from the ageing paper as my mind wandered back to happier times in Washington. Happier times for me, but had they really been happy times for him?
I remembered with a fierce rush, all the time I had driven places with Alex. The complete disregard for speed limits and traffic signs. He drove without a care, pushing the limits with his car, in the same reckless way he played hockey.
It didn’t make sense. If his brother was killed in a car wreck, why would he be so irresponsible and wild when he drove?


I laid down on the floor, wrapped tightly in the comforter. The article was resting on the night stand beside me; I couldn’t bring myself to put it back. I had to keep reading it, trying to find something in it that might explain why Alex was the way he was. There was something I was missing, something that I couldn’t see.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


Somewhere Out There - Our Lady Peace(Cover)


I decided that it was probably time to go home. Pushing myself away from the granite tombstone I stood up, sticking my hands in my pockets as I walked away from my brother’s grave.
I could feel my phone in my pocket, vibrating incessantly as I moved through the night. It had been daylight when I had walked through the cemetery gates, now the moon was high and I could only assume how worried mom would be.
It’d been a long time since I’d been here.

I hopped into my car, slamming on the gas as I drove through the familiar streets. I gunned it along the back roads, picking up speed as I wove my way through the dark.
I came to a screeching halt outside of my parent’s home. Slamming the car door behind me before I ran up the walk.

The house was dark inside and I checked the clock, it was after 1AM. My parents were usually always in bed by ten, so I wasn’t surprised to be the only one awake.
Heading up the stairs I tried to be quiet, keeping my head down as I passed Sergei’s closed door, unable to even look at it.

I quietly opened my own door, gently shutting it behind me as I turned around and headed further into my room.
The first thing I saw was the twisted car frame of the accident, staring back at me from the bedside table; the moonlight filtering through the window to illuminate it.
I gulped audibly, unsure as to who would do this. What kind of sick fucking joke… my mind began to turn. I glanced around noticing for the first time that the newspaper page wasn’t the only thing out of place.
My bed was unmade, and the comforter was on the floor. I bent down, listening.

I moved onto my hands and knees, crawling towards the far end of the cotton shell, trying to stay as quiet as possible. I exhaled when I realized that it was a person; Jespin.

I glanced back up at the nightstand, realizing that she was the one who had moved the article; she knew.
I couldn’t make sense of any of this. Showing up at my house to press Crosby further was one thing, following me all the way to Russia…

Without being able to help myself I moved closer. I laid down on my side, reaching out to trace the shape of her face with my fingertip. “Come all the way to Russia to sleep on my floor?” I whispered, just loudly enough to wake her out of her restless sleep.

“Huh?” She sighed, opening her eyes to meet my gaze. “Oh.” She gasped, sitting up quickly, “I didn’t… I’m sorry I didn’t know that you wouldn’t be here and then I didn’t just want to take off in case your parents didn’t know where I went cause they have no idea what I’m saying.” She breathed quickly, her words slurring together as she pressed to get them out.

“Why are you here?” I asked quietly, unable to take my eyes away from her.

She bit her lip and looked away, her eyes brimming with tears. “I- I came to find you.”

I nodded. “I know that, but why?”

“To apologise, to tell you that I was sorry…” She sighed, the motion moving her entire body as she shook her head. “I don’t know Alex. I just had to come… I couldn’t let you leave.”

I sighed, finally pulling my eyes away from her. “So… you’re really not with Crosby then?”

“No.”

“You don’t want to be with him?”

“No.”

I nodded again, finally looking back at her. A small smile began to creep on my face as I reached out for her, grateful when she threw herself into me.

I held onto her tightly, allowing myself to finally believe that maybe she wasn’t using me, maybe I had been wrong.
After all, my ideas didn’t make a whole lot of sense given the fact that she was here now. I kissed the top of her head, my face finally breaking into a grin as I felt hope filter through me.

I manoeuvred her around in my arms, standing up with her and placing her down on my bed.
I pulled off my shirt and kicked off my jeans, crawling in beside her. I allowed myself to relax as I felt her skin against mine; pressing into me.
It was so easy to forgive her for not telling me the truth; if the truth now meant that she wanted me and only me. I supposed that I was always wanting to forgive her, as long as it was for the right reasons.
Now that she was here and everything was finally starting to make sense again, it was easy to laugh about what had been my devastation only minutes before. “Anything else I should know about you before this goes any further?” I quipped, glancing down at her.

She grinned back up at me, stretching until her lips were brushing against mine. “No…” She whispered gently, her voice breaking slightly as one of her thick tears dropped on to my arm.

6 comments:

  1. Yiippeeeee!!!!!!

    Oh Ovie, you big lug, you! I'm so glad he forgave her. I mean, hello! She came to Russia! I love that he realized that. I just wish he wouldn't have been so dense about it all along, but he was hurt.

    Now I just hope that Ovie can open himself up to Jes. Now that he knows she loves him and wants to be with him, I hope he can trust her enough to tell her about Sergei (more than she now knows, of course) and find the support he needs.

    I seriously love this story. I'm so happy that they're together again, and no one's mad at the other one. Gotta savor the happy as long as we can!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I avoided reading this story for a long time, because I was NEVER going to like Ovechkin. Even when I started reading I tried to dislike him, but I just can't hate YOUR Ovie. I must say in my mind I have turned him into a true fictional character. If I hadn't I would not have enjoyed the sex scenes, as much:)
    I really liked this update, thanks!

    ReplyDelete
  3. yay yay yay yay yay yay yay!!!! Finally Ovie sees the light! Aww, I was so excited when he finally believed that she was with him for HIM, not to piss of Sid. And now that no one is mad at her, they can go back to being happy!(: Hope she stays in Russia for a while, or maybe they could go back to the US for something in which Ovie meets Mario, Nathalie, and LAUREN!!!! sorry but I cannot wait for him to meet her family!

    ReplyDelete
  4. haha ohhh lexie good idea!!!!!...maybe sid could be there and have to be nice to him =]..that would be amazing

    ReplyDelete
  5. ovie has another brother... mikhail...

    ReplyDelete
  6. Haha I just loved the idea of her sitting there with his parents...

    ReplyDelete